Hubby jokes about interest in younger women

[Anonymous]

My first boyfriend was like this. I was 15 and he was 18. I asked him to stop staring at all the women passing by so he put on sunglasses.... I could not see his eyes anymore, but his head was turning back and forward... helpless. DH looks sometimes too, but would never comment... I would probably kick him in his stomach if he did that (jk). Talk to him! Explain! Also, if he misses you getting dolled up, you should try to do it! Having small children is no excuse (not everyday of course). Also, you should consider having more sex not so that his eyes won’t wonder (I doubt it would have any effect), but because twice a month is not enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first boyfriend was like this. I was 15 and he was 18. I asked him to stop staring at all the women passing by so he put on sunglasses.... I could not see his eyes anymore, but his head was turning back and forward... helpless. DH looks sometimes too, but would never comment... I would probably kick him in his stomach if he did that (jk). Talk to him! Explain! Also, if he misses you getting dolled up, you should try to do it! Having small children is no excuse (not everyday of course). Also, you should consider having more sex not so that his eyes won’t wonder (I doubt it would have any effect), but because twice a month is not enough

Personally, the last thing I would want to do is get dolled up and have sex with a guy who is so brazenly disrespectful and gross. I hate when people say that's the solution to marital problems because it seems so....rape-y. If I was on a first date with a guy who openly checked out women, I wouldn't have sex with him in hopes that he'd stop, that would be crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first boyfriend was like this. I was 15 and he was 18. I asked him to stop staring at all the women passing by so he put on sunglasses.... I could not see his eyes anymore, but his head was turning back and forward... helpless. DH looks sometimes too, but would never comment... I would probably kick him in his stomach if he did that (jk). Talk to him! Explain! Also, if he misses you getting dolled up, you should try to do it! Having small children is no excuse (not everyday of course). Also, you should consider having more sex not so that his eyes won’t wonder (I doubt it would have any effect), but because twice a month is not enough

Personally, the last thing I would want to do is get dolled up and have sex with a guy who is so brazenly disrespectful and gross. I hate when people say that's the solution to marital problems because it seems so....rape-y. If I was on a first date with a guy who openly checked out women, I wouldn't have sex with him in hopes that he'd stop, that would be crazy.

Plus, it also puts the responsibility for men's bad behavior on women. Not a fan of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first boyfriend was like this. I was 15 and he was 18. I asked him to stop staring at all the women passing by so he put on sunglasses.... I could not see his eyes anymore, but his head was turning back and forward... helpless. DH looks sometimes too, but would never comment... I would probably kick him in his stomach if he did that (jk). Talk to him! Explain! Also, if he misses you getting dolled up, you should try to do it! Having small children is no excuse (not everyday of course). Also, you should consider having more sex not so that his eyes won’t wonder (I doubt it would have any effect), but because twice a month is not enough

Personally, the last thing I would want to do is get dolled up and have sex with a guy who is so brazenly disrespectful and gross. I hate when people say that's the solution to marital problems because it seems so....rape-y. If I was on a first date with a guy who openly checked out women, I wouldn't have sex with him in hopes that he'd stop, that would be crazy.

Plus, it also puts the responsibility for men's bad behavior on women. Not a fan of that.

Look I agree with you, but letting your hair grow and wearing hills once in a while is NOT a big deal. She should not do it so he will stop looking around, but because he misses seeing her like that. Is it bad if I ask my DH to wear a certain shirt one day that I like, or cut his hair or let his beard grow a little? I don’t think so. So why it’s bad to wear hills for a date night or get your hair done? She would just be showing that she still cares that he finds her attractive. I don’t think his wondering eyes have anything to do with what the wife wears or her hair lenght, but he expressed that he would like to see her dolled up every once in a while... why not? For the sex part, twice a month is VERY little. Again, nothing to do with the home sband’s wondering eyes and rude comments, but I can’t imagine DH is happy with that little intimacy. BTW I also have little kids and currently pregnant with #3 so I get it. I always want to be comfortable and never have time to get my hair done. But if DH asked for something like that, I would try to do it right away.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks, yes. I am not interested when he makes those comments so why would I ramp up our sex life? I would feel gross and know I deserve better. I am not unattractive and even notice men look at me and engage when out running errands etc.. Not often but enough to know that I still got it.

I have already done things like get new lingerie, get dolled up more, but can’t exactly throw on heels and short dress when my daily responsability is lugging around a toddler.

I decided to go to the party and will use that time as the perfect opportunity to call him out immediately (will pull him aside, of course). I am prepared to call an Uber and come home alone to make my point very clear.

