Why do some women have a high need for attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

Not the PP, but affirmation from unbiased third parties is probably a more objective reflection of how attractive you are. I mean, it's sweet of my mom to tell me I'm handsome, but if a lady on the street is making googly eyes at me, that's probably going to put more of a spring in my step.

Or you could just look in the mirror.

Why do you need others to validate your looks?

Not the PP you are responding to. I don’t need the attention, but I like it very much. It does not make my day, but it is nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absent father or narcissistic mother - personal opinion only.

This was my first thought as well. Basic needs weren’t met as a child.

This is very true in my situation.

OP, I was for many year like your friend. I craved male's attention regardless of their look, marriage status, etc.

My parents are still married but dad was never involved in upbringing and was not very warm; was absent from home a lot due to the work travel. My mom always worked full time, so I had very formal relations with her. We were expected perform well in school, play instruments, etc. But no one actually put any efforts into teaching us some social skills. I figured it out much later in life.

Thanks god I have a great husband now who meets all my needs and I no long have any need to seek any male attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I used to go out (I have 2 kids and currently pregnant with #3 so don’t go out much), I used to love male attention and I used to get it a lot. I don’t have any trauma, but I am very sexual and it feels/felt great to have a man wanting you. It’s not a competition for me. Also, somehow, I always got a lot of attention without trying...

Just curious. Was your father in the home? A workaholic? Affectionate or aloof? How would you describe your home life as a child? Was Mom around? Did any provider travel a lot, military? Maybe a childhood boyfriend that cheated and broke your heart while you were still a virgin?

No matter what, no judgment at all from me. Just curious. Is it possible some past experience (nurture) impacted this personality (nature)?

Nope to anything you mentioned. Have a great dad whom a had a great job and basically never drank. Mom worked and was successful, but still loving and present. Neither was a workaholic. I did have several boyfriends, but none broke up my heart. Some were sad breakups of course, but nobody betrayed me (that I am aware of). Some people are just more sexual than other and lead with their sexuality when they first meet someone. I think men can perhaps sense that and are attracted to that?
It does not hurt that people (men and women) regard me as very attractive and naturally fit, but I don’t think this is the reason why I get/got more attention when out

I think you are confusing getting attention with thriving on attention.

I get tons of attention, I don't really want the attentions. I get it... I'm good looking and sexy but I really don't appreciate the staring, I find it creepy... you find it self affirming. The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

I don’t find it creepy nor self affirming. I don’t NEED The attention and I don’t do anything to invite it (maybe I look a bit more in a certain direction). I would never do something like was mentioned above. However I am very sexual and I love the feeling of being close to a man that wants you. The tease and all that goes with it. I don’t mind men saying something on the street, but I don’t love it or care for it either. I am happily married and I don’t need anybody else’s attention to make me feel beautiful, but even with my husband I love feeling that he can’t keep his hands away from me... I don’t know if I am making sense. It has nothing to do with self affirmation and all to do with sex and sexuality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I used to go out (I have 2 kids and currently pregnant with #3 so don’t go out much), I used to love male attention and I used to get it a lot. I don’t have any trauma, but I am very sexual and it feels/felt great to have a man wanting you. It’s not a competition for me. Also, somehow, I always got a lot of attention without trying...

Just curious. Was your father in the home? A workaholic? Affectionate or aloof? How would you describe your home life as a child? Was Mom around? Did any provider travel a lot, military? Maybe a childhood boyfriend that cheated and broke your heart while you were still a virgin?

No matter what, no judgment at all from me. Just curious. Is it possible some past experience (nurture) impacted this personality (nature)?

Nope to anything you mentioned. Have a great dad whom a had a great job and basically never drank. Mom worked and was successful, but still loving and present. Neither was a workaholic. I did have several boyfriends, but none broke up my heart. Some were sad breakups of course, but nobody betrayed me (that I am aware of). Some people are just more sexual than other and lead with their sexuality when they first meet someone. I think men can perhaps sense that and are attracted to that?
It does not hurt that people (men and women) regard me as very attractive and naturally fit, but I don’t think this is the reason why I get/got more attention when out

I think you are confusing getting attention with thriving on attention.

I get tons of attention, I don't really want the attentions. I get it... I'm good looking and sexy but I really don't appreciate the staring, I find it creepy... you find it self affirming. The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

I don’t find it creepy nor self affirming. I don’t NEED The attention and I don’t do anything to invite it (maybe I look a bit more in a certain direction). I would never do something like was mentioned above. However I am very sexual and I love the feeling of being close to a man that wants you. The tease and all that goes with it. I don’t mind men saying something on the street, but I don’t love it or care for it either. I am happily married and I don’t need anybody else’s attention to make me feel beautiful, but even with my husband I love feeling that he can’t keep his hands away from me... I don’t know if I am making sense. It has nothing to do with self affirmation and all to do with sex and sexuality

can you tell us a few examples of what you do/did that get/got you the attentions?

