I’ve become so bitter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know if any woman truly loves a man for himself. Everywhere I look around me I see women settling down with men based very obviously on external factors.

“ oh his family is blue blood”
“ he is a McKinsey consultant”
“He is so logical and smart”
“ I know he will never have trouble getting hired”
“ he got me a bracelet from Tiffany’s”

I never hear anything about the mans personal attributes. It’s so obvious that if their boyfriend in question did not come with all his trappings of wealth or a good job or family status...the woman would never date him.

I’ve also seen perfectly wonderful guys in the retail industry being turned down by these same women because the guy didn’t have all of the above.

Is true love dead? Did it ever exist?

Would Meghan Markle love harry if he wasn’t the prince Harry?

Bitterness is wasteful and stupid. You are lucky to even be here. Go lift, it will make reality easier to accept and deal with, and improve your dealings with women no matter your stage of life.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone cares about all these things, OP. I have always loved my husband for who he is. I didn't want wealth. I wanted love. I didn't care about his body type. I wanted what was in his heart. He was 42 and had never married before we married, because so many women were superficial, and didn't bother to look at the person he truly is. For that I am forever grateful. I got the most amazing husband out of the deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high-earning, attractive, tall, fit, and active woman. I used to think that men would be attracted to my personality and career prospects but they are not. They see the outer shell first, so i make sure that it is the best that it can be.

Its even more so important now as i age and other women are heavier, have poor attitudes, and low libidos. This sucks, i know but it is what attracts them.

I fought against this mentality for so long. I even broke up with a few guys who have turned out to be high earners because of their "superficial" nature. Well, hell. Here i am, 20 years later dating the same guys who are attracted to my outer shell.

Its up to me to weed through the fools. Dating is a serious activity and you need to put your best foot forward.

If you've been dating for 20 years without finding a life partner then I'm not sure you're someone to take advice from.

Yes, it is. And we don't all lead the same lives, you realize this, don't you? Death, divorce, being widowed, taking care of medically ill relatives can all be a part of our lives. I won't tell you the ones I have experienced but thanks for your snarky useless comments.

I'm not sure I can cede you the moral high ground when you're talking about how all the women around you are fat sexless b's. There are guys out there who can see past the outer shell (and who can see and appreciate your outer shell of course). I hope you find one.

Those are your misogynistic words. Own them and stop projecting. Low libido is not sexless, nor is it asexual. The same with being heavier, you are the nasty one on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high-earning, attractive, tall, fit, and active woman. I used to think that men would be attracted to my personality and career prospects but they are not. They see the outer shell first, so i make sure that it is the best that it can be.

Its even more so important now as i age and other women are heavier, have poor attitudes, and low libidos. This sucks, i know but it is what attracts them.

I fought against this mentality for so long. I even broke up with a few guys who have turned out to be high earners because of their "superficial" nature. Well, hell. Here i am, 20 years later dating the same guys who are attracted to my outer shell.

Its up to me to weed through the fools. Dating is a serious activity and you need to put your best foot forward.

If you've been dating for 20 years without finding a life partner then I'm not sure you're someone to take advice from.

Yes, it is. And we don't all lead the same lives, you realize this, don't you? Death, divorce, being widowed, taking care of medically ill relatives can all be a part of our lives. I won't tell you the ones I have experienced but thanks for your snarky useless comments.

I'm not sure I can cede you the moral high ground when you're talking about how all the women around you are fat sexless b's. There are guys out there who can see past the outer shell (and who can see and appreciate your outer shell of course). I hope you find one.

Those are your misogynistic words. Own them and stop projecting. Low libido is not sexless, nor is it asexual. The same with being heavier, you are the nasty one on this thread.

Yeah sure you're right. Your post telling people that at the end of the day men only care about your outside shell was totally great and super empowering for women.

[Anonymous]

NP here: success and status are good things, and it is not surprising people are drawn to them to some extent. Beauty is also a good thing, and it is again unsurprising that people are drawn to it to some extent. Like anything, this can be taken too far. Is this all really so hard to accept?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high-earning, attractive, tall, fit, and active woman. I used to think that men would be attracted to my personality and career prospects but they are not. They see the outer shell first, so i make sure that it is the best that it can be.

