Can’t attend best friend’s DD’s bat-mitzvah: how much $ to give as gift?

[Anonymous]

and not "bra" typing too fast.

[Anonymous]

We have never given more than $108 even for close family members. We are in LA and this seems to be the norm for our synagogue. Our nephew had his bar mitzvah a few months ago and he got $108 from us, and my sons got around $36 from close friends and $72-108 from closer relatives. For family and friends that live overseas, we usually got material gifts rather than money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

I disagree. I think it is bigoted and absolutely accurate.

I would agree that that is the mindset of Midwesterners being one myself, but it isn't about being cheap. It is about both valuing the correct things (people not money) and recognizing that no child of 13 needs a gift of that size for any occasion. It is vulgar especially in conjunction with a ceremony that is supposed to one that is a celebration of the spiritual.

I don't think you truly understand what a bar/bat mitzvah is. You're just pulling excuses out of your ass to justify your cheap, Midwestern ways of thinking. It's not vulgar. Kids put this money away for college - nobody's blowing it on Starbucks.

So wait, please clarify: Is this a celebration of a religious milestone or a go fund me for college? You don't have to agree with me but I am of the opinion as are many others that it is vulgar to raise children both with the expectation that people are to just give them money and that their sacred religious milestone is essentially a money grab.

[Anonymous]

There's no way anyone is taking home more than the event costs - it's a religious milestone, and your suggestion that it is a money-grab is offensive.

For some perspective:. Our event (at a restaurant) for 150 people (large, easy coast family) cost $27k and the kid ended up with $6k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

I disagree. I think it is bigoted and absolutely accurate.

I would agree that that is the mindset of Midwesterners being one myself, but it isn't about being cheap. It is about both valuing the correct things (people not money) and recognizing that no child of 13 needs a gift of that size for any occasion. It is vulgar especially in conjunction with a ceremony that is supposed to one that is a celebration of the spiritual.

I don't think you truly understand what a bar/bat mitzvah is. You're just pulling excuses out of your ass to justify your cheap, Midwestern ways of thinking. It's not vulgar. Kids put this money away for college - nobody's blowing it on Starbucks.

What did the Midwesterners do to you?I have known many eastern natives pull out a 5 dollar bill and give it to the child being celebrated and I have also seen people from the Midwest give $500.
All you are doing is insulting Midwesterners just because they came from the midwest,then making anyone else that's not you look like an idiot.I can tell your the kind of person that would sell their own children if it made anyone other than you look bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

I disagree. I think it is bigoted and absolutely accurate.

I would agree that that is the mindset of Midwesterners being one myself, but it isn't about being cheap. It is about both valuing the correct things (people not money) and recognizing that no child of 13 needs a gift of that size for any occasion. It is vulgar especially in conjunction with a ceremony that is supposed to one that is a celebration of the spiritual.

I don't think you truly understand what a bar/bat mitzvah is. You're just pulling excuses out of your ass to justify your cheap, Midwestern ways of thinking. It's not vulgar. Kids put this money away for college - nobody's blowing it on Starbucks.

What did the Midwesterners do to you?I have known many eastern natives pull out a 5 dollar bill and give it to the child being celebrated and I have also seen people from the Midwest give $500.
All you are doing is insulting Midwesterners just because they came from the midwest,then making anyone else that's not you look like an idiot.I can tell your the kind of person that would sell their own children if it made anyone other than you look bad.

,Being from the midwest,I agree.This person is being a hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no way anyone is taking home more than the event costs - it's a religious milestone, and your suggestion that it is a money-grab is offensive.

For some perspective:. Our event (at a restaurant) for 150 people (large, easy coast family) cost $27k and the kid ended up with $6k.

$30 K for a party for a 13 year old is unseemly. Asking your friends for money when spending $30K for a party for a 13 year old also unseemly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

I disagree. I think it is bigoted and absolutely accurate.

I would agree that that is the mindset of Midwesterners being one myself, but it isn't about being cheap. It is about both valuing the correct things (people not money) and recognizing that no child of 13 needs a gift of that size for any occasion. It is vulgar especially in conjunction with a ceremony that is supposed to one that is a celebration of the spiritual.

I don't think you truly understand what a bar/bat mitzvah is. You're just pulling excuses out of your ass to justify your cheap, Midwestern ways of thinking. It's not vulgar. Kids put this money away for college - nobody's blowing it on Starbucks.

What did the Midwesterners do to you?I have known many eastern natives pull out a 5 dollar bill and give it to the child being celebrated and I have also seen people from the Midwest give $500.
All you are doing is insulting Midwesterners just because they came from the midwest,then making anyone else that's not you look like an idiot.I can tell your the kind of person that would sell their own children if it made anyone other than you look bad.

,Being from the midwest,I agree.This person is being a hypocrite.

This guy trash talking Midwesterners is just making themselves look worse in the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

OMG IT'S A JOKE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have never given more than $108 even for close family members. We are in LA and this seems to be the norm for our synagogue. Our nephew had his bar mitzvah a few months ago and he got $108 from us, and my sons got around $36 from close friends and $72-108 from closer relatives. For family and friends that live overseas, we usually got material gifts rather than money.

$108? Not $107 or $109? That's oddly specific. What is YOUR DEAL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have never given more than $108 even for close family members. We are in LA and this seems to be the norm for our synagogue. Our nephew had his bar mitzvah a few months ago and he got $108 from us, and my sons got around $36 from close friends and $72-108 from closer relatives. For family and friends that live overseas, we usually got material gifts rather than money.

Are you the awkward but nice Jewish parents written about on DCUM that offered to give people rides out of Miami last Fall during Hurricane season. Because you have an awkward fixation on the number 108 and it's adorable.

[Anonymous]

We've Never Given More Than $108...

[Anonymous]

$108 is a multiple of 18, which is symbolic for life in Judaism, so gifts are usually given in multiples of 18. Insuggest you read entire threads before you comment, and, get out of your bubble, and instead of making fun of other culture's traditions, make friends with some people who aren't just like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

I disagree. I think it is bigoted and absolutely accurate.

I’m from the Midwest. The whole discussion is pointless because most people in the Midwest don’t know any Jews.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for the dumb question. We are going to our first bar mitzvah in the fall. I’m inferring from this post that cash is the typical gift? Or do people bring wrapped gifts also?

Thanks.