[Anonymous]

Everyone likes attention, no exceptions. Pretending otherwise is hilarious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

Not the PP, but affirmation from unbiased third parties is probably a more objective reflection of how attractive you are. I mean, it's sweet of my mom to tell me I'm handsome, but if a lady on the street is making googly eyes at me, that's probably going to put more of a spring in my step.

Or you could just look in the mirror.

Why do you need others to validate your looks?

Not the PP you are responding to. I don’t need the attention, but I like it very much. It does not make my day, but it is nice.

That is not the question, the question was why do some women <men> have high need for attention.

The questions is not why do you like a random compliment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone likes attention, no exceptions. Pretending otherwise is hilarious

A compliment is nice, oogling is not .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I used to go out (I have 2 kids and currently pregnant with #3 so don’t go out much), I used to love male attention and I used to get it a lot. I don’t have any trauma, but I am very sexual and it feels/felt great to have a man wanting you. It’s not a competition for me. Also, somehow, I always got a lot of attention without trying...

Just curious. Was your father in the home? A workaholic? Affectionate or aloof? How would you describe your home life as a child? Was Mom around? Did any provider travel a lot, military? Maybe a childhood boyfriend that cheated and broke your heart while you were still a virgin?

No matter what, no judgment at all from me. Just curious. Is it possible some past experience (nurture) impacted this personality (nature)?

Nope to anything you mentioned. Have a great dad whom a had a great job and basically never drank. Mom worked and was successful, but still loving and present. Neither was a workaholic. I did have several boyfriends, but none broke up my heart. Some were sad breakups of course, but nobody betrayed me (that I am aware of). Some people are just more sexual than other and lead with their sexuality when they first meet someone. I think men can perhaps sense that and are attracted to that?
It does not hurt that people (men and women) regard me as very attractive and naturally fit, but I don’t think this is the reason why I get/got more attention when out

I think you are confusing getting attention with thriving on attention.

I get tons of attention, I don't really want the attentions. I get it... I'm good looking and sexy but I really don't appreciate the staring, I find it creepy... you find it self affirming. The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

I don’t find it creepy nor self affirming. I don’t NEED The attention and I don’t do anything to invite it (maybe I look a bit more in a certain direction). I would never do something like was mentioned above. However I am very sexual and I love the feeling of being close to a man that wants you. The tease and all that goes with it. I don’t mind men saying something on the street, but I don’t love it or care for it either. I am happily married and I don’t need anybody else’s attention to make me feel beautiful, but even with my husband I love feeling that he can’t keep his hands away from me... I don’t know if I am making sense. It has nothing to do with self affirmation and all to do with sex and sexuality

Why are you answering the question? The question is "high need for attention". Me thinks you are higher need than you think. This thread is not about you, or is it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I used to go out (I have 2 kids and currently pregnant with #3 so don’t go out much), I used to love male attention and I used to get it a lot. I don’t have any trauma, but I am very sexual and it feels/felt great to have a man wanting you. It’s not a competition for me. Also, somehow, I always got a lot of attention without trying...

Just curious. Was your father in the home? A workaholic? Affectionate or aloof? How would you describe your home life as a child? Was Mom around? Did any provider travel a lot, military? Maybe a childhood boyfriend that cheated and broke your heart while you were still a virgin?

No matter what, no judgment at all from me. Just curious. Is it possible some past experience (nurture) impacted this personality (nature)?

Nope to anything you mentioned. Have a great dad whom a had a great job and basically never drank. Mom worked and was successful, but still loving and present. Neither was a workaholic. I did have several boyfriends, but none broke up my heart. Some were sad breakups of course, but nobody betrayed me (that I am aware of). Some people are just more sexual than other and lead with their sexuality when they first meet someone. I think men can perhaps sense that and are attracted to that?
It does not hurt that people (men and women) regard me as very attractive and naturally fit, but I don’t think this is the reason why I get/got more attention when out

I think you are confusing getting attention with thriving on attention.

I get tons of attention, I don't really want the attentions. I get it... I'm good looking and sexy but I really don't appreciate the staring, I find it creepy... you find it self affirming. The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

I don’t find it creepy nor self affirming. I don’t NEED The attention and I don’t do anything to invite it (maybe I look a bit more in a certain direction). I would never do something like was mentioned above. However I am very sexual and I love the feeling of being close to a man that wants you. The tease and all that goes with it. I don’t mind men saying something on the street, but I don’t love it or care for it either. I am happily married and I don’t need anybody else’s attention to make me feel beautiful, but even with my husband I love feeling that he can’t keep his hands away from me... I don’t know if I am making sense. It has nothing to do with self affirmation and all to do with sex and sexuality

can you tell us a few examples of what you do/did that get/got you the attentions?

