Pretty women can be hard to befriend

[Anonymous]

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/09/28/tf.friends.with.pretty.women/index.html

As an "ugly" or regular woman, I have never been able to befriend pretty women. Some have been very sweet and nice but the fact that they fundamentally live in a different fairy world would always get in the way. They don't see or experience the world in the same way.

Or they'd line up and bully me.

What have been your experiences?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes they just lay there in bed too. They think looking good is enough.

You can never go wrong with the "go ugly early strategy". They know they aren't beautiful, so they are usually extremely kind and they are very appreciative of attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes they just lay there in bed too. They think looking good is enough.

You can never go wrong with the "go ugly early strategy". They know they aren't beautiful, so they are usually extremely kind and they are very appreciative of attention.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can never go wrong with the "go ugly early strategy". They know they aren't beautiful, so they are usually extremely kind and they are very appreciative of attention.

Nope. Their souls are bitter and curdled, filled with bile from years of being scorned and ignored and suffering the thing that women are incapable of handling - sexual rejection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes they just lay there in bed too. They think looking good is enough.

You can never go wrong with the "go ugly early strategy". They know they aren't beautiful, so they are usually extremely kind and they are very appreciative of attention.

Actually the ones I know who were "ugly" but grew into their looks or are now considered beautiful...actually have the new found attention get to their head. They aren't very nice.

[Anonymous]

As someone who's often called pretty, and who makes and sustains solid friendships fairly easily, I'll say this: if you make assumptions about people based on purely on how they look, you are going to struggle with relationships. That's on you, not them. I like people who are kind and down to earth and funny and all that good stuff. If people are unkind or snobby or selfish, I don't engage with them. Their looks don't factor in.

I was not always pretty, and was bullied pretty horribly when I was much younger. Maybe that's taught me empathy, or not to judge a book by it's cover, but anytime someone avoids an entire group of people based on nothing related to character, that's a major problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes they just lay there in bed too. They think looking good is enough.

You can never go wrong with the "go ugly early strategy". They know they aren't beautiful, so they are usually extremely kind and they are very appreciative of attention.

This is so true.

[Anonymous]

I've always been pretty, and always made friends easily. And I'm not only friends with people who are traditionally pretty.

I think you will find what you look for. If you look to see that pretty people are bitchy, you will see that. That author talked about how the models she knew were mean and crazy. But what about all the pretty people who are neither of those?

Sometimes I'm in a quiet mood, and maybe that makes people think I'm aloof or bitchy. I shouldn't have to over-compensate for the way you THINK I may be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always been pretty, and always made friends easily. And I'm not only friends with people who are traditionally pretty.

I think you will find what you look for. If you look to see that pretty people are bitchy, you will see that. That author talked about how the models she knew were mean and crazy. But what about all the pretty people who are neither of those?

Sometimes I'm in a quiet mood, and maybe that makes people think I'm aloof or bitchy. I shouldn't have to over-compensate for the way you THINK I may be.

That's funny, I never found you the slightest bit attractive.

[Anonymous]

This is just one anecdote - so basically worthless for making general conclusions. But, this thread reminded me of my 25 year reunion. The head cheerleader in high school was so beautiful, I almost couldn't look at her, she was so intimidating to me. A lot of that was in my head, but she really was pretty.

25 years later - still pretty. What's more, I hung out with her a bit that weekend. She's delightful and has a family that seems very well put together. (She was never mean to me or anything in high school - I was just so intimidated by her appearance, I basically didn't interact with her even when we were in the same social circle.)

Anyway, I know there is a trope where maybe popular people peak in high school, then get fat, ugly, and miserable. Not at all the case here.

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty but I am really shy. I do have friends but I also feel like it takes awhile to grow into a situation where I see the same people each day, unless someone can blow past the pretty and strike up a conversation. Then I will chat your ear off. And I’m always grateful for the engagement. I get the feeling that people assume I’m aloof or don’t need friends but I really do.

[Anonymous]

I was very pretty for a few years in my early twenties. Basically, I did not hang out with girls who were not pretty. A group of pretty girls doing anything all together gets a lot of attention, and I loved it.

I got less pretty as I got older, had kids, etc. Not anything dramatic.

[Anonymous]

My experiences with pretty women:

1. Pretty girl who grew up middle class but due to having a great body and model good looks always received a lot of attention. She always was and is a "striver" and now has become even more focused on that. She only exclusively befriends rich, pretty blonde girls just like her and if you aren't good looking AND rich, she will completely ignore you or bully you.

2. Gorgeous friend in college. Half lebanese half white. An heiress. Model good looks. She was a sweetheart and very kind and was actually shy. She befriended anyone and since she already had looks and status had nothing to prove. We were good friends. She was always very sweet but very...supercial. Most of our conversations were about skincare, clothes, makeup and designer brands. She is now married to an investment banker and spends her time traveling around the world in cute clothes.

3.This friend was plain looking when we were younger. Overtime she lost her babyfat and learned to do her hair and makeup. She became conventionally attractive and started receiving a lot of attention. In about 3 years changed a lot about herself to assimilate into and be with the "higher social status" people and women. She also almost exclusively befriends rich pretty girls and pose for insta pictures together. She dumped all of her regular looking friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's often called pretty, and who makes and sustains solid friendships fairly easily, I'll say this: if you make assumptions about people based on purely on how they look, you are going to struggle with relationships. That's on you, not them. I like people who are kind and down to earth and funny and all that good stuff. If people are unkind or snobby or selfish, I don't engage with them. Their looks don't factor in.

I was not always pretty, and was bullied pretty horribly when I was much younger. Maybe that's taught me empathy, or not to judge a book by it's cover, but anytime someone avoids an entire group of people based on nothing related to character, that's a major problem.

What happened to my "cute" post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My experiences with pretty women:

1. Pretty girl who grew up middle class but due to having a great body and model good looks always received a lot of attention. She always was and is a "striver" and now has become even more focused on that. She only exclusively befriends rich, pretty blonde girls just like her and if you aren't good looking AND rich, she will completely ignore you or bully you.

2. Gorgeous friend in college. Half lebanese half white. An heiress. Model good looks. She was a sweetheart and very kind and was actually shy. She befriended anyone and since she already had looks and status had nothing to prove. We were good friends. She was always very sweet but very...supercial. Most of our conversations were about skincare, clothes, makeup and designer brands. She is now married to an investment banker and spends her time traveling around the world in cute clothes.

3.This friend was plain looking when we were younger. Overtime she lost her babyfat and learned to do her hair and makeup. She became conventionally attractive and started receiving a lot of attention. In about 3 years changed a lot about herself to assimilate into and be with the "higher social status" people and women. She also almost exclusively befriends rich pretty girls and pose for insta pictures together. She dumped all of her regular looking friends.

PP here. This is funny. I’ve never been one to lollygag around with a large gaggle of pretty, done-up women. My friend groups have always been diverse. I tend to be attracted to academic and artsy types. I’ve tried to be friends with pretty, vapid women (just because we had something in common or went to college together, etc) and it never lasts. I’m way too shy to be a striver. I actually wish I were way ballsier.