I’ve become so bitter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know if any woman truly loves a man for himself. Everywhere I look around me I see women settling down with men based very obviously on external factors.

“ oh his family is blue blood”
“ he is a McKinsey consultant”
“He is so logical and smart”
“ I know he will never have trouble getting hired”
“ he got me a bracelet from Tiffany’s”

I never hear anything about the mans personal attributes. It’s so obvious that if their boyfriend in question did not come with all his trappings of wealth or a good job or family status...the woman would never date him.

I’ve also seen perfectly wonderful guys in the retail industry being turned down by these same women because the guy didn’t have all of the above.

Is true love dead? Did it ever exist?

Would Meghan Markle love harry if he wasn’t the prince Harry?

Prince Harry didn't pick a girl who works retail either so I'm not sure your criticism is justified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know if any woman truly loves a man for himself. Everywhere I look around me I see women settling down with men based very obviously on external factors.

“ oh his family is blue blood”
“ he is a McKinsey consultant”
“He is so logical and smart”
“ I know he will never have trouble getting hired”
“ he got me a bracelet from Tiffany’s”

I never hear anything about the mans personal attributes. It’s so obvious that if their boyfriend in question did not come with all his trappings of wealth or a good job or family status...the woman would never date him.

I’ve also seen perfectly wonderful guys in the retail industry being turned down by these same women because the guy didn’t have all of the above.

Is true love dead? Did it ever exist?

Would Meghan Markle love harry if he wasn’t the prince Harry?

No middleclass woman is excited to date a guy in retail. So put this out of your mind.

I have an answer for you. You think love is dead because you're angling above your station. Think about girls for whom a guy who works retail would be a catch. Look there. That's where love (for the guys who work retail) is alive and well.

This! in my 20's I had a boyfriend who was friends with a guy who worked for Metro. We hung out with the guy and his girlfriend one night and she was SO PROUD of him and happy, while I would never have dated a train operator (sorry/not sorry). I think she was a CNA or a home health aide. There is a lid for every pot, life is just easier when you stop expecting to fit a Le Creuset lid on a Walmart pot. Crude analogy, but you get my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know if any woman truly loves a man for himself. Everywhere I look around me I see women settling down with men based very obviously on external factors.

“ oh his family is blue blood”
“ he is a McKinsey consultant”
“He is so logical and smart”
“ I know he will never have trouble getting hired”
“ he got me a bracelet from Tiffany’s”

I never hear anything about the mans personal attributes. It’s so obvious that if their boyfriend in question did not come with all his trappings of wealth or a good job or family status...the woman would never date him.

I’ve also seen perfectly wonderful guys in the retail industry being turned down by these same women because the guy didn’t have all of the above.

Is true love dead? Did it ever exist?

Would Meghan Markle love harry if he wasn’t the prince Harry?[/quote]

Yes. Because he is kind and funny and can carry his own - he is not overly serious, nor does he take himself too seriously. A lot of women (and men!) I know want that type. Are you funny OP? Do you have a vivacious personality? No one wants a boring starfish. No one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know if any woman truly loves a man for himself. Everywhere I look around me I see women settling down with men based very obviously on external factors.

“ oh his family is blue blood”
“ he is a McKinsey consultant”
“He is so logical and smart”
“ I know he will never have trouble getting hired”
“ he got me a bracelet from Tiffany’s”

I never hear anything about the mans personal attributes. It’s so obvious that if their boyfriend in question did not come with all his trappings of wealth or a good job or family status...the woman would never date him.

I’ve also seen perfectly wonderful guys in the retail industry being turned down by these same women because the guy didn’t have all of the above.

Is true love dead? Did it ever exist?

Would Meghan Markle love harry if he wasn’t the prince Harry?

No middleclass woman is excited to date a guy in retail. So put this out of your mind.

I have an answer for you. You think love is dead because you're angling above your station. Think about girls for whom a guy who works retail would be a catch. Look there. That's where love (for the guys who work retail) is alive and well.

This! in my 20's I had a boyfriend who was friends with a guy who worked for Metro. We hung out with the guy and his girlfriend one night and she was SO PROUD of him and happy, while I would never have dated a train operator (sorry/not sorry). I think she was a CNA or a home health aide. There is a lid for every pot, life is just easier when you stop expecting to fit a Le Creuset lid on a Walmart pot. Crude analogy, but you get my point.

+1

Be yourself and don't try to sell yourself as something you are not, OP.

[Anonymous]

you're angling above your station.

Remember your place. Use the servants entrance. Address a woman of good breeding as “your ladyship”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

you're angling above your station.

Remember your place. Use the servants entrance. Address a woman of good breeding as “your ladyship”.

