DD wants to party all the time, keeps getting sick
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Anonymous
OP, it sounds like this is the one issue your daughter gives pushback and that's when your parenting falls apart. Good parenting is not giving an instruction and having a child somewhat happily comply. It's staying respectful and firm when the child freaks out in disagreement. The words you are looking for "Your father and I decided one sleepover each weekend, and no birthday parties on days you also have soccer games. It is important to have down time for adequate rest." (or whatever boundaries you think she needs). Repeat as necessary. Your consistency will be what gradually leads to her grudging acceptance. Right now you've taught her to complain until she gets her way. Expect her to complain even more for a while as she tries to find your new "push over point". Also, give up the idea that she will "understand" why you have these rules. She is becoming a teenager. By definition she will push back on every reasonable boundary you set for her. It's what they do. If it helps you, just remember that deep down they are relieved when you stick to your guns. It shows them its safe to spread their wings a little because you are still watching out for them and won't let them do anything too stupid. |
Anonymous
| Why are you staying up all night when your 10yo has a cold? That seems very excessive and unnecessary. |
Anonymous
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1. Your mantra is "parenting isn't supposed to feel good to me, but create a good adult"
2. Show some spine. 3. Get her more sleep and better hygeine habits. 4. Enough with the missed work for colds. She has to handle herself with greater maturity. |
Anonymous
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You can and should point to past examples of how this has worked out for her. You overdo it, you get sick, you stay home and I miss work and get in trouble, you have to make up schoolwork, it's no fun for anyone.
Also start giving the kid vitamin C or airborne when they do these sleepovers. But really you should be limiting the numbero f times per week or month she's allowed to go on all these outings. If I was her friend's parents, I'd be annoyed if she was around all the time late into the night. |
Anonymous
| The problem is you and your husband. Just say no. |
Anonymous
OP, "parents" like you really scare me. I truly hope this is a troll post. |
Anonymous
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You've taught her that your "no" is meaningless, and that she will get her way if she cries and carries on, so of course she is going to do this.
You need to break this habit now, and stick to your guns. It will be painful because she won't believe you and will keep upping the ante. You must resolve to set and stick with boundaries, whatever she throws at you. It will not be easy. You should have done this when she was three, not ten. But do it now, or Lord help you when she's thirteen. Bottom line is she doesn't respect you, and it's not going to unless you make some serious changes to your parenting. |
Anonymous
| I expected this to be about an older teen. Tween, party all the time? |
Anonymous
| Eliminate sleepovers. This will solve 85% of your problem. Honestly - kids can get so run down and then more susceptible to everything. |
Anonymous
Sure. Here are the words: No. Because I said so. Firstly, you don't HAVE to understand; you just have to do what you've been told, and secondly, you DO understand; you just don't like what you were told. |
Anonymous
| I don't think two social things a week plus playing with the neighbor kids sounds excessive. I can understand limiting sleepovers and picking her up at an agreed upon time instead of having her stay all night, but otherwise I would take it up with her doctor. I don't think it's good to limit an extroverted kid's normal socializing because of a health issue that may or may not be related. |
Anonymous
Yeah, I think you mean "socialize," OP, since party has a specific connotation, often related to drinking alcohol! |
Anonymous
| I don’t think the things you describe lead to colds. Of course if you think she’s doing too much it’s your job to regulate it. She’s 10. Weird post. |
Anonymous
| Before restricting her social life, help her create good hand washing habits. Hand washing is a miracle cure for kids who are frequently ill. If you still have a problem despite robust, consistent hand washing, check with her pediatrician. |
Anonymous
Be strict and consistent. It sounds to me that the child was not disciplined from the early age, and now she is not obeying you at all. Just sit down and talk to her about what reasonable for your family. Tell her you can handle one party a week (time wise and financially) and this is not negotiable. Let her choose which one she will be attending. I would not bring up concerns about her health at all. I would only talk about how much parents can handle. If you don't have money to buy X amount of presents, you don't go to X amount of parties. Period. There will be some drama at first, but if you remain consistent, she will adjust. Kids always like to test your boundaries, but you are the one who decide in the end of the day. Mandatory rest period is just a common sense and I don't understand why would any parent let a child who just recovered from cold to attend the party. I never let my kids go anywhere for at least a week. This is more out of consideration for other children. It also helps the child who just recovered from illness to rebuild his immune system and not to get a new viruses. As previous posters mentioned, check her for allergies. |