Dispelling the Myth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By never marrying, you suggest that you’re an enormous pain in the ass with unrealistic, never-satisfied expectations. Marriage demonstrates an attempt at coexisting with a partner in life, so you’ve kinda proven that you’re normal.

I do think this is the general stereotype for females.

For males in your situation, it would be that he is a mama's boy/gay or can't commit sexually.

So true. I’m divorced after 20 years of marriage and will not even entertain dating men that have never married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some assume that something is wrong with you because you could never get someone to "wife" you. I personally think that's silly because it's not hard to find someone to marry- anyone can get married if they want to.
The more open-minded, intelligent, and thoughtful people won't jump straight to that conclusion, they'll ask directly or get to know you, so let those other guys weed themselves out.

A lie

No, getting married is not hard, neither is staying married. Having a successful one is. Personally, i would be gone in a second if my DS denied me sex. How degrading.

Huh. All the people who struggle on and off dating sites must be imagining things. Hey everyone! Getting married is a cinch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some assume that something is wrong with you because you could never get someone to "wife" you. I personally think that's silly because it's not hard to find someone to marry- anyone can get married if they want to.
The more open-minded, intelligent, and thoughtful people won't jump straight to that conclusion, they'll ask directly or get to know you, so let those other guys weed themselves out.

A lie

No, getting married is not hard, neither is staying married. Having a successful one is. Personally, i would be gone in a second if my DS denied me sex. How degrading.

Huh. All the people who struggle on and off dating sites must be imagining things. Hey everyone! Getting married is a cinch.

DP and it is. Getting married to the right person is much more of a challenge obviously, but all that's required to get married is the money it costs for the license. It doesn't take or mean anything special in and of itself, which is why assigning so much meaning to whether or not a person has been married, without knowing anything else about it, is silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some assume that something is wrong with you because you could never get someone to "wife" you. I personally think that's silly because it's not hard to find someone to marry- anyone can get married if they want to.
The more open-minded, intelligent, and thoughtful people won't jump straight to that conclusion, they'll ask directly or get to know you, so let those other guys weed themselves out.

A lie

No, getting married is not hard, neither is staying married. Having a successful one is. Personally, i would be gone in a second if my DS denied me sex. How degrading.

Huh. All the people who struggle on and off dating sites must be imagining things. Hey everyone! Getting married is a cinch.

Are you the OP? Cause if so holy hell you are annoying

[Anonymous]

Divorced 39 yo female and I do get wary of never married men around my age and older.

I went on a few dates with this smart, successful, cute 41 year old, who had a tween daughter but never got married. Kept wondering why...he had lived in 4 countries for a good period in each and probably had more chances than most to meet all kinds of women, and yet... none of them seemed to fit the bill?

When I asked him, his answer was not surprising: he had not met "the one" yet, and his relationships would start out hot and then fizzle out. A man his age waiting for that special unicorn to bear all his - very high - expectations is not a good prospect for a successful marriage, if he ever decides to have one.

For some reason though my view on this applies more to men than women. Maybe because I have lots of girlfriends my age who never married through no fault of their own - pretty, smart, accomplished but for some reason picked men who are not ready to commit even though my friends' end goal was marriage.

Perhaps due to sexism, the general view is that most men can have their pick whenever they decide to get married - provided they have some minimum qualities: a stable job, a nice enough personality etc. So if they are still single into their 40s it indicates some serious flaws or emotional blockages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some assume that something is wrong with you because you could never get someone to "wife" you. I personally think that's silly because it's not hard to find someone to marry- anyone can get married if they want to.
The more open-minded, intelligent, and thoughtful people won't jump straight to that conclusion, they'll ask directly or get to know you, so let those other guys weed themselves out.

A lie

No, getting married is not hard, neither is staying married. Having a successful one is. Personally, i would be gone in a second if my DS denied me sex. How degrading.

Huh. All the people who struggle on and off dating sites must be imagining things. Hey everyone! Getting married is a cinch.

Are you the OP? Cause if so holy hell you are annoying

Not OP, silly of you to think I am. It’s also silly to claim marrying, that is finding someone to go through life with, is easy. Such a claim contradicts the experience of so many people who have dated in this area.

[Anonymous]

Are you open to dating men outside your race? If not, that could be part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some assume that something is wrong with you because you could never get someone to "wife" you. I personally think that's silly because it's not hard to find someone to marry- anyone can get married if they want to.
The more open-minded, intelligent, and thoughtful people won't jump straight to that conclusion, they'll ask directly or get to know you, so let those other guys weed themselves out.

A lie

No, getting married is not hard, neither is staying married. Having a successful one is. Personally, i would be gone in a second if my DS denied me sex. How degrading.

Huh. All the people who struggle on and off dating sites must be imagining things. Hey everyone! Getting married is a cinch.

Are you the OP? Cause if so holy hell you are annoying

Not OP, silly of you to think I am. It’s also silly to claim marrying, that is finding someone to go through life with, is easy. Such a claim contradicts the experience of so many people who have dated in this area.

Reading isn't your thing.

[Anonymous]

NP. I'm in that demographic: with kid, never married. Does the stigma apply the same if the woman had a child in a long term relationship and chose not to get married? Is it really so much better to have been in a short marriage that failed? My daughter's dad proposed but we really had a hard time getting along and decided we better fix our differences before tying the knot. Well, we never did find peaceful ground and finally split after 5 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you open to dating men outside your race? If not, that could be part of the problem.

Yes, I am. I am dating a divorced white guy in his late 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm in that demographic: with kid, never married. Does the stigma apply the same if the woman had a child in a long term relationship and chose not to get married? Is it really so much better to have been in a short marriage that failed? My daughter's dad proposed but we really had a hard time getting along and decided we better fix our differences before tying the knot. Well, we never did find peaceful ground and finally split after 5 years.

I commend you for nkt getting married and trying to work on your relationship. I do think there is a slight stigma but that can work both ways too. Divorced men, especially if paying alimony, can come with a lot of emotional baggage.

[Anonymous]

At that age, I would assume single, never-married oeople, of either gender, have personality quirks that make them difficult to connect with.

Emotionally unavailable. Overly independent and unwilling to compromise. Weird and controlling about their personal space.

[Anonymous]

If you get to your late 40s without having lived with someone long term, there may be questions about your flexibility and whether you have become “set in your ways”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By never marrying, you suggest that you’re an enormous pain in the ass with unrealistic, never-satisfied expectations. Marriage demonstrates an attempt at coexisting with a partner in life, so you’ve kinda proven that you’re normal.

Those are your words, negative little nelly. I hope that you are able to heal your wounds and re-enter normal society. I wish you peace.

Truth hurts. OP asked for opinions. Yours is no better or worse.

It’s a ridiculous opinion.
I’ve known gorgeous, smart, warm AA women who have not been able to find a suitable mate. There’s another perspective through a different lens.

[Anonymous]

I think you look so indipendent (concived from sperm donor, never married, financially sound etc) that it may scare men away. The date may think ‘why she needs me? Why she needs a committed relationship? Am I just her new distraction?’. My two cents..