Feeling left out

[Anonymous]

This is a problem of private schools, they have fewer students. Fewer students stifles social life.

[Anonymous]

People who post about their kids' social gatherings and tag all the other parents are insecure, in my experience. They are show-offs who want everyone else to know how much fun they are having, and how "popular" their kids are, and are too self-absorbed to realize that along with propping up their ego, it is obnoxious to do this and makes others feel left out.

OP, teach your son that it is rude to talk about your party/gathering in front of people who were not invited. His friend is not being kind (or a real friend) if he does that. It's a hard lesson to be left out of something, but unfortunately part of life. Another important lesson is that you don't always have to play the game. Seek out the people who are nice and who you enjoy being with.

We had a mom like this at my DD's private - very fake-friendly, posts literally EVERYthing on FB, including kids and their friends at various outings/get togethers, glamorous vacations, DD all dolled up in designer clothing with her hair professionally done for every special occasion (this kid started getting $200 highlights at age 11), DS getting parts in commercials, etc. She clearly had money to burn and was living through her kids, who were as spoiled and disagreeable as one might expect. I didn't unfollow her just because I find entertainment value in seeing the posts now.

Unfortunately, since your son is young, you will likely be dealing with this family for several years yet. I'd just distance myself and encourage my child to do the same. And hell to the no on the charity contributions.

[Anonymous]

The posting is obnoxious, but the fact that that she invites you to other events for a price really puts her over the top.

[Anonymous]

Does this mom remind anyone else of Christina Applegate’s character in “Bad Moms?”
I am no help, OP. I am Kristin Bell’s character. And even though I am a SAHM with kids in private school, I can’t even relate to that kind of SAHM.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the point of the get together is to exclude other people. I am not sure what you would gain by pointing out that you feel excluded. You’re not one of the cool girls. Join the rest of us!

[Anonymous]

Haven’t read the whole thread,but have you tried to cultivate by inviting her child to YOUR house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read the whole thread,but have you tried to cultivate by inviting her child to YOUR house?

You should read the whole thread then. This was asked and answered.

[Anonymous]

Take heart that this will all go away by about 6th grade.
My kid was friends with a group of boys. The moms rarely included him because I wasn't close friends with them. They were the type (about 8) who only ever talked to each other at school. Never included any other moms or kids. For years.
Finally in 5th/6th grades the kids all got phones and now they talk to and invite who THEY like, not who their moms like.
Problem solved. My son is invited to everything because it's the kids doing the inviting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take heart that this will all go away by about 6th grade.
My kid was friends with a group of boys. The moms rarely included him because I wasn't close friends with them. They were the type (about 8) who only ever talked to each other at school. Never included any other moms or kids. For years.
Finally in 5th/6th grades the kids all got phones and now they talk to and invite who THEY like, not who their moms like.
Problem solved. My son is invited to everything because it's the kids doing the inviting.

I like this perspective! I have a 3rd grade DS and experience some of this but relate it a bit more to me being a Choice mom. We don’t naturally fit into their social structures.

DS is social, though, so does often receive invites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who post about their kids' social gatherings and tag all the other parents are insecure, in my experience. They are show-offs who want everyone else to know how much fun they are having, and how "popular" their kids are, and are too self-absorbed to realize that along with propping up their ego, it is obnoxious to do this and makes others feel left out.

OP, teach your son that it is rude to talk about your party/gathering in front of people who were not invited. His friend is not being kind (or a real friend) if he does that. It's a hard lesson to be left out of something, but unfortunately part of life. Another important lesson is that you don't always have to play the game. Seek out the people who are nice and who you enjoy being with.

We had a mom like this at my DD's private - very fake-friendly, posts literally EVERYthing on FB, including kids and their friends at various outings/get togethers, glamorous vacations, DD all dolled up in designer clothing with her hair professionally done for every special occasion (this kid started getting $200 highlights at age 11), DS getting parts in commercials, etc. She clearly had money to burn and was living through her kids, who were as spoiled and disagreeable as one might expect. I didn't unfollow her just because I find entertainment value in seeing the posts now.

Unfortunately, since your son is young, you will likely be dealing with this family for several years yet. I'd just distance myself and encourage my child to do the same. And hell to the no on the charity contributions.

I have a friend who always tags us and our friend group. Our kids don’t attend the same school though. I don’t think she is insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are YOU feeling left out or is your son?

OP here. If my son wasn't involved, I wouldn't care much. I have a great group of friends myself. However, with him feeling left out, I can't help but feel a bit left out as well as these playdates involve other moms too (not just kids). Is it just bad taste that the mom posts about the playdates? I never post when I invite people over to my house, I never post when someone invites me to their house and my guests never post about being invited to my house (or any other friend's house). It's just common courtesy I feel ...

I feel you. In the same boat except the the moms of my sons three closest friends are BFF’s. This translates to lots of informal get togethers among the parents and the kids that my child is not invited to. His close friends tell him about the get togethers. It hurts him. He feels left out too.

No good answer for you OP. Wish the world was universally inclusive all the time. Realize this is a pipe dream.

[Anonymous]

Is this St Pats moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this St Pats moms?

OP here. No, but interesting to know ithis happens there too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this mom remind anyone else of Christina Applegate’s character in “Bad Moms?”
I am no help, OP. I am Kristin Bell’s character. And even though I am a SAHM with kids in private school, I can’t even relate to that kind of SAHM.

OP here. LOL, yes, kind of that’s why the movie resonates with so many of us I guess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this St Pats moms?

I would have bet money on this!