You forgot to mention the “lords.” Perhaps your blatant misogyny is obvious to any woman with a modicum of self-esteem, and that’s why you’re having trouble?

Also, tbh, your punctuation ain’t great (“servants” should be possessive and the period goes inside the quotes). Women with more education are more likely to notice and eventually be irked by this. There are many women who won’t notice and won’t care. Look there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

you're angling above your station.

Remember your place. Use the servants entrance. Address a woman of good breeding as “your ladyship”.

You forgot to mention the “lords.” Perhaps your blatant misogyny is obvious to any woman with a modicum of self-esteem, and that’s why you’re having trouble?

Also, tbh, your punctuation ain’t great (“servants” should be possessive and the period goes inside the quotes). Women with more education are more likely to notice and eventually be irked by this. There are many women who won’t notice and won’t care. Look there.

+100

[Anonymous]

Have you seen Chris Rock's newest comedy special Tambourine? He has a whole thing about men not being loved unconditionally that it sounds like you'd agree with.

[Anonymous]

That's really sad. I think you're hanging out with the wrong people. I married my husband because I love him, and am in love with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How wrong you are, OP. True bitterness only comes when you realize that the person you're with has deep flaws they are unwilling to correct, or can't.

I'm at that point in my marriage --- but I'm not bitter about it. I just deal with it, and find ways to be happy anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

you're angling above your station.

Remember your place. Use the servants entrance. Address a woman of good breeding as “your ladyship”.

You forgot to mention the “lords.” Perhaps your blatant misogyny is obvious to any woman with a modicum of self-esteem, and that’s why you’re having trouble?

Also, tbh, your punctuation ain’t great (“servants” should be possessive and the period goes inside the quotes). Women with more education are more likely to notice and eventually be irked by this. There are many women who won’t notice and won’t care. Look there.

No, I merely view anyone who thinks in terms of “above your station” as being a pompous asshole. That’s not misogyny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you seen Chris Rock's newest comedy special Tambourine? He has a whole thing about men not being loved unconditionally that it sounds like you'd agree with.

He also said he wanted to see a bunch of white kids get shot and their mothers crying on tv. He got his wish, right afterwards the Florida shooting occurred.

Not sure Chris Rock is who I would seek out for relationship help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s DC culture. I’m not actually from the DC area, just found these boards and like the wide range of topics. I’m from a small town in coal country. My DH is a blue collar worker. He’s not perfect, he had a DUI years ago, but learned his lesson. We aren’t rolling in money. But he’s a wonderful, caring, thoughtful, and downright sexy guy. I love him like crazy. People where I live don’t really seem to care too much about someone’s pedigree or salary as long as they can pay the bills. That’s how I feel, and our relationship is fantastic. Move somewhere else where wealth and material things don’t run so many people’s lives. It’s not all women and you don’t have to live life being bitter.

OP, people are more complex than you give them credit for. PPs post does a nice job of conveying that surface-level dismissal of a human being's complexity - in her case, she's dismissing a whole region of people based on her interpretation of their posts.

Ask yourself: can online audiences understand who you are by reading a single post you've written? -Or even a multitude of posts? No, of course not. When you post, you choose to share some things, change other things, gloss over others, conflate still others - etc. and so forth. The sum of who you are is so much more than these posts that are only surface and distorted expressions of you.

Not even your OP for this thread really conveys the nuances and complexities - good and not so good - of who you are. You wouldn't want people to base their understanding of you on this OP - it doesn't really represent you.

It's okay to feel discouraged, but resist bitterness. That's a frame of mind that reduces you. It doesn't deserve you, your energy or your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

you're angling above your station.

Remember your place. Use the servants entrance. Address a woman of good breeding as “your ladyship”.

You forgot to mention the “lords.” Perhaps your blatant misogyny is obvious to any woman with a modicum of self-esteem, and that’s why you’re having trouble?

Also, tbh, your punctuation ain’t great (“servants” should be possessive and the period goes inside the quotes). Women with more education are more likely to notice and eventually be irked by this. There are many women who won’t notice and won’t care. Look there.

No, I merely view anyone who thinks in terms of “above your station” as being a pompous asshole. That’s not misogyny.

Call it what you will, but the fact of the matter is that you, too, consider some people to be beneath you or too far up for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

you're angling above your station.

Remember your place. Use the servants entrance. Address a woman of good breeding as “your ladyship”.

You forgot to mention the “lords.” Perhaps your blatant misogyny is obvious to any woman with a modicum of self-esteem, and that’s why you’re having trouble?

Also, tbh, your punctuation ain’t great (“servants” should be possessive and the period goes inside the quotes). Women with more education are more likely to notice and eventually be irked by this. There are many women who won’t notice and won’t care. Look there.

Not if you're British. How provincial of you not to know this.