Do married people really get hit on as much as it appears on this board?

[Anonymous]

The worst is business conferences, I swear some people just think conferences are huge conventions for people looking to cheat.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I have encountered men with whom I have some kind of baseline chemistry and who I feel perhaps feel the same but is immediately squelched in some way. I think most people who get hit on are open to being hit on which is what attracts people to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I have encountered men with whom I have some kind of baseline chemistry and who I feel perhaps feel the same but is immediately squelched in some way. I think most people who get hit on are open to being hit on which is what attracts people to them.

Yep...and they know it. But there's nothing wrong with looking your best when you go out. Some people just have that welcoming look to them (not in a creepy way) but they just look like someone you'd like to get to know better (in a platonic way, of course).

[Anonymous]

During a neighborhood party, one of my male friends said we should meet for lunch some day because we work so close to each other. He then sent an email asking and I agreed thinking nothing of it... I met him and our lunch was in a cozy booth at a dark restaurant. The lunch was awkward- It was clear he had something in mind. When we left he followed me to my car- I did a quick exit- "Wow- I'm late" and hopped in my car. He emailed the next day and asked to meet again. I replied saying that I was busy but next time we should have my husband and his wife join us. This was years ago and it's still kind of weird seeing him.

[Anonymous]

I recently attended the 50th birthday party of a college friend of my husband's, and someone I have known since my graduate school days. The party was held in another, where our friend lives, and was akin to a wedding, held in a hotel, with a hundred guests, an open bar, dinner, and a live band. It was really lovely. In any case, my husband, who deeply hurt me with a recent infidelity after decades of marriage, was distant and disengaged, talking and dancing with anyone but me. So I spent most of the evening with the birthday friend's family and older friends from high school, college, and graduate school, many of whom I have met and gotten to know well over the years. We ate, talked, danced in groups, and generally had a great time. I am now no spring chicken, and I have never been the most beautiful woman in the room, but I am fit (BMI 18.9), and that night I wore a good, fitted dress, and had done my hair and makeup. At the bar after the birthday party, one of the host's oldest high school friends, someone with whom I had talked but not exclusively so, asked me if I would join him for a late night walk (1:00 a.m.) around the city. He is married, and my husband was also at the bar. I kindly explained to him that I could not do that because my own husband had broken my heart with an affair, and I could never hurt another woman that way, then I burst into tears, and turned to a female acquaintance and spent the rest of the evening talking to her. The man left the bar a few minutes later, probably embarrassed for or by me. I felt bad that I may have hurt his feelings, and the next time something like this happens with another man (if ever) I will have a more appropriate response ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently attended the 50th birthday party of a college friend of my husband's, and someone I have known since my graduate school days. The party was held in another, where our friend lives, and was akin to a wedding, held in a hotel, with a hundred guests, an open bar, dinner, and a live band. It was really lovely. In any case, my husband, who deeply hurt me with a recent infidelity after decades of marriage, was distant and disengaged, talking and dancing with anyone but me. So I spent most of the evening with the birthday friend's family and older friends from high school, college, and graduate school, many of whom I have met and gotten to know well over the years. We ate, talked, danced in groups, and generally had a great time. I am now no spring chicken, and I have never been the most beautiful woman in the room, but I am fit (BMI 18.9), and that night I wore a good, fitted dress, and had done my hair and makeup. At the bar after the birthday party, one of the host's oldest high school friends, someone with whom I had talked but not exclusively so, asked me if I would join him for a late night walk (1:00 a.m.) around the city. He is married, and my husband was also at the bar. I kindly explained to him that I could not do that because my own husband had broken my heart with an affair, and I could never hurt another woman that way, then I burst into tears, and turned to a female acquaintance and spent the rest of the evening talking to her. The man left the bar a few minutes later, probably embarrassed for or by me. I felt bad that I may have hurt his feelings, and the next time something like this happens with another man (if ever) I will have a more appropriate response ready.

Sounds like a boozy wild night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Been married for almost 15 years. Am fit, good looking, good job, etc. and I don't recall ever being hit on (I'm 42). Maybe some flirting but that's about it.

