Are partners in a marriage entitled to sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the wife owe her husband sex even if she’s not in the mood for it?

Does the husband owe her mongamy even if he’s not in the mood for it?

PP that is a different question. When you marry you are supposed to "forsake all others" so my advice would be don't get married if you plan on cheating.

To the op:

No, one is not entitled to sex just because you want it. Marry a robot if you want a servant and not a partner OR be a better partner so she wants it.

My advice to you would be don’t get married if you plan on rejecting sex AND expect him to continue forsaking all others. These 2 are incompatible.

Please don't act like we are talking about me. I was answering the op's question. I also never said that the wife should never have sex just that it wasn't an obligation every time the dh wanted it. It is her body too. If DH didn't want to be faithful than they could have remained single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once entitlement enters the conversation, there’s a major problem already.

It goes beyond consent.

If my partner does not enthusiastically share his or her body with me, there is a problem. But there is also a problem if I prize my own sexual gratification above my partner’s ownership of his or her body and enthusiasm to share it with me.

My grandmother taught me to never eat a meal cooked with resentment. I’ve applied the same to sex. I offered duty sex in my first marriage. When I divorced, I decided I would never do that again. My second marriage is much happier. In part because sex is not a currency or commodity.

So, you found someone with a similar drive. Good

It was never a drive issue. I became repulsed by my first H for a variety of reasons. It’s one thing to have no drive and turn down your spouse. It’s another thing to yearn for pleasure and then have your flesh creep at someone’s touch. I even tried getting drunk to get through duty sex. Toward the end, I think he got off on seeing how revolted, sad, and frustrated I was. My not wanting to refuse him sex have him a terrible power over me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once entitlement enters the conversation, there’s a major problem already.

It goes beyond consent.

If my partner does not enthusiastically share his or her body with me, there is a problem. But there is also a problem if I prize my own sexual gratification above my partner’s ownership of his or her body and enthusiasm to share it with me.

My grandmother taught me to never eat a meal cooked with resentment. I’ve applied the same to sex. I offered duty sex in my first marriage. When I divorced, I decided I would never do that again. My second marriage is much happier. In part because sex is not a currency or commodity.

So, you found someone with a similar drive. Good

It was never a drive issue. I became repulsed by my first H for a variety of reasons. It’s one thing to have no drive and turn down your spouse. It’s another thing to yearn for pleasure and then have your flesh creep at someone’s touch. I even tried getting drunk to get through duty sex. Toward the end, I think he got off on seeing how revolted, sad, and frustrated I was. My not wanting to refuse him sex have him a terrible power over me.

Glad that you were both able to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. The only thing you're entitled to is deciding no sex is a deal breaker, and you may leave. The idea that a spouse is entitled to sex tracks along the same thinking that you cannot rape your spouse.

Close, but SHE may leave. She's the one breaking the vows and abandoning the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once entitlement enters the conversation, there’s a major problem already.

It goes beyond consent.

If my partner does not enthusiastically share his or her body with me, there is a problem. But there is also a problem if I prize my own sexual gratification above my partner’s ownership of his or her body and enthusiasm to share it with me.

My grandmother taught me to never eat a meal cooked with resentment. I’ve applied the same to sex. I offered duty sex in my first marriage. When I divorced, I decided I would never do that again. My second marriage is much happier. In part because sex is not a currency or commodity.

So, you found someone with a similar drive. Good

It was never a drive issue. I became repulsed by my first H for a variety of reasons. It’s one thing to have no drive and turn down your spouse. It’s another thing to yearn for pleasure and then have your flesh creep at someone’s touch. I even tried getting drunk to get through duty sex. Toward the end, I think he got off on seeing how revolted, sad, and frustrated I was. My not wanting to refuse him sex have him a terrible power over me.

Glad that you were both able to move on.

So am I. Divorce is not necessarily the worst thing that can happen to a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not every moment but in general yes, that's the deal.

Yeah, I think that each partner needs to make a commitment to try to have regular sex. If one can't, they really need to communicate why and see if they can problem solve.

But every single sex act must be consensual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once entitlement enters the conversation, there’s a major problem already.

It goes beyond consent.

If my partner does not enthusiastically share his or her body with me, there is a problem. But there is also a problem if I prize my own sexual gratification above my partner’s ownership of his or her body and enthusiasm to share it with me.

My grandmother taught me to never eat a meal cooked with resentment. I’ve applied the same to sex. I offered duty sex in my first marriage. When I divorced, I decided I would never do that again. My second marriage is much happier. In part because sex is not a currency or commodity.

So, you found someone with a similar drive. Good

It was never a drive issue. I became repulsed by my first H for a variety of reasons. It’s one thing to have no drive and turn down your spouse. It’s another thing to yearn for pleasure and then have your flesh creep at someone’s touch. I even tried getting drunk to get through duty sex. Toward the end, I think he got off on seeing how revolted, sad, and frustrated I was. My not wanting to refuse him sex have him a terrible power over me.

Glad that you were both able to move on.

+1 and it sounds like your grandma was very wise and taught you well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does the wife owe her husband sex even if she’s not in the mood for it?

Yes, just like the husband owes the wife sex. Equality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not every moment but in general yes, that's the deal.

This. Without sex, why get married? You’re just friends. I don’t f*** my friends even though I could probably live under the same roof or even parent kids with them. This is a stupid question.

[Anonymous]

Yes, to a degree.
- woman

[Anonymous]

When I had to get drunk to have sex with him I realized the marriage was over. I'm now divorced and have a much better partner in and out of bed.

[Anonymous]

If you have to ask then then answer is no.

[Anonymous]

No and that’s why I have an AP

[Anonymous]

Of course not. What an ignorant question. Yes, you can be prosecuted for marital rape.

The problem with your post, OP, is the word "entitled," but you knew that.

[Anonymous]

Married 26 years. There's been times when I did not want to have sex but I relented. Half through, I forgot that I didn't want it. lol

If you are saying no constantly, you're essentially telling your spouse to go elsewhere.