Pretty women can be hard to befriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My experiences with pretty women:

1. Pretty girl who grew up middle class but due to having a great body and model good looks always received a lot of attention. She always was and is a "striver" and now has become even more focused on that. She only exclusively befriends rich, pretty blonde girls just like her and if you aren't good looking AND rich, she will completely ignore you or bully you.

2. Gorgeous friend in college. Half lebanese half white. An heiress. Model good looks. She was a sweetheart and very kind and was actually shy. She befriended anyone and since she already had looks and status had nothing to prove. We were good friends. She was always very sweet but very...supercial. Most of our conversations were about skincare, clothes, makeup and designer brands. She is now married to an investment banker and spends her time traveling around the world in cute clothes.

3.This friend was plain looking when we were younger. Overtime she lost her babyfat and learned to do her hair and makeup. She became conventionally attractive and started receiving a lot of attention. In about 3 years changed a lot about herself to assimilate into and be with the "higher social status" people and women. She also almost exclusively befriends rich pretty girls and pose for insta pictures together. She dumped all of her regular looking friends.

PP here. This is funny. I’ve never been one to lollygag around with a large gaggle of pretty, done-up women. My friend groups have always been diverse. I tend to be attracted to academic and artsy types. I’ve tried to be friends with pretty, vapid women (just because we had something in common or went to college together, etc) and it never lasts. I’m way too shy to be a striver. I actually wish I were way ballsier.

Pp here. Yeah my friendships with these pretty women always seems to fizzle out. They care about looks and status a lot more than I. Even the nice ones. I guess I just can’t conoete ahah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's often called pretty, and who makes and sustains solid friendships fairly easily, I'll say this: if you make assumptions about people based on purely on how they look, you are going to struggle with relationships. That's on you, not them. I like people who are kind and down to earth and funny and all that good stuff. If people are unkind or snobby or selfish, I don't engage with them. Their looks don't factor in.

I was not always pretty, and was bullied pretty horribly when I was much younger. Maybe that's taught me empathy, or not to judge a book by it's cover, but anytime someone avoids an entire group of people based on nothing related to character, that's a major problem.

What happened to my "cute" post?

I reported it for being the creepy and irrelevant thing it was.

[Anonymous]

In that article, the author's examples were models and actresses.

Those are two professions that attract crazy people and also can turn normal people crazy.

[Anonymous]

^^But to your point that I'm clueless and actually cute, but not pretty, when I was in college, a bunch of my friends and I got into a discussion one night at dinner about who was cute and who was pretty. And I asked, what am I, and they rolled their eyes, and said, "pretty." It was good-natured, though, and they remained my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty but I am really shy. I do have friends but I also feel like it takes awhile to grow into a situation where I see the same people each day, unless someone can blow past the pretty and strike up a conversation. Then I will chat your ear off. And I’m always grateful for the engagement. I get the feeling that people assume I’m aloof or don’t need friends but I really do.

We're twins.

[Anonymous]

I agree they can be. I say this as someone whose bff is tall and pretty as a model. She's the sweetest do anything for you person I have met. But she was hard to get to know. One reason she is very shy. She also dealt with being bullied by other women who were jealous of her and she dealt with that by being very standoffish.

[Anonymous]

I have an exceptionally beautiful friend. She has been my friend since we were 10. I think she doesn't trust people easily, but that is because people make assumptions about her based on her looks. And she never trusted that guys liked her or her looks. But it is not because she lives in a fantasyland. She is just a private person who is careful about who gets inside her inner circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's often called pretty, and who makes and sustains solid friendships fairly easily, I'll say this: if you make assumptions about people based on purely on how they look, you are going to struggle with relationships. That's on you, not them. I like people who are kind and down to earth and funny and all that good stuff. If people are unkind or snobby or selfish, I don't engage with them. Their looks don't factor in.

I was not always pretty, and was bullied pretty horribly when I was much younger. Maybe that's taught me empathy, or not to judge a book by it's cover, but anytime someone avoids an entire group of people based on nothing related to character, that's a major problem.

100% this. The issue is with you, OP - it has zero to do with their looks, or yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In that article, the author's examples were models and actresses.

Those are two professions that attract crazy people and also can turn normal people crazy.

So true. It's literally their job to look good.

[Anonymous]

I’ve only ever been cut dead in a social situation by obese women. Beautiful women have always been nice and friendly to me, as have average looking and plain women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's often called pretty, and who makes and sustains solid friendships fairly easily, I'll say this: if you make assumptions about people based on purely on how they look, you are going to struggle with relationships. That's on you, not them. I like people who are kind and down to earth and funny and all that good stuff. If people are unkind or snobby or selfish, I don't engage with them. Their looks don't factor in.

I was not always pretty, and was bullied pretty horribly when I was much younger. Maybe that's taught me empathy, or not to judge a book by it's cover, but anytime someone avoids an entire group of people based on nothing related to character, that's a major problem.

What happened to my "cute" post?

I reported it for being the creepy and irrelevant thing it was.

I thought it was funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^But to your point that I'm clueless and actually cute, but not pretty, when I was in college, a bunch of my friends and I got into a discussion one night at dinner about who was cute and who was pretty. And I asked, what am I, and they rolled their eyes, and said, "pretty." It was good-natured, though, and they remained my friends.

I just picked your post to differentiate from the other post where the woman sounded like the women OP described and I love when people try to talk about the difference between pretty and cute. I thought I might detour the thread but you foiled my plans. Maybe you aren't "cute" after all. Ratfinks are never cute. Remember snitches get stitches.

[Anonymous]

This article surprises me. Some of my best friends are drop dead gorgeous and truly beautiful inside and out. I have had the worst experiences with people who lack self-esteem and unfortunately, obesity was often associated. So I steer clear of fat chicks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only ever been cut dead in a social situation by obese women. Beautiful women have always been nice and friendly to me, as have average looking and plain women.

+1

[Anonymous]

Try being pretty, but nerdy. That throws everyone off.