Similar experience - except married almost 20 years at age 47.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently attended the 50th birthday party of a college friend of my husband's, and someone I have known since my graduate school days. The party was held in another, where our friend lives, and was akin to a wedding, held in a hotel, with a hundred guests, an open bar, dinner, and a live band. It was really lovely. In any case, my husband, who deeply hurt me with a recent infidelity after decades of marriage, was distant and disengaged, talking and dancing with anyone but me. So I spent most of the evening with the birthday friend's family and older friends from high school, college, and graduate school, many of whom I have met and gotten to know well over the years. We ate, talked, danced in groups, and generally had a great time. I am now no spring chicken, and I have never been the most beautiful woman in the room, but I am fit (BMI 18.9), and that night I wore a good, fitted dress, and had done my hair and makeup. At the bar after the birthday party, one of the host's oldest high school friends, someone with whom I had talked but not exclusively so, asked me if I would join him for a late night walk (1:00 a.m.) around the city. He is married, and my husband was also at the bar. I kindly explained to him that I could not do that because my own husband had broken my heart with an affair, and I could never hurt another woman that way, then I burst into tears, and turned to a female acquaintance and spent the rest of the evening talking to her. The man left the bar a few minutes later, probably embarrassed for or by me. I felt bad that I may have hurt his feelings, and the next time something like this happens with another man (if ever) I will have a more appropriate response ready.

Sounds like a boozy wild night.

The cocktails at the host's house started at 5:00 p.m., and the after-party at the bar ended at 2:00 a.m. It was a wildly fun, boozy night, and the man who asked me out for a walk had likely had a lot to drink that night -- as had most guests. I am not a big drinker though, which is why I am in control of my senses, and only had two drinks the entire night.

[Anonymous]

I'm 49 and when I was in my 30's I was hit on a bunch of times. Once it was purely sexual harassment because I was working at an ad agency and the head creative told me that if I wanted good work from his group I needed to sleep with him. I laughed and told him to get lost. He eventually got fired. Another time I was at a few day seminar and the last night one of the guys in my group wanted to sleep with me. I said "you've got to be kidding!". There have been plenty of other too flirty guys even within the past year but none of them required anything other than making an excuse and leaving. I'm as happily married as one can be but I'm pretty outgoing and reasonably attractive (beautiful according to my DH but he is biased!) so this happens. If 35% of marriages end in divorce there are a lot of people out there looking for something.

[Anonymous]

Guy here - A few weeks after I got married....a long time ago....I was on a business trip in LA arriving on a Sunday evening. Being alone, I went to the hotel bar to have dinner and I sat next to a stunning woman who had also just arrived on business We had a fun, lively conversation and at the end she said "how about if we continue this in my room?". I was floored given she knew I had just gotten married. Nothing like that had ever happened when I was single so why now!!! Damn! Needless to say I took a pass. I decided not to tell my new bride who I'm still happily married to.

[Anonymous]

My married Dad spends the winter in Florida and my Mom says he gets hit on all the time even when she is around. He's very good looking and pretty wealthy and there are a ton of divorcees and widows on the prowl. She jokes that if she were to drop dead there would be a line of women at the front door the day after her funeral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I have encountered men with whom I have some kind of baseline chemistry and who I feel perhaps feel the same but is immediately squelched in some way. I think most people who get hit on are open to being hit on which is what attracts people to them.

Yep...and they know it. But there's nothing wrong with looking your best when you go out. Some people just have that welcoming look to them (not in a creepy way) but they just look like someone you'd like to get to know better (in a platonic way, of course).

I am not open to being hit on. I am somewhat submissive so I guess men don’t get the vibe to leave me the F alone.

[Anonymous]

Oh yes I definitely think married parents hit on other married parents. I’m fit but dress conservatively and don’t flirt at all and am very happy in my marriage and even I have had what I’d call “testing the water” interactions from other men/dads. My husband thought he was hit in at a parent gathering and at first I thought no way but now years later I think he probably was! Moms dress like they are going out in a Saturday night in skin tight clothes to parent school activities/meetings and in skin tight yoga pants to kid sporting events.

I actually wonder if the wives/moms know what is going on - my DH and I have wondered how much is going on and if BOTH parents are swingers/whatever. There are a lot of heavy drinking charity and other parties happening here. Nothing would surprise me!

[Anonymous]

The Ladeeeezzzz cannot leave me a lone. They going NUTS for this stuff. They cryin and wailing. Begging for that SCH-WEEET love. and, yes I am RePUBlican.

[Anonymous]

I’m early 30s DH and have been explicitly propositioned by two coworkers. Both knew I was married but didn’t know that I had permission until I told them. Living the dream. (Don’t give AF about the coworker rule)