Can’t attend best friend’s DD’s bat-mitzvah: how much $ to give as gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$100 would be more than adequate.

For your best friend's daughter? Seriously?

For reference, when I got married, my best friends' parents gave us $300-$500.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$100 would be more than adequate.

For your best friend's daughter? Seriously?

For reference, when I got married, my best friends' parents gave us $300-$500.

That’s insane if you think that’s the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

I disagree. I think it is bigoted and absolutely accurate.

I would agree that that is the mindset of Midwesterners being one myself, but it isn't about being cheap. It is about both valuing the correct things (people not money) and recognizing that no child of 13 needs a gift of that size for any occasion. It is vulgar especially in conjunction with a ceremony that is supposed to one that is a celebration of the spiritual.

[Anonymous]

The posters in this thread are being judgemental snooty bigots because they think anyone who can't give a friend $100+ dollars is cheap.Not everyone can wipe their ass with dollar bills and you don't need to judge people because they dont.I think $54 is more than enough for a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$100 would be more than adequate.

For your best friend's daughter? Seriously?

For reference, when I got married, my best friends' parents gave us $300-$500.

OP here. I’m not wealthy. I couldn’t afford to give that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$100 would be more than adequate.

For your best friend's daughter? Seriously?

For reference, when I got married, my best friends' parents gave us $300-$500.

OP here. I’m not wealthy. I couldn’t afford to give that much.

And fortunately my best friend won’t be considering the dollar amount as a reflection of our friendship and it’s value to me.

[Anonymous]

$108 sounds great to me.

My daughter just graduated and I would have been uncomfortable with my friends giving her $250. Most gave around $50. Her grandfather gave her $500.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

I disagree. I think it is bigoted and absolutely accurate.

I would agree that that is the mindset of Midwesterners being one myself, but it isn't about being cheap. It is about both valuing the correct things (people not money) and recognizing that no child of 13 needs a gift of that size for any occasion. It is vulgar especially in conjunction with a ceremony that is supposed to one that is a celebration of the spiritual.

I don't think you truly understand what a bar/bat mitzvah is. You're just pulling excuses out of your ass to justify your cheap, Midwestern ways of thinking. It's not vulgar. Kids put this money away for college - nobody's blowing it on Starbucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$108 sounds great to me.

My daughter just graduated and I would have been uncomfortable with my friends giving her $250. Most gave around $50. Her grandfather gave her $500.

A bar or bat mitzvah is not a graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$200 - $250

There is no effing way I'd gift that much. Unless for a VERY close relative and for a wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

I disagree. I think it is bigoted and absolutely accurate.

I would agree that that is the mindset of Midwesterners being one myself, but it isn't about being cheap. It is about both valuing the correct things (people not money) and recognizing that no child of 13 needs a gift of that size for any occasion. It is vulgar especially in conjunction with a ceremony that is supposed to one that is a celebration of the spiritual.

I don't think you truly understand what a bar/bat mitzvah is. You're just pulling excuses out of your ass to justify your cheap, Midwestern ways of thinking. It's not vulgar. Kids put this money away for college - nobody's blowing it on Starbucks.

Why the hate for the Midwest? You do realize there are large cities in that region with wealthy Jewish areas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same amount you'd have given if you'd gone. I've never given less than $200.

A lot of people here are cheap though, because they're from the Midwest and they'll wear to you that $18 is totally fine.

Excuse me. Your comment about people from the Midwest is bigoted and simply untrue. Who else do you unfairly stereotype. Care to share??

I disagree. I think it is bigoted and absolutely accurate.

I would agree that that is the mindset of Midwesterners being one myself, but it isn't about being cheap. It is about both valuing the correct things (people not money) and recognizing that no child of 13 needs a gift of that size for any occasion. It is vulgar especially in conjunction with a ceremony that is supposed to one that is a celebration of the spiritual.

Oh, good, the typical Midwestern holier than thou, "Real 'Mericans" nonsense. Everything is better in the Midwest, you see - the people are nicer, live is a better pace, priorities are right, they don't work so hard, standard of living is better, blah, blah, blah. Did I miss anything?

[Anonymous]

We gave $180 for DS of a very close friend. I have never given more that that and no, I am not from the Midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree - $108 would be appropriate, as would be $54 or $72. Whatever number you are comfortable with! At my daughter's this past winter, she got $18-$108 from friends, only family gave above that, and we are an easy coast/NY group, so I think the first responder is a troll!

Definitely not a troll. In our family, we give $500 for niece/nephews and $200-$250 for close friends/close cousins. But definitely do what you feel comfortable doing - any gift is appreciated. We are from Westchester County, NY if that makes a difference.

For close friends where your child is good friends with the daughter/son, $200/$250 is not usual. We received a number of these gifts from friends who we were close with when DC had a bra mitzvah 5 years ago. if the three of you were invited and unless your circumstances don't allow it, $100 is fairly low. We also for close friends would sometimes do a gift equivalent if the child had a specific gift they wanted.

[Anonymous]

meant unusual, not usual.