Feeling left out

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised no one has asked -- OP, have you ever invited this child over to YOUR house for a playdate? Maybe she's not inviting your kid because you've never invited hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a similar situation. There’s a group of SAHM’s who organize big group activities for their kids. My DH and I work and travel more often then we’d like but it’s just not realistic for us to try and attend their activities or try to keep up with them by hosting our own all the time. I’m sure it looks lovely from the outside, but do you really want to get caught up in a social circle like that?

Ditto. I started going down this rabbit hole & then realized that if my child is happy (she is), then that is what matters. More importantly: how many kids from 2nd grade were you still friends with in 5th. 7th, 9th grades?

[Anonymous]

What this mom is doing is in poor taste, and screams insecurity or an obsession with social status to me. Bragging about how much fun people had at your house is pathetic, and clearly intended to signal how popular she is to everyone. Kind of sad, really. I would have no interest in being friends with this person. If my kid liked her kid, I'd invite the kid over to play, but that's about it. If your kid asks why he's never invited, I'd just say that you don't know for sure, but Larlo's mom decides who to invite, and she's probably inviting the moms she's closest to. It's normal to feel sad, but it's almost certainly not a judgment on him. Keep inviting his best friend and other friends over to your house to play.

And there is no way I'd be giving that woman a dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What this mom is doing is in poor taste, and screams insecurity or an obsession with social status to me. Bragging about how much fun people had at your house is pathetic, and clearly intended to signal how popular she is to everyone. Kind of sad, really. I would have no interest in being friends with this person. If my kid liked her kid, I'd invite the kid over to play, but that's about it. If your kid asks why he's never invited, I'd just say that you don't know for sure, but Larlo's mom decides who to invite, and she's probably inviting the moms she's closest to. It's normal to feel sad, but it's almost certainly not a judgment on him. Keep inviting his best friend and other friends over to your house to play.

And there is no way I'd be giving that woman a dime.

Yep yep yep +1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised no one has asked -- OP, have you ever invited this child over to YOUR house for a playdate? Maybe she's not inviting your kid because you've never invited hers.

OP here. Yes I did. I invited this kid a couple of times and the other mom invited him a couple of times. All 4 playdates were with the 2 kids alone.

[Anonymous]

Personally I would make a bit more effort to connect with the mom. For any number of innocent reasons she may just not have considered inviting you guys. I would mention casually you heard about her get togethers through the grapevine, and your son mentioned it to you, etc... something along those lines.

If she’s really just being stuck up and exclusive, I would just drop it and not look back. You nor your son don’t need people like that in your life. Keep doing what you’re doing to enrich your sons social life without being hung up on what they’re doing. Hope all works out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I would make a bit more effort to connect with the mom. For any number of innocent reasons she may just not have considered inviting you guys. I would mention casually you heard about her get togethers through the grapevine, and your son mentioned it to you, etc... something along those lines.

If she’s really just being stuck up and exclusive, I would just drop it and not look back. You nor your son don’t need people like that in your life. Keep doing what you’re doing to enrich your sons social life without being hung up on what they’re doing. Hope all works out for you.

Do not ask about something you were excluded from! That is extremely rude. There is a mom like this at our school. At first she was asking me to hang out all of the time. I could not figure out why. As time went on, I realized that she's just a social climber. I have no interest in being friends with someone like that. I bet that this woman perceives that either you or your kid can't do anything for her. Just let it drop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I would make a bit more effort to connect with the mom. For any number of innocent reasons she may just not have considered inviting you guys. I would mention casually you heard about her get togethers through the grapevine, and your son mentioned it to you, etc... something along those lines.

If she’s really just being stuck up and exclusive, I would just drop it and not look back. You nor your son don’t need people like that in your life. Keep doing what you’re doing to enrich your sons social life without being hung up on what they’re doing. Hope all works out for you.

Do not ask about something you were excluded from! That is extremely rude. There is a mom like this at our school. At first she was asking me to hang out all of the time. I could not figure out why. As time went on, I realized that she's just a social climber. I have no interest in being friends with someone like that. I bet that this woman perceives that either you or your kid can't do anything for her. Just let it drop.

