Why do some women have a high need for attention?

[Anonymous]

PP again. I just realized the question was specific to male attention. I do think this often is rooted in some form of male trauma, neglect, abuse, etc. A coping mechanism for some things going on they may or may not be aware of.

[Anonymous]

Insecurity
Bad relationship with father and/or husband

[Anonymous]

When I used to go out (I have 2 kids and currently pregnant with #3 so don’t go out much), I used to love male attention and I used to get it a lot. I don’t have any trauma, but I am very sexual and it feels/felt great to have a man wanting you. It’s not a competition for me. Also, somehow, I always got a lot of attention without trying...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I used to go out (I have 2 kids and currently pregnant with #3 so don’t go out much), I used to love male attention and I used to get it a lot. I don’t have any trauma, but I am very sexual and it feels/felt great to have a man wanting you. It’s not a competition for me. Also, somehow, I always got a lot of attention without trying...

Just curious. Was your father in the home? A workaholic? Affectionate or aloof? How would you describe your home life as a child? Was Mom around? Did any provider travel a lot, military? Maybe a childhood boyfriend that cheated and broke your heart while you were still a virgin?

No matter what, no judgment at all from me. Just curious. Is it possible some past experience (nurture) impacted this personality (nature)?

[Anonymous]

Why do some men have a high need for attention?

Because some humans are needy and have high needs for attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think ALL do. It's planted in women by thousands of years of evolution.

I don't think it's evolution. I think it's internalization of patriarchy that's probably more of a by-product of the agricultural revolution -- so about 12,000 years.

Of course you do. Lol

[Anonymous]

Narcissistic mother pushing favorite child to be a catch. Took scuba lessons with one and she literally grabbed her bikinied breasts in her hands and waved them in a male instructor’s face while exclaiming loudly, “I don’t know why I can’t sink! I guess I’m too much a floater!”. Not the term I was thinking, but whatever floats your boat lady.

[Anonymous]

Wow, some really harsh comments. Women are cruel to each other.

Wanting opposite sex attention and validation seems completely normal, indeed it would be abnormal to be so asexual you had no care in the world what others thought. It's just a matter of degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve all got those friends in our circle. They love male attention and are often over the top in how they go about getting it.

No name calling or negative posts please - I’d really like to understand.

Why not ask the friends in your circle why they need attention and are so over the top in pursuit of it?

Because I don’t want to offend them and I’m not sure they’d have an answer.

Look at it this way. Let's say you had friends in your circle who were alcoholics and wanted to understand.
Well...some people turn to alcohol to relieve stress. Some people began drinking at an early age and developed an alcohol problem or a physical dependence on alcohol as they get older. Some people turn to alcohol when feeling anxious or depressed. Some people have a parent or other relative who was an alcoholic.
In other words there are a number of factors/reasons as to why some people are alcoholics - varies from individual to individual.
Same rule of thumb applies to excessive attention seeking behavior - varies from individual to individual.
If you want to truly understand what issues/factors are the at the root of your friends behavior then you need to ask those individuals.
If you're truly a friend then offending them is the last thing you should be worried about. Helping them should be your main motivation.

OP here: Thanks for the reply.

I don’t see their need for attention as something that needs to be treated - it’s just part of their personality.

NP, but the above still holds true. Some women were ignored by their dads when they were younger. Some women saw their dads distance themselves from their mom and they crave male attention. Some women had really close relationships with their dads and therefore crave the same from all men. Some have husbands who hate them and they want to make them jealous. Everyone is different. You're not going to get the RIGHT answer by asking DCUM, if you really do care about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I used to go out (I have 2 kids and currently pregnant with #3 so don’t go out much), I used to love male attention and I used to get it a lot. I don’t have any trauma, but I am very sexual and it feels/felt great to have a man wanting you. It’s not a competition for me. Also, somehow, I always got a lot of attention without trying...

Just curious. Was your father in the home? A workaholic? Affectionate or aloof? How would you describe your home life as a child? Was Mom around? Did any provider travel a lot, military? Maybe a childhood boyfriend that cheated and broke your heart while you were still a virgin?

No matter what, no judgment at all from me. Just curious. Is it possible some past experience (nurture) impacted this personality (nature)?

Nope to anything you mentioned. Have a great dad whom a had a great job and basically never drank. Mom worked and was successful, but still loving and present. Neither was a workaholic. I did have several boyfriends, but none broke up my heart. Some were sad breakups of course, but nobody betrayed me (that I am aware of). Some people are just more sexual than other and lead with their sexuality when they first meet someone. I think men can perhaps sense that and are attracted to that?
It does not hurt that people (men and women) regard me as very attractive and naturally fit, but I don’t think this is the reason why I get/got more attention when out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve all got those friends in our circle. They love male attention and are often over the top in how they go about getting it.

No name calling or negative posts please - I’d really like to understand.

my husband things everything requires too much attn of him, even his reliable toyota he forgets to get oil changes for every couple years.

what magnitude of attention-seeking are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I used to go out (I have 2 kids and currently pregnant with #3 so don’t go out much), I used to love male attention and I used to get it a lot. I don’t have any trauma, but I am very sexual and it feels/felt great to have a man wanting you. It’s not a competition for me. Also, somehow, I always got a lot of attention without trying...

Just curious. Was your father in the home? A workaholic? Affectionate or aloof? How would you describe your home life as a child? Was Mom around? Did any provider travel a lot, military? Maybe a childhood boyfriend that cheated and broke your heart while you were still a virgin?

No matter what, no judgment at all from me. Just curious. Is it possible some past experience (nurture) impacted this personality (nature)?

Nope to anything you mentioned. Have a great dad whom a had a great job and basically never drank. Mom worked and was successful, but still loving and present. Neither was a workaholic. I did have several boyfriends, but none broke up my heart. Some were sad breakups of course, but nobody betrayed me (that I am aware of). Some people are just more sexual than other and lead with their sexuality when they first meet someone. I think men can perhaps sense that and are attracted to that?
It does not hurt that people (men and women) regard me as very attractive and naturally fit, but I don’t think this is the reason why I get/got more attention when out

I think you are confusing getting attention with thriving on attention.

I get tons of attention, I don't really want the attentions. I get it... I'm good looking and sexy but I really don't appreciate the staring, I find it creepy... you find it self affirming. The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

Not the PP, but affirmation from unbiased third parties is probably a more objective reflection of how attractive you are. I mean, it's sweet of my mom to tell me I'm handsome, but if a lady on the street is making googly eyes at me, that's probably going to put more of a spring in my step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The question is why do you like to get your affirmations from strangers.

Not the PP, but affirmation from unbiased third parties is probably a more objective reflection of how attractive you are. I mean, it's sweet of my mom to tell me I'm handsome, but if a lady on the street is making googly eyes at me, that's probably going to put more of a spring in my step.

Or you could just look in the mirror.

Why do you need others to validate your looks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Narcissistic mother pushing favorite child to be a catch. Took scuba lessons with one and she literally grabbed her bikinied breasts in her hands and waved them in a male instructor’s face while exclaiming loudly, “I don’t know why I can’t sink! I guess I’m too much a floater!”. Not the term I was thinking, but whatever floats your boat lady.

that's one way to get help w your buoyancy. make fun of your boobs in PADI class. classy lady. prob the type who bangs her tank against the reef and bottom since she can't figure out her body or buoyancy. My kids to scuba classes to avoid relying on divers like her.