Its even more so important now as i age and other women are heavier, have poor attitudes, and low libidos. This sucks, i know but it is what attracts them.

I fought against this mentality for so long. I even broke up with a few guys who have turned out to be high earners because of their "superficial" nature. Well, hell. Here i am, 20 years later dating the same guys who are attracted to my outer shell.

Its up to me to weed through the fools. Dating is a serious activity and you need to put your best foot forward.

If you've been dating for 20 years without finding a life partner then I'm not sure you're someone to take advice from.

Yes, it is. And we don't all lead the same lives, you realize this, don't you? Death, divorce, being widowed, taking care of medically ill relatives can all be a part of our lives. I won't tell you the ones I have experienced but thanks for your snarky useless comments.

I'm not sure I can cede you the moral high ground when you're talking about how all the women around you are fat sexless b's. There are guys out there who can see past the outer shell (and who can see and appreciate your outer shell of course). I hope you find one.

Those are your misogynistic words. Own them and stop projecting. Low libido is not sexless, nor is it asexual. The same with being heavier, you are the nasty one on this thread.

Yeah sure you're right. Your post telling people that at the end of the day men only care about your outside shell was totally great and super empowering for women.

DP who thought PP's post was great. Why are you picking at it?

[Anonymous]

Your post telling people that at the end of the day men only care about your outside shell was totally great and super empowering for women.

In the real world, men care a fair amount about your outside shell. That’s a fact, whether it’s empowering to you or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high-earning, attractive, tall, fit, and active woman. I used to think that men would be attracted to my personality and career prospects but they are not. They see the outer shell first, so i make sure that it is the best that it can be.

Its even more so important now as i age and other women are heavier, have poor attitudes, and low libidos. This sucks, i know but it is what attracts them.

I fought against this mentality for so long. I even broke up with a few guys who have turned out to be high earners because of their "superficial" nature. Well, hell. Here i am, 20 years later dating the same guys who are attracted to my outer shell.

Its up to me to weed through the fools. Dating is a serious activity and you need to put your best foot forward.

If you've been dating for 20 years without finding a life partner then I'm not sure you're someone to take advice from.

Yes, it is. And we don't all lead the same lives, you realize this, don't you? Death, divorce, being widowed, taking care of medically ill relatives can all be a part of our lives. I won't tell you the ones I have experienced but thanks for your snarky useless comments.

I'm not sure I can cede you the moral high ground when you're talking about how all the women around you are fat sexless b's. There are guys out there who can see past the outer shell (and who can see and appreciate your outer shell of course). I hope you find one.

Those are your misogynistic words. Own them and stop projecting. Low libido is not sexless, nor is it asexual. The same with being heavier, you are the nasty one on this thread.

Yeah sure you're right. Your post telling people that at the end of the day men only care about your outside shell was totally great and super empowering for women.

DP who thought PP's post was great. Why are you picking at it?

Because I think

1) Women are more than their outer shell
2) Guys out there exist that think that
3) Women should support each other and not say that all the ones around them are heavier, have a worse attitude and a low libido

I am very happily married and have plenty of sex with my husband so I am not what PP describes and taking it personally. But I HATE when women talk down about other women in this way. It is so dismissive and mean.

And by her own admission she's been dating for 20 years and is still dating the same kind of guy. Maybe she married one of those guys and they died from cancer and here she is dating the same kind of guy. That would be sad and I'd be sad for her of course. But she's still being unnecessarily cutting and focused on outside looks in her post .

[Anonymous]

And the bitter women would tell you that men marry for looks only.

I'd pick marrying for all the reasons you listed than marrying for looks.

So even if the stereotypes were always true, men's reasoning would still be much dumber than women's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high-earning, attractive, tall, fit, and active woman. I used to think that men would be attracted to my personality and career prospects but they are not. They see the outer shell first, so i make sure that it is the best that it can be.

