Do you know any men who have given up career goals it education to be with a woman?

[Anonymous]

Head of School at our private has a trailing spouse, as did the previous Head.

I know two women who started their own businesses and their DH's quit their jobs to become part of her team.

[Anonymous]

My friend had a dad who was definitely a trailing spouse. His mom was a biglaw partner at one of the big NYC firms and his dad did something in insurance.

[Anonymous]

Men make careers FOR FAMILY (Women and Children). It is something we are forced into doing because of systemic social pressure that push us into being providers. Who benefits from the career? The SAHM and kids. Who dies 5 - 10 years younger because of it - men. Who are more likely to die due to job related accidents - men.

Your question is based on a false premise that careers are things every person should want or seek equally.

You could just as easily ask the question: How many men do you know that gave up personal goals to be with a woman? Answer is every married man that works a full time job. Each one of us would prefer to be doing something else but we work so our wives can do what they want at home (take piano lessons, paint, volunteer, spend time with kids, go to mommy's day out with friends). Us working is a gift to women.

[Anonymous]

My brother gave up a good job he liked to follow his now-wife across the country. They worked for the same company, both put in for transfers and got them, although his was a downgrade. Once he got there, things went south very quickly with new team he was on, so he started doing ad sales for tech startups. 8 years later, he is still in ad sales. She is a company VP.

[Anonymous]

I once went to purchase some car parts from a fellow collector car owner. He lived in a gorgeous house and he owned a few other collector cars, which were stacked on lifts in a dream garage. I invited me in for a beer in his ultimate basement man cave. I assumed the guy must be an super-successful plastic surgeon, attorney-partner, etc. I sheepishly asked, "This is an incredible place. Do you mind if I ask what you do?" He told me he was a stay-at-home dad. His wife had started and sold two companies and was she working on her third.

[Anonymous]

I do. The wife spend decades working for a top financial firm in NYC. She definitely seems to “wear the pants in the family” in every arena. He’s a nice guy and now they have 2 kids in Ivy’s he is ramping his career back up.

[Anonymous]

Yes, wife is an entertainment attorney and he freelances as a web developer while handling most of the childcare for their two kids. So proud of them for doing what works for their family!

[Anonymous]

We took turns going to school.

[Anonymous]

I remember reading that a lot of families moving to Brooklyn in the past 10 years have this arrangement--wives are like high-powered attorneys or similar, and a lot of the dads are in graphic design, etc. and are SAHDs or work PT.

[Anonymous]

OP doesn’t get out much.

-former teacher now sahd

[Anonymous]

My ex was sexually abused by two different caretakers as a child, so she was always adamant that she would be a stay at home mom when the time came. We tried to have a baby for seven years with no luck. Throughout that time, she worked dead end jobs always hoping for the perfect opportunity to come along. As fate would have it, she got pregnant right after landing the perfect job. I thought for sure she'd consider daycare given how rare of an opportunity it was. She wouldn't hear of it. I didn't want her to give up her dream, so I volunteered to stay home instead. I did it until my daughter was old enough to go to school. I never got back into my field.

[Anonymous]

I had been dating my now DH for only a few months when his clerkship ended. I was applying to grad schools for the following year. My DH chose to join large, multi-city law firm based where I was applying. He said it was to make sure he had maximum flexibility. I thought he was crazy, but his best friend said it made sense to her.

He ended up making partner and is very happy at his firm. So it worked out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn’t get out much.

-former teacher now sahd

It's a good thing you are no longer teaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, quite a few. Here's three off hte top of my head:

One - Brown grad who had a good career - who now stays home with the kids because his wife, exec director of a nonprofit, travels a lot for work.

Another who is the trailing spouse for a State Dept diplomat

Another trailing spouse for a State Dept diplomat

There are others as well - but these are the first three who came to mind.

+ literally dozens and dozens and dozens

A huge number of Foreign Service executives are women. If those women are married, then their spouse has given up his own career 99.9% of the time.

The ignorance and naivete of posts like this in a city like DC is appalling, tbh.

Three big whoop! Unless you tell me you know zero women who have given up their careers. You can shut the hell up Stupid cow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men make careers FOR FAMILY (Women and Children). It is something we are forced into doing because of systemic social pressure that push us into being providers. Who benefits from the career? The SAHM and kids. Who dies 5 - 10 years younger because of it - men. Who are more likely to die due to job related accidents - men.

Your question is based on a false premise that careers are things every person should want or seek equally.

You could just as easily ask the question: How many men do you know that gave up personal goals to be with a woman? Answer is every married man that works a full time job. Each one of us would prefer to be doing something else but we work so our wives can do what they want at home (take piano lessons, paint, volunteer, spend time with kids, go to mommy's day out with friends). Us working is a gift to women.

Haha. Thanks for the laugh idiot!