Are partners in a marriage entitled to sex?

[Anonymous]

Enough people don't divorce over this, they just cheat instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the wife owe her husband sex even if she’s not in the mood for it?

Does the husband owe her mongamy even if he’s not in the mood for it?

If he wasn't interested in monogamy for life then he shouldn't have gotten married. That's kind of the point of getting married. And it's in most people's vows - "to forsake all others".

Most people don't have "to always have regular sex with my husband no matter how he treats me or no matter what life throws at us" in their vows.

But I agree that it's not ideal and usually a sign of deeper issues.

As I noted above, PP, I think most people have agreed to just that in their vows. It's not "forsaking all others as long as she puts out regularly." Similarly, it's not "keep thee only unto him when times are good."

If you don't want to have sex with your husband any longer, you should leave him or open the marriage.

[Anonymous]

If monogamy is expected then yes, although one has a right to say not tonight if it's a legit reason.

In reality, people neglect the sexual relationship, which is why infidelity is so common

[Anonymous]

Once entitlement enters the conversation, there’s a major problem already.

It goes beyond consent.

If my partner does not enthusiastically share his or her body with me, there is a problem. But there is also a problem if I prize my own sexual gratification above my partner’s ownership of his or her body and enthusiasm to share it with me.

My grandmother taught me to never eat a meal cooked with resentment. I’ve applied the same to sex. I offered duty sex in my first marriage. When I divorced, I decided I would never do that again. My second marriage is much happier. In part because sex is not a currency or commodity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if said spouse gained 50 lbs?

Which comes first, the weight gain or the rejection?

Anyway, the answer is still yes. However, you can hold out for frequent sex as a reward for losing weight. How about a baseline of sex twice a week, but every week he loses a pound earns a reward of another encounter, or bj, or role playing, etc?

NP. I don't even think that would work. DH doesn't want sex with me THAT much, I'm sure.
Sure would be nice though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the wife owe her husband sex even if she’s not in the mood for it?

Does the husband owe her mongamy even if he’s not in the mood for it?

PP that is a different question. When you marry you are supposed to "forsake all others" so my advice would be don't get married if you plan on cheating.

To the op:

No, one is not entitled to sex just because you want it. Marry a robot if you want a servant and not a partner OR be a better partner so she wants it.

My advice to you would be don’t get married if you plan on rejecting sex AND expect him to continue forsaking all others. These 2 are incompatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if said spouse gained 50 lbs?

Which comes first, the weight gain or the rejection?

Anyway, the answer is still yes. However, you can hold out for frequent sex as a reward for losing weight. How about a baseline of sex twice a week, but every week he loses a pound earns a reward of another encounter, or bj, or role playing, etc?

NP. I don't even think that would work. DH doesn't want sex with me THAT much, I'm sure.
Sure would be nice though.

NP here. As a man, I believe that your DH probably does want sex with you that much, but he has given up hope of having it and has given up on himself. Seduce him. Show him what's possible. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for my late wife when sex was the reward.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

Not in demand, but a life without sex, or hardly ever having sex is a violation of the marriage agreeemnt.

[Anonymous]

No. The only thing you're entitled to is deciding no sex is a deal breaker, and you may leave. The idea that a spouse is entitled to sex tracks along the same thinking that you cannot rape your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If monogamy is expected then yes, although one has a right to say not tonight if it's a legit reason.

In reality, people neglect the sexual relationship, which is why infidelity is so common

And if the reason is not legit? Is there a legal requirement to lay back and think of England? Or are you merely giving your permission for a couple to have sex or to abstain? I for one don’t want the permission or approval of anyone except my wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. The only thing you're entitled to is deciding no sex is a deal breaker, and you may leave. The idea that a spouse is entitled to sex tracks along the same thinking that you cannot rape your spouse.

Nonsense. You should not get married if you truly believe this. The marriage compact is an agreement to have sex with and only with your spouse. If you force a sexless marriage on your spouse, you have broken your vows.

This type of thinking shifts the blame for infidelity to the spouse who, out of desperation, seeks sexual intimacy outside of the marriage, when, in fact, the blame should fall squarely on the spouse who broke their vows first by forcing a sexless marriage.

[Anonymous]

Questions like this make me feel old. Like, no one over the age of 30 understood marriage as a non sexual relationship. I suppose the kids are far more open to non monogamy which could in theory work in a non sexual marriage.

Hopefully, the kids aren't as thick as those religious folks who think celibacy actually happens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once entitlement enters the conversation, there’s a major problem already.

It goes beyond consent.

If my partner does not enthusiastically share his or her body with me, there is a problem. But there is also a problem if I prize my own sexual gratification above my partner’s ownership of his or her body and enthusiasm to share it with me.

My grandmother taught me to never eat a meal cooked with resentment. I’ve applied the same to sex. I offered duty sex in my first marriage. When I divorced, I decided I would never do that again. My second marriage is much happier. In part because sex is not a currency or commodity.

So, you found someone with a similar drive. Good

[Anonymous]

Absolutely.....but not on demand. If one partner has no interest in sex with the other partner on an on-going basis then a hall pass should be granted or a divorce.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I'm entitled to it but I can't imagine my marriage being as good as it is if it was completely shut because of a lack of interest.