I dressed nice (sexy, but not slutty) and I didn’t look away when a man looked at me. If a man that I liked approached me and I was single I would talk and flirt. When I started dating my current DH, I would tell right away. I am always polite and I try to never be bitchy even if I don’t like the guy. I am always honest and never cheated (not in my adult life anyway). I never waste a guy’s time. If a guy starts dancing with me and I don’t like him, I move away from him; if I like him I move closer to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I used to go out (I have 2 kids and currently pregnant with #3 so don’t go out much), I used to love male attention and I used to get it a lot. I don’t have any trauma, but I am very sexual and it feels/felt great to have a man wanting you. It’s not a competition for me. Also, somehow, I always got a lot of attention without trying...

Just curious. Was your father in the home? A workaholic? Affectionate or aloof? How would you describe your home life as a child? Was Mom around? Did any provider travel a lot, military? Maybe a childhood boyfriend that cheated and broke your heart while you were still a virgin?

No matter what, no judgment at all from me. Just curious. Is it possible some past experience (nurture) impacted this personality (nature)?

Nope to anything you mentioned. Have a great dad whom a had a great job and basically never drank. Mom worked and was successful, but still loving and present. Neither was a workaholic. I did have several boyfriends, but none broke up my heart. Some were sad breakups of course, but nobody betrayed me (that I am aware of). Some people are just more sexual than other and lead with their sexuality when they first meet someone. I think men can perhaps sense that and are attracted to that?
It does not hurt that people (men and women) regard me as very attractive and naturally fit, but I don’t think this is the reason why I get/got more attention when out

I think you are confusing getting attention with thriving on attention.

I get tons of attention, I don't really want the attentions. I get it... I'm good looking and sexy but I really don't appreciate the staring, I find it creepy... you find it self affirming. The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

I don’t find it creepy nor self affirming. I don’t NEED The attention and I don’t do anything to invite it (maybe I look a bit more in a certain direction). I would never do something like was mentioned above. However I am very sexual and I love the feeling of being close to a man that wants you. The tease and all that goes with it. I don’t mind men saying something on the street, but I don’t love it or care for it either. I am happily married and I don’t need anybody else’s attention to make me feel beautiful, but even with my husband I love feeling that he can’t keep his hands away from me... I don’t know if I am making sense. It has nothing to do with self affirmation and all to do with sex and sexuality

Why are you answering the question? The question is "high need for attention". Me thinks you are higher need than you think. This thread is not about you, or is it.

Because some of the women I know, find it annoing when a guy comes up to talk to us. Some of them (usually the ones that don’t get much attention) always have bitchy answers for the guys that come close to us, etc. I can see how one of them might say that I live the attention because I am more polite and if i liked tithe guy I would flirt back. Some women might find my behavior annoying...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I dressed nice (sexy, but not slutty) and I didn’t look away when a man looked at me. If a man that I liked approached me and I was single I would talk and flirt. When I started dating my current DH, I would tell right away. I am always polite and I try to never be bitchy even if I don’t like the guy. I am always honest and never cheated (not in my adult life anyway). I never waste a guy’s time. If a guy starts dancing with me and I don’t like him, I move away from him; if I like him I move closer to him.

What were you doing as a child that constituted cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I dressed nice (sexy, but not slutty) and I didn’t look away when a man looked at me. If a man that I liked approached me and I was single I would talk and flirt. When I started dating my current DH, I would tell right away. I am always polite and I try to never be bitchy even if I don’t like the guy. I am always honest and never cheated (not in my adult life anyway). I never waste a guy’s time. If a guy starts dancing with me and I don’t like him, I move away from him; if I like him I move closer to him.

What were you doing as a child that constituted cheating?

NP. High school cheating, probably.

[Anonymous]

low self esteem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I dressed nice (sexy, but not slutty) and I didn’t look away when a man looked at me. If a man that I liked approached me and I was single I would talk and flirt. When I started dating my current DH, I would tell right away. I am always polite and I try to never be bitchy even if I don’t like the guy. I am always honest and never cheated (not in my adult life anyway). I never waste a guy’s time. If a guy starts dancing with me and I don’t like him, I move away from him; if I like him I move closer to him.

What were you doing as a child that constituted cheating?

NP. High school cheating, probably.

Yes, I had a boyfriend for 2-3 years in high school and during the summer I usually traveled and dated other people (as did he).