Its even more so important now as i age and other women are heavier, have poor attitudes, and low libidos. This sucks, i know but it is what attracts them.

I fought against this mentality for so long. I even broke up with a few guys who have turned out to be high earners because of their "superficial" nature. Well, hell. Here i am, 20 years later dating the same guys who are attracted to my outer shell.

Its up to me to weed through the fools. Dating is a serious activity and you need to put your best foot forward.

If you've been dating for 20 years without finding a life partner then I'm not sure you're someone to take advice from.

Ha! I was thinking the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high-earning, attractive, tall, fit, and active woman. I used to think that men would be attracted to my personality and career prospects but they are not. They see the outer shell first, so i make sure that it is the best that it can be.

Its even more so important now as i age and other women are heavier, have poor attitudes, and low libidos. This sucks, i know but it is what attracts them.

I fought against this mentality for so long. I even broke up with a few guys who have turned out to be high earners because of their "superficial" nature. Well, hell. Here i am, 20 years later dating the same guys who are attracted to my outer shell.

Its up to me to weed through the fools. Dating is a serious activity and you need to put your best foot forward.

If you've been dating for 20 years without finding a life partner then I'm not sure you're someone to take advice from.

Yes, it is. And we don't all lead the same lives, you realize this, don't you? Death, divorce, being widowed, taking care of medically ill relatives can all be a part of our lives. I won't tell you the ones I have experienced but thanks for your snarky useless comments.

I'm not sure I can cede you the moral high ground when you're talking about how all the women around you are fat sexless b's. There are guys out there who can see past the outer shell (and who can see and appreciate your outer shell of course). I hope you find one.

Those are your misogynistic words. Own them and stop projecting. Low libido is not sexless, nor is it asexual. The same with being heavier, you are the nasty one on this thread.

Yeah sure you're right. Your post telling people that at the end of the day men only care about your outside shell was totally great and super empowering for women.

DP who thought PP's post was great. Why are you picking at it?

Because I think

1) Women are more than their outer shell
2) Guys out there exist that think that
3) Women should support each other and not say that all the ones around them are heavier, have a worse attitude and a low libido

I am very happily married and have plenty of sex with my husband so I am not what PP describes and taking it personally. But I HATE when women talk down about other women in this way. It is so dismissive and mean.

And by her own admission she's been dating for 20 years and is still dating the same kind of guy. Maybe she married one of those guys and they died from cancer and here she is dating the same kind of guy. That would be sad and I'd be sad for her of course. But she's still being unnecessarily cutting and focused on outside looks in her post .

From your own admission, you are married. What would you know about dating and what attracts a man. You haven't done it in a while. Dating is different in your 20s, 30s and certainly so in your 40s/50s and beyond. Women should not kid themselves into thinking that men are only attracted to what they cannot see. Keep believing it if you want, you are a married. It doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high-earning, attractive, tall, fit, and active woman. I used to think that men would be attracted to my personality and career prospects but they are not. They see the outer shell first, so i make sure that it is the best that it can be.

Its even more so important now as i age and other women are heavier, have poor attitudes, and low libidos. This sucks, i know but it is what attracts them.

I fought against this mentality for so long. I even broke up with a few guys who have turned out to be high earners because of their "superficial" nature. Well, hell. Here i am, 20 years later dating the same guys who are attracted to my outer shell.

Its up to me to weed through the fools. Dating is a serious activity and you need to put your best foot forward.

If you've been dating for 20 years without finding a life partner then I'm not sure you're someone to take advice from.

Yes, it is. And we don't all lead the same lives, you realize this, don't you? Death, divorce, being widowed, taking care of medically ill relatives can all be a part of our lives. I won't tell you the ones I have experienced but thanks for your snarky useless comments.

I'm not sure I can cede you the moral high ground when you're talking about how all the women around you are fat sexless b's. There are guys out there who can see past the outer shell (and who can see and appreciate your outer shell of course). I hope you find one.

