Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the sort of thing that either happens or it doesn't.

There is no way to manipulate someone else into being attracted to you. You either have that spark together or you don't.

Op here yeah I'm not really talking about how to make a guy like me

I'm talking about the awkwardness of how to ask someone up.

But maybe that's it. If he was into me, like I said, he could have given me more of an opportunity to ask him up by just kissing me, continuing to kiss me, and not saying good night.

There is nothing awkward about inviting him in/up. It's simple. "I'm cold." "I have nosy neighbors" or the very simple, straightforward and not awkward to any guy: "wanna come inside for a bit?"

If he doesn't, then it can be awkward but at least you have your answer.

[Anonymous]

Skyeblue wrote:OP, the other idea is to just let the pace set itself. You described a nice, slow linear progression towards getting to know each other. Physical by the 3rd date, that's good. Sex will come. Getting to know each other first keeps your head clear about who you both are (assuming you want a LTR).

I'm an ardent feminist and not against women having as much sex as they want but the older I get the more I think sex too early is a mistake, for both parties. Just one person's opinion. Best of luck to you.

Someone's inbox is going to remain empty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Want to come up for a glass of wine?" would work.

Tea, beer, movie, picture, dog, cat, painting, pen, pencil.... whatever works best in context. Tea or wine are usually the easiest.

Tea? Seriously? I don’t think I know any men who drink tea.

Well if you don't know ant they must not exist! Broaden your circle.

Tea is not sexy. It’s what you drink before you go to sleep, or while you sit with your cat in your lap, reading a British novel of the inter-war period.

[Anonymous]

As a guy, if we are standing in front of my house at the end of the date, it's totally easy to invite her in. But no way am I going to invite myself into her place. I had a similar moment a few years ago when I was waiting for her to invite me in, but it never came because she was apprehensive about asking her too.

To avoid this next time, invite him over for the date or go out but then at the end ask to stop by his place to check it out. Or for the date, drive to his place and then go out from there. Then when you get back from dinner or whatever, he will invite you in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Want to come up for a glass of wine?" would work.

Tea, beer, movie, picture, dog, cat, painting, pen, pencil.... whatever works best in context. Tea or wine are usually the easiest.

Tea? Seriously? I don’t think I know any men who drink tea.

Well if you don't know ant they must not exist! Broaden your circle.

I'm always up for a glass of pen

[Anonymous]

I have no idea why women in this day and age like to act so passive, meek, and clueless. If you want an equal partner, you need to act like one. Women can make decisions, women can speak, women can say what they like and want. Stop acting like because you are a woman you are some kind of precious fragile flower that is just at the mercy of the man.

If you want him to come up, you invite him up. You don't stay silent then fret about whether or not he likes you. Women get seen as weak because they act weak...like this.

[Anonymous]

Hey! Want to come up and knock boots? Buff my lobby? Tickle my pickle? Pet my kitten?

[Anonymous]

Please invite him over to your place if you want to hang out or show him your place, but if you want to have sex with him, please tell him that. Just say I want you or I want to have sex with you or just discuss what you want sexually with him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he wants to take it slow and steady. My guess is the 4th date will progress the way you want it to. The fact that he didn’t kiss you after the first two dates but went for it on the third reflects that he’s attracted to you, but being a gentleman.

[Anonymous]

If he isn't interested next time, let me know.

[Anonymous]

Initiating coming up to your apartment could be seen as harassment.

I think only the egocentric / narcissists would initiate that in this day and age.

Many guys take things slower and are cautious out of concern their interest isn't reciprocated and their actions are misinterpreted

[Anonymous]

the older I get the more I think sex too early is a mistake, for both parties.

Damn it! Did it wrong, all that sex after our second date, including on lots of wedding anniversaries.

[Anonymous]

He knows you aren't really asking him to come in for a cup of tea. But you could also ask him if he'd like to see your etchings.

[Anonymous]

Would you like to come up to my apartment and fool around?

Or as PP said- grind your hips into him then take his hand and lead him upstairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Want to come up for a glass of wine?" would work.

Tea, beer, movie, picture, dog, cat, painting, pen, pencil.... whatever works best in context. Tea or wine are usually the easiest.

Tea? Seriously? I don’t think I know any men who drink tea.

"Tea? Only if it's Vintage Narcissus Oolong," he said haughtily.