boring conversations with DH

[Anonymous]

I guess those would talk about the GLORY DAYS in their early 20s.. heh heh.

[Anonymous]

I can see why you are frustrated with the repeated conversations. If it were me, I would need to include a variety of topics that surfaced during the day. But if your husband is like most men, his work defines much of who he is. Men can be consumed with it way beyond what we think is normal and acceptable. I'm not condoning it or saying that's an ok thing, but I do understand the makeup of a man and why they place so much value in who they are because of their work involvement.

I always believed the marriage relationship should take priority over jobs, but sadly that doesn't always happen.

You asked for a non-insulting way to get him to change the subject. He may not want to change at first, until he fully realizes the impact it has on you. This is where you can help him comprehend that your marriage cannot thrive within the confines of the same conversation day in and day out. https://bit.ly/2JZnkZA Hopefully he'll pick up on the obvious and do something about it.

How about something simple like agreeing to give each other equal time for discussing topics of importance, no matter what they are. Start simple. Make a promise you will both contribute to the conversation. Maybe after a while he will see how limited he has been.

I think your husband will need a reason to want to change. And strengthening the marriage relationship is always a good reason. Find out what he's thinking, and is he aware how this topic dominates all others. I know there is a risk laying your heart on the table. You don't know what he will do with it and you don't want to get hurt. Pray and ask God to help you arrange a time when his heart will open and will really be able to hear what you are saying.

[Anonymous]

What drives me crazy is when my DH will start telling me about some piece of news he just watched/read, and he'll basically go on and on recounting the story. Unfortunately, summing up the gist isn't his strong suit. I don't know why he doesn't just e-mail me the link when he's reading it, and then we can discuss, instead of him presenting a lecture on what he article said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What drives me crazy is when my DH will start telling me about some piece of news he just watched/read, and he'll basically go on and on recounting the story. Unfortunately, summing up the gist isn't his strong suit. I don't know why he doesn't just e-mail me the link when he's reading it, and then we can discuss, instead of him presenting a lecture on what he article said.

Ugh, yes! And my DH is obsessed with the weather. I get calls and texts throughout the day with weather reports, and he'll tell me what his five weather apps are saying...what radar shows...the temperature is... And lord help the forecasters if they don't get the forecast right, I have to hear that..."it wasn't supposed to rain today! They got it wrong once again!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you guys know Myers Briggs? You married “S”’s- into the every day, less theoretical scheduling type of talk. In the US, they’re about 75% of the population. Nothing at all wrong with S’s, but often they’re not going to be the ones bringing up the latest piece in the New Yorker.

Look for Ns in the office or other areas of your life to help fill that need- one person can’t give you everything.

Myers-Briggs is complete b.s. The results change every time someone takes the quiz. If I hear someone spouting off about MB, I immediately lose respect for them. (And I know you are now going to tell me what MB type I am from my post. I hate you even more.)

[Anonymous]

All people have certain topics they most like to discuss. My DH is really into the stock market and frequent discusses the day's stock news. Its boring to me but I just murmur "uh huh" occasionally and its fine. Just tune him out.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I work in totally different fields. When he talks about his work day all I hear is "blah blah blah" I cannot comprehend what he's saying even after 14 years!! But I just pretend to listen and understand and repeat key words so as to engage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All people have certain topics they most like to discuss. My DH is really into the stock market and frequent discusses the day's stock news. Its boring to me but I just murmur "uh huh" occasionally and its fine. Just tune him out.

This is me -- outside of work, my interest is finance/markets. Though I do realize it bores people and don't discuss it for more than 45 seconds at a time. I'm a woman and have never found a woman interested in discussing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All people have certain topics they most like to discuss. My DH is really into the stock market and frequent discusses the day's stock news. Its boring to me but I just murmur "uh huh" occasionally and its fine. Just tune him out.

This is me -- outside of work, my interest is finance/markets. Though I do realize it bores people and don't discuss it for more than 45 seconds at a time. I'm a woman and have never found a woman interested in discussing this.

I'm a woman who loves discussing it!! My DH has zero interest, his only interest in finance is playing the lottery and complaining I ordered an entree that costs $5 more than his did.

[Anonymous]

Once my DH gets home from work he rarely wants to talk about it nor does he do much work at home even though he's a CEO. He really believes in leaving work at the office which is fine by me. He's fairly quiet but we both like the PBS Newshour and that usually leads to pretty good discussions. But like most people our conversations are pretty vanilla about our kids, projects, near term plans and pf course gossip!

[Anonymous]

For me, it's that DW just doesn't care at all about me, or what I'm thinking or feeling. It's all about her toxic job, or the kids. She hates everyone and is mad at the world. And if I even try to talk about something else, she finds a way to interrupt or derail the conversation. "Oooh look at that ..."

I've basically given up. It's crushing, knowing that this is what's left. This is the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you always interesting? I’m sure your DH gets bored of listening to you at times, too.

[Anonymous]

A bit of a tangent, but I wonder what really interesting people talk about. The Obamas at dinner, or Beyonce and Jay Z or George and Amal Clooney. Do they also bore each other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH never tells me this stuff! I have to pull it out of him. I think he thinks it's akin to "gossiping" and is distasteful behavior.

Maybe he's right but the flip side is, I rarely feel like I really know what's going on with him at work.

Unless he is banging the secretary do you really care? Even jobs that are interesting, challenging, cool etc. are a just a job/career that you do to make money. I will make around 750 this year and honestly don’t see a reason to go home and talk about work. It is a means to end nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH never tells me this stuff! I have to pull it out of him. I think he thinks it's akin to "gossiping" and is distasteful behavior.

Maybe he's right but the flip side is, I rarely feel like I really know what's going on with him at work.

Unless he is banging the secretary do you really care? Even jobs that are interesting, challenging, cool etc. are a just a job/career that you do to make money. I will make around 750 this year and honestly don’t see a reason to go home and talk about work. It is a means to end nothing more.

What do you do for a living?
My wife complains that I don’t tell her enough about my day at work and I feel the same as you - why would she care about that?