Social climbing? Don’t be so cynical. Nothing wrong with making an effort to get to know better/socialize with families of her sons friends. If they don’t welcome her and her son. She can simply leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I would make a bit more effort to connect with the mom. For any number of innocent reasons she may just not have considered inviting you guys. I would mention casually you heard about her get togethers through the grapevine, and your son mentioned it to you, etc... something along those lines.

If she’s really just being stuck up and exclusive, I would just drop it and not look back. You nor your son don’t need people like that in your life. Keep doing what you’re doing to enrich your sons social life without being hung up on what they’re doing. Hope all works out for you.

Do not ask about something you were excluded from! That is extremely rude. There is a mom like this at our school. At first she was asking me to hang out all of the time. I could not figure out why. As time went on, I realized that she's just a social climber. I have no interest in being friends with someone like that. I bet that this woman perceives that either you or your kid can't do anything for her. Just let it drop.

Social climbing? Don’t be so cynical. Nothing wrong with making an effort to get to know better/socialize with families of her sons friends. If they don’t welcome her and her son. She can simply leave it at that.

Her son and the other kid in question have had 8 1:1 playdates. They just aren't that into them. Time to focus on the friends the kid can count on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure what I would tell your son but I would unfriend this person on facebook. Why are you facebook friends with people you are not friends with?

+1 billion. Why are you doing this to yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]Unfollowing the mom on Facebook won't help.[/b] If the mom tags other moms, her posts still could pop up in OP's feed because she is friends with those other moms.

Then blocking her will!
Unfollow and block. Problem solved. She won't even notice.

[Anonymous]

We are not at a private but I do have a second grade son. I do organize group play dates. I am not a fan of social media though.

I invite kids who are well behaved, moms I like and kids my kid likes. I can’t invite everyone despite our home being quite large.

Would it not bother you if it was not on social media?

My older son is friends with a kid. They are in fourth grade. One mom sometimes posts about sleepovers or outings and one kid and mom feel bad. The mom has asked and it is a bit awkward. Kid and mom just aren’t as close.

I hate social media for these exact reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are not at a private but I do have a second grade son. I do organize group play dates. I am not a fan of social media though.

I invite kids who are well behaved, moms I like and kids my kid likes. I can’t invite everyone despite our home being quite large.

Would it not bother you if it was not on social media?

My older son is friends with a kid. They are in fourth grade. One mom sometimes posts about sleepovers or outings and one kid and mom feel bad. The mom has asked and it is a bit awkward. Kid and mom just aren’t as close.

I hate social media for these exact reasons.

what does this even mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure what I would tell your son but I would unfriend this person on facebook. Why are you facebook friends with people you are not friends with?

+1 billion. Why are you doing this to yourself?

because her kid is asking, and frankly, it's hurtful. To quote George Costanza, '"we're living in a SOCIETY!" it's totally normal to feel this way, OP. anyone saying otherwise is lacking empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not at a private but I do have a second grade son. I do organize group play dates. I am not a fan of social media though.

I invite kids who are well behaved, moms I like and kids my kid likes. I can’t invite everyone despite our home being quite large.

Would it not bother you if it was not on social media?

My older son is friends with a kid. They are in fourth grade. One mom sometimes posts about sleepovers or outings and one kid and mom feel bad. The mom has asked and it is a bit awkward. Kid and mom just aren’t as close.

I hate social media for these exact reasons.

what does this even mean?

My son’s friend’s mom posts about the kids on Facebook. Another mutual friend and kid feel bad when they see the posts.

We are in with my kids’ friend circles but we were out in one group in preschool. Mom and kid had few play dates with us. Then this one mom started doing this tot soccer and didn’t invite us. Other people did invite us. They often had group play dates and outings at that mom’s house. I would see on social media and felt oh so slightly bad. I got over it and still invited the kid to our birthday parties.

I’m just wondering if this mom being rich or the charity invitations have anything to do with normal every day kid stuff.