[Anonymous]

OP- When we do go out on date nights, yes, I get dolled up, wear form fitting dresses, make up, hair done etc.. I often get confused for a twenty something rather than 40+

The issue is that day to day, I cannot do that nor think I should have to. Curled lashes, foundation, blush and lipstick should be enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first boyfriend was like this. I was 15 and he was 18. I asked him to stop staring at all the women passing by so he put on sunglasses.... I could not see his eyes anymore, but his head was turning back and forward... helpless. DH looks sometimes too, but would never comment... I would probably kick him in his stomach if he did that (jk). Talk to him! Explain! Also, if he misses you getting dolled up, you should try to do it! Having small children is no excuse (not everyday of course). Also, you should consider having more sex not so that his eyes won’t wonder (I doubt it would have any effect), but because twice a month is not enough

Personally, the last thing I would want to do is get dolled up and have sex with a guy who is so brazenly disrespectful and gross. I hate when people say that's the solution to marital problems because it seems so....rape-y. If I was on a first date with a guy who openly checked out women, I wouldn't have sex with him in hopes that he'd stop, that would be crazy.

Plus, it also puts the responsibility for men's bad behavior on women. Not a fan of that.

Look I agree with you, but letting your hair grow and wearing hills once in a while is NOT a big deal. She should not do it so he will stop looking around, but because he misses seeing her like that. Is it bad if I ask my DH to wear a certain shirt one day that I like, or cut his hair or let his beard grow a little? I don’t think so. So why it’s bad to wear hills for a date night or get your hair done? She would just be showing that she still cares that he finds her attractive. I don’t think his wondering eyes have anything to do with what the wife wears or her hair lenght, but he expressed that he would like to see her dolled up every once in a while... why not? For the sex part, twice a month is VERY little. Again, nothing to do with the home sband’s wondering eyes and rude comments, but I can’t imagine DH is happy with that little intimacy. BTW I also have little kids and currently pregnant with #3 so I get it. I always want to be comfortable and never have time to get my hair done. But if DH asked for something like that, I would try to do it right away.

So why does she have to put in the effort when she's not the one causing his creepy, unattractive behavior? Even if she does dress up, he's still going to continue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks, yes. I am not interested when he makes those comments so why would I ramp up our sex life? I would feel gross and know I deserve better. I am not unattractive and even notice men look at me and engage when out running errands etc.. Not often but enough to know that I still got it.

I have already done things like get new lingerie, get dolled up more, but can’t exactly throw on heels and short dress when my daily responsability is lugging around a toddler.

I decided to go to the party and will use that time as the perfect opportunity to call him out immediately (will pull him aside, of course). I am prepared to call an Uber and come home alone to make my point very clear.

if you're going to use the party to make a point.....make a point. When he starts up, go find some young hot stud and brazenly flirt with him in front of your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Plus, it also puts the responsibility for men's bad behavior on women. Not a fan of that.

Look I agree with you, but letting your hair grow and wearing hills once in a while is NOT a big deal. She should not do it so he will stop looking around, but because he misses seeing her like that. Is it bad if I ask my DH to wear a certain shirt one day that I like, or cut his hair or let his beard grow a little? I don’t think so. So why it’s bad to wear hills for a date night or get your hair done? She would just be showing that she still cares that he finds her attractive. I don’t think his wondering eyes have anything to do with what the wife wears or her hair lenght, but he expressed that he would like to see her dolled up every once in a while... why not? For the sex part, twice a month is VERY little. Again, nothing to do with the home sband’s wondering eyes and rude comments, but I can’t imagine DH is happy with that little intimacy. BTW I also have little kids and currently pregnant with #3 so I get it. I always want to be comfortable and never have time to get my hair done. But if DH asked for something like that, I would try to do it right away.
It took me a very long time to figure out what hills are in this post.

[Anonymous]

Op again, responding to last pp, yes, I do get all dolled up for date nights (they don’t come often-mostly because he works a lot). I do my hair, full on make up, heels, fitted dress etc.. I often get confused for being in my 20s when I am actually 40+.

Again, his comments are disrespectful and humiliating. The responsibility should fall on him to control himself rather than on me to look extra sexy all the time.

The holiday party will be the perfect opportunity to address this, assuming he does it again in front of me. Will be prepared to stand firm and even leave without him.

Raising it out of the blue will just make him angry and he’ll accuse me of picking a fight.

[Anonymous]

Sex twice per month is not enough for most men.

[Anonymous]

He clearly has a wandering eye and I wonder if this is a sign that with the right opportunity, he may cheat.

Yes, definitely. I'd start preparing for it and an eventual divorce. Very gross. I would not want to live this way.

[Anonymous]

Maybe Im too old at 49, but women in there 20's I often think they are in there teens. One friend was talking about some celeb he thought was hot. I told him wtf she looks 12.
I have noticed other women before don't get me wrong, but DW is the best imo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- When we do go out on date nights, yes, I get dolled up, wear form fitting dresses, make up, hair done etc.. I often get confused for a twenty something rather than 40+

The issue is that day to day, I cannot do that nor think I should have to. Curled lashes, foundation, blush and lipstick should be enough.

Yes, i work from home and don’tEven wear make up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

He clearly has a wandering eye and I wonder if this is a sign that with the right opportunity, he may cheat.

Yes, definitely. I'd start preparing for it and an eventual divorce. Very gross. I would not want to live this way.

I think there is a huge difference between making stupid and rude comments about women appearance and actually sleeping with other women