DD wants to party all the time, keeps getting sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is you and your husband. Just say no.

It is as simple as this. Be a parent.

[Anonymous]

You’re the parent, not her best friend. It’s okay that she doesn’t like a rule.

-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds lik3 a parenting issue, not a kid issue.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:
-Yes I agree it's a parenting issue, I guess I was looking for support and advice on how to handle this
-She eats almost no processed sugar or carbs - we mostly cook from scratch and eat fresh fruits and vegetables every day
-She does have a weak immune system, especially a weak respiratory system, that's always been the case. During good times she does fine, but we moved here from overseas last year so I think she's catching all the bugs here before she rebuilds her immunity

Question: any advice on the words I can use to get her to understand the issue and to listen to me better, with less conflict? (Before I get flamed for being a pushover - I'm not a pushover and my kids are quite reasonable in general. I'm just having a hard time dealing with this particular issue, that's why I'm here.)

Be strict and consistent. It sounds to me that the child was not disciplined from the early age, and now she is not obeying you at all. Just sit down and talk to her about what reasonable for your family. Tell her you can handle one party a week (time wise and financially) and this is not negotiable. Let her choose which one she will be attending. I would not bring up concerns about her health at all. I would only talk about how much parents can handle. If you don't have money to buy X amount of presents, you don't go to X amount of parties. Period. There will be some drama at first, but if you remain consistent, she will adjust. Kids always like to test your boundaries, but you are the one who decide in the end of the day.

Mandatory rest period is just a common sense and I don't understand why would any parent let a child who just recovered from cold to attend the party. I never let my kids go anywhere for at least a week. This is more out of consideration for other children. It also helps the child who just recovered from illness to rebuild his immune system and not to get a new viruses.

As previous posters mentioned, check her for allergies.

Really? A week that sounds excessive. 10 year olds need to go to school and should be kept out for a week after a cold.

[Anonymous]

https://adblockplus.org/

[Anonymous]

Who is the parent here? From what you wrote, it sounds like your daughter is running the show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:
-Yes I agree it's a parenting issue, I guess I was looking for support and advice on how to handle this
-She eats almost no processed sugar or carbs - we mostly cook from scratch and eat fresh fruits and vegetables every day
-She does have a weak immune system, especially a weak respiratory system, that's always been the case. During good times she does fine, but we moved here from overseas last year so I think she's catching all the bugs here before she rebuilds her immunity

Question: any advice on the words I can use to get her to understand the issue and to listen to me better, with less conflict? (Before I get flamed for being a pushover - I'm not a pushover and my kids are quite reasonable in general. I'm just having a hard time dealing with this particular issue, that's why I'm here.)

Be strict and consistent. It sounds to me that the child was not disciplined from the early age, and now she is not obeying you at all. Just sit down and talk to her about what reasonable for your family. Tell her you can handle one party a week (time wise and financially) and this is not negotiable. Let her choose which one she will be attending. I would not bring up concerns about her health at all. I would only talk about how much parents can handle. If you don't have money to buy X amount of presents, you don't go to X amount of parties. Period. There will be some drama at first, but if you remain consistent, she will adjust. Kids always like to test your boundaries, but you are the one who decide in the end of the day.

Mandatory rest period is just a common sense and I don't understand why would any parent let a child who just recovered from cold to attend the party. I never let my kids go anywhere for at least a week. This is more out of consideration for other children. It also helps the child who just recovered from illness to rebuild his immune system and not to get a new viruses.

As previous posters mentioned, check her for allergies.

Really? A week that sounds excessive. 10 year olds need to go to school and should be kept out for a week after a cold.

My kids are very smart and they never had problem catching up with school work, even when they took a lot of AP classes in high school. We always travel during the school time and it never been a problem. However, they graduated from school and have no single health issue, no allergy, nothing. When you let the body to recover completely after cold, you let their immune system to rebuild itself completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is the parent here? From what you wrote, it sounds like your daughter is running the show.

+1

[Anonymous]

Take her to an ENT and consider a tonsillectomy. I just had one and it did wonders for me.

Consider the possibility that she has social anxiety. That would explain the intense desire not to miss anything, and it's often behind not wanting to go to school as well.

Consider setting a time on Sunday by which she must be home (like, say, 4 PM). That will at least give you a good block of time on Sunday nights. Also pick a "family time" evening once a week for you to spend time together and never vary it. But make sure that you do spend time with her.

[Anonymous]

Make sick days extremely, extremely boring. And ban social events for 48 hours after every sick day.

It is telling that she wants to miss important things at school. As she gets okder that will make it impossible for her to do well in school. Could be anxiety.