I’m dating my (ex) professor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with being 23 is that a lot of the guys your age are too immature or not wanting to be in a relationship. But the guys in their early thirties who go out with women in their early to mid twenties....eh, in my experience a lot of times those guys are scuzzy and immature too.

That's a big age gap. Do you want to be fifty when he is sixty? It matters a lot. You'll take care of him and then likely wind up being old and alone yourself after playing nurse maid.

Op here and to be quite honest I don’t even feel like 9 years is a lot. How do you know he won’t be taking care of me? It happened to my aunt and her husband. She got Alzheimer’s and she was 10 years younger than her husband.

DP. When I was 21 I dated a 34 year old and agree with PP. At the TIME it felt like he was great, but in hindsight, he was not.

That doesn't mean this is the case for your prof but I'd be on the lookout. Guys in their 30s dating women in their early 20s want to have fun and screw around with low drama and low investment. I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule but I'd be wary.

And my mom married someone 11 years her senior (when she was late 20s and he was around 40). She ended up taking care of him and frequently talks about how that age difference didn't matter at all in the 40s and 50s but began to matter quite a bit when he got into his mid to late 60s.

[Anonymous]

NP. I date a professor but he was never my professor. He is several years older than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. And I graduated in 2017. And he has never dated a student. His ex’s all were either classmates or women he met somewhere else.

Then there is no problem! Nine years isn't a big deal. Enjoy yourself and see how it plays out. You're young and you have plenty of years ahead of you before you need to think about Mr. Right.

[Anonymous]

Go for it. I was madly in love with one of my professors, he was smokin’ hot. On Rate My Prof he had lots and lots of chile peppers, ha. Of course every time he talked to me I stumbled over my words and looked like the world’s biggest idiot.

I think the only concern with the age gap is that he’s probably more interested in settling down, and you shouldn’t alter your life plans for him. I did that with my older husband and have been kicking myself ever since.

If you’re worried that people will think you slept with him for a grade- people will think you have ulterior motives no matter who you are with. Don’t worry about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you graduated? If so, then go for it

Yes, I think it's fine as long as OP has graduated. If she is still in school, he is a prof in her department and I'm sure there are university rules against this. Maybe she isn't taking a class but he is connected to other people who have power over her career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. And I graduated in 2017. And he has never dated a student. His ex’s all were either classmates or women he met somewhere else.

Oh - you've graduated - then go for it. FTR, I don't think the age difference is good but that's a different matter from whether it is inappropriate. Enjoy yourself and don't be embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

I dated my statistics TA. He's now my husband. Be careful op. Statistians tend to be weird. Lots of my husband's friends have personality disorders.

[Anonymous]

Your age meets the "divide by two and add 7" rule!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated my statistics TA. He's now my husband. Be careful op. Statistians tend to be weird. Lots of my husband's friends have personality disorders.

Op here. And he’s not a statistician. He’s teaching different courses in the psychology department. His focus is clinical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated my statistics TA. He's now my husband. Be careful op. Statistians tend to be weird. Lots of my husband's friends have personality disorders.

Op here. And he’s not a statistician. He’s teaching different courses in the psychology department. His focus is clinical.

I am sure we could find him on google with the amount of detail you have divulged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated my statistics TA. He's now my husband. Be careful op. Statistians tend to be weird. Lots of my husband's friends have personality disorders.

Op here. And he’s not a statistician. He’s teaching different courses in the psychology department. His focus is clinical.

I am sure we could find him on google with the amount of detail you have divulged.

And your point is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated my statistics TA. He's now my husband. Be careful op. Statistians tend to be weird. Lots of my husband's friends have personality disorders.

Op here. And he’s not a statistician. He’s teaching different courses in the psychology department. His focus is clinical.

I am sure we could find him on google with the amount of detail you have divulged.

And your point is?

I am sure he would not appreciate you giving DCUM so much information. Some of us are professors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated my statistics TA. He's now my husband. Be careful op. Statistians tend to be weird. Lots of my husband's friends have personality disorders.

Op here. And he’s not a statistician. He’s teaching different courses in the psychology department. His focus is clinical.

I am sure we could find him on google with the amount of detail you have divulged.

And your point is?

I am sure he would not appreciate you giving DCUM so much information. Some of us are professors.

OP didn't even state which college...how to know? Anyway, the thing in marriages is that for sure, barring some awful accident which leads to simultaneous death, one spouse will surely predecease the other. That's the tragedy of forming a bond and partnership with someone. I don't get why at the first mention of an older male, posters have to write "OMG, you're going to be his nursemaid!" Men do die quicker you know? Women are the ones who end up more frail and less mobile in old age and suffer from more chronic illnesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated my statistics TA. He's now my husband. Be careful op. Statistians tend to be weird. Lots of my husband's friends have personality disorders.

Op here. And he’s not a statistician. He’s teaching different courses in the psychology department. His focus is clinical.

I am sure we could find him on google with the amount of detail you have divulged.

And your point is?

I am sure he would not appreciate you giving DCUM so much information. Some of us are professors.

OP didn't even state which college...how to know? Anyway, the thing in marriages is that for sure, barring some awful accident which leads to simultaneous death, one spouse will surely predecease the other. That's the tragedy of forming a bond and partnership with someone. I don't get why at the first mention of an older male, posters have to write "OMG, you're going to be his nursemaid!" Men do die quicker you know? Women are the ones who end up more frail and less mobile in old age and suffer from more chronic illnesses.

Op here. All I’ve stated is his age and profession. So relax, i won’t be sharing anything else. And yes thank you PP. everyone assumes that we’ll get married and he’ll get old sick and I’ll have to take care of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated my statistics TA. He's now my husband. Be careful op. Statistians tend to be weird. Lots of my husband's friends have personality disorders.

Op here. And he’s not a statistician. He’s teaching different courses in the psychology department. His focus is clinical.

I am sure we could find him on google with the amount of detail you have divulged.

And your point is?

I am sure he would not appreciate you giving DCUM so much information. Some of us are professors.

OP didn't even state which college...how to know? Anyway, the thing in marriages is that for sure, barring some awful accident which leads to simultaneous death, one spouse will surely predecease the other. That's the tragedy of forming a bond and partnership with someone. I don't get why at the first mention of an older male, posters have to write "OMG, you're going to be his nursemaid!" Men do die quicker you know? Women are the ones who end up more frail and less mobile in old age and suffer from more chronic illnesses.

Op here. All I’ve stated is his age and profession. So relax, i won’t be sharing anything else. And yes thank you PP. everyone assumes that we’ll get married and he’ll get old sick and I’ll have to take care of him.

I'm in the psych field. Clinical is huge -- the information you've given is insufficient to figure out who it is, so don't worry.

Now if I see you holding hands at the next APA convention... well enjoy yourself