Those are your misogynistic words. Own them and stop projecting. Low libido is not sexless, nor is it asexual. The same with being heavier, you are the nasty one on this thread.

Yeah sure you're right. Your post telling people that at the end of the day men only care about your outside shell was totally great and super empowering for women.

DP who thought PP's post was great. Why are you picking at it?

Because I think

1) Women are more than their outer shell
2) Guys out there exist that think that
3) Women should support each other and not say that all the ones around them are heavier, have a worse attitude and a low libido

I am very happily married and have plenty of sex with my husband so I am not what PP describes and taking it personally. But I HATE when women talk down about other women in this way. It is so dismissive and mean.

And by her own admission she's been dating for 20 years and is still dating the same kind of guy. Maybe she married one of those guys and they died from cancer and here she is dating the same kind of guy. That would be sad and I'd be sad for her of course. But she's still being unnecessarily cutting and focused on outside looks in her post .

From your own admission, you are married. What would you know about dating and what attracts a man. You haven't done it in a while. Dating is different in your 20s, 30s and certainly so in your 40s/50s and beyond. Women should not kid themselves into thinking that men are only attracted to what they cannot see. Keep believing it if you want, you are a married. It doesn't matter.

I think I successfully completed dating. Or at least I was successful in the way that most people are shooting for when they date. I kind of get what you're saying but if you've been dating for 20 years and your goal was marriage and it never happened then you're doing something wrong and I wouldn't take advice from you. Just like I wouldn't take advice on academics from someone in their 9th year of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know if any woman truly loves a man for himself. Everywhere I look around me I see women settling down with men based very obviously on external factors.

“ oh his family is blue blood”
“ he is a McKinsey consultant”
“He is so logical and smart”
“ I know he will never have trouble getting hired”
“ he got me a bracelet from Tiffany’s”

I never hear anything about the mans personal attributes. It’s so obvious that if their boyfriend in question did not come with all his trappings of wealth or a good job or family status...the woman would never date him.

I’ve also seen perfectly wonderful guys in the retail industry being turned down by these same women because the guy didn’t have all of the above.

Is true love dead? Did it ever exist?

Would Meghan Markle love harry if he wasn’t the prince Harry?

Are you saying That gingers are undateable?.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know if any woman truly loves a man for himself. Everywhere I look around me I see women settling down with men based very obviously on external factors.

“ oh his family is blue blood”
“ he is a McKinsey consultant”
“He is so logical and smart”
“ I know he will never have trouble getting hired”
“ he got me a bracelet from Tiffany’s”

I never hear anything about the mans personal attributes. It’s so obvious that if their boyfriend in question did not come with all his trappings of wealth or a good job or family status...the woman would never date him.

I’ve also seen perfectly wonderful guys in the retail industry being turned down by these same women because the guy didn’t have all of the above.

Is true love dead? Did it ever exist?

Would Meghan Markle love harry if he wasn’t the prince Harry?

No middleclass woman is excited to date a guy in retail. So put this out of your mind.

I have an answer for you. You think love is dead because you're angling above your station. Think about girls for whom a guy who works retail would be a catch. Look there. That's where love (for the guys who work retail) is alive and well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s DC culture. I’m not actually from the DC area, just found these boards and like the wide range of topics. I’m from a small town in coal country. My DH is a blue collar worker. He’s not perfect, he had a DUI years ago, but learned his lesson. We aren’t rolling in money. But he’s a wonderful, caring, thoughtful, and downright sexy guy. I love him like crazy. People where I live don’t really seem to care too much about someone’s pedigree or salary as long as they can pay the bills. That’s how I feel, and our relationship is fantastic. Move somewhere else where wealth and material things don’t run so many people’s lives. It’s not all women and you don’t have to live life being bitter.

In a small town in coal country, a blue collar worker can make a nice life for himself, especially if there are two incomes. Around here, where a 2 BR condo costs $450,000, he *wouldn't* be able to "pay the bills," and people think a little more about what life will be like in 20 years. Some of it is just cost of living.