If you're a married man in an open relationship...

[Anonymous]

I did not have a pass, but I did have a horrible no-sex wife at home. Being completely honest about my situation with women I met on-line, I had no problem finding women willing to meet me. Married women were good for a few hookups, single women were good for longer term FWB or even more than FWB relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not have a pass, but I did have a horrible no-sex wife at home. Being completely honest about my situation with women I met on-line, I had no problem finding women willing to meet me. Married women were good for a few hookups, single women were good for longer term FWB or even more than FWB relationships.

I would say you DO have a pass. Why not make it official and let your wife know the marriage is Open? No sense pretending otherwise. Funny thing is, your horrible no-sex wife is *exactly* the type to suddenly find her desire when another (married) man starts paying her close attention. Like most wives, her low drive is limited to her husband. I would have a better chance at sex with your wife than you do (and you with mine). It’s nothing personal, just how it goes in marriages where wife is the seemingly “low drive” partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have a pass, but I did have a horrible no-sex wife at home. Being completely honest about my situation with women I met on-line, I had no problem finding women willing to meet me. Married women were good for a few hookups, single women were good for longer term FWB or even more than FWB relationships.

I would say you DO have a pass. Why not make it official and let your wife know the marriage is Open? No sense pretending otherwise. Funny thing is, your horrible no-sex wife is *exactly* the type to suddenly find her desire when another (married) man starts paying her close attention. Like most wives, her low drive is limited to her husband. I would have a better chance at sex with your wife than you do (and you with mine). It’s nothing personal, just how it goes in marriages where wife is the seemingly “low drive” partner.

Its because there is some underlying issue with you or the pp that is causing the wife to hold sex.

[Anonymous]

Your friend is unattractive or comes off as sketchy in some way, looking in the wrong places/people, or not trying hard enough. NSA sex is not hard to find.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have a pass, but I did have a horrible no-sex wife at home. Being completely honest about my situation with women I met on-line, I had no problem finding women willing to meet me. Married women were good for a few hookups, single women were good for longer term FWB or even more than FWB relationships.

I would say you DO have a pass. Why not make it official and let your wife know the marriage is Open? No sense pretending otherwise. Funny thing is, your horrible no-sex wife is *exactly* the type to suddenly find her desire when another (married) man starts paying her close attention. Like most wives, her low drive is limited to her husband. I would have a better chance at sex with your wife than you do (and you with mine). It’s nothing personal, just how it goes in marriages where wife is the seemingly “low drive” partner.

Its because there is some underlying issue with you or the pp that is causing the wife to hold sex.

Maybe. But explain how each of us have little trouble finding other married women to have sex with? Seems like it’s not me, and not PP. Seems like it has more to do with troubles of women sustaining desire towards a long term relationship partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even for those married men that are powerful, good looking, or have money, there is a trade off . . . And it is the exchange of money. Either he is bedding different women at each encounter, or he is paying for something; vacations, rent, tuition, etc. These arrangements aren't free.

You clearly have no idea what you are talking about. Not from any experience anyway. If I'm wrong, then I'm sorry you have to pay for sex as the only way to get some. It's not like that for the rest of us. I've never given an AP any of those things. A few of them even took turns paying for the hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have a pass, but I did have a horrible no-sex wife at home. Being completely honest about my situation with women I met on-line, I had no problem finding women willing to meet me. Married women were good for a few hookups, single women were good for longer term FWB or even more than FWB relationships.

I would say you DO have a pass. Why not make it official and let your wife know the marriage is Open? No sense pretending otherwise. Funny thing is, your horrible no-sex wife is *exactly* the type to suddenly find her desire when another (married) man starts paying her close attention. Like most wives, her low drive is limited to her husband. I would have a better chance at sex with your wife than you do (and you with mine). It’s nothing personal, just how it goes in marriages where wife is the seemingly “low drive” partner.

Crap, that is depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your male friend was a fool for seeking out a single woman for NSA sex. That is mission impossible for most married men. Now that he's divorced, I bet he is easily finding 3 different women per week. So his problem is solved.

For a married man in open relationship, the only chance is with other married women. In fact these odds are quite good, because nearly every married woman is just like your friends ex-wife: not interested in sex with her husband. This boredom with her husband makes married women an easy target for any other man: just show her some attention that she's been craving and watch her sex drive bounce right back! For this reason, most married men have far better luck with random married women versus his own wife.

I would not call the situation impossible but more likely, situational or difficult depending on circumstances. There is no shortage of single women that have affairs with married men.

[Anonymous]

Like most wives, her low drive is limited to her husband. I would have a better chance at sex with your wife than you do (and you with mine). It’s nothing personal, just how it goes in marriages where wife is the seemingly “low drive” partner.


Crap, that is depressing.

Eh. I am sure the situation is not the same for everyone, but a large part of the reason that I am not very interested in having sex with my husband is that he pretty much pays zero attention to me except when he wants to have sex. He's either watching sports with friends or playing video games with DS. Never wants to go out, not too interested in what I have to say. Who would be attracted to that? I've never cheated and don't intend to, but I can see the appeal of another man who actually at least fakes some interest or gives some attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Like most wives, her low drive is limited to her husband. I would have a better chance at sex with your wife than you do (and you with mine). It’s nothing personal, just how it goes in marriages where wife is the seemingly “low drive” partner.


Crap, that is depressing.

Eh. I am sure the situation is not the same for everyone, but a large part of the reason that I am not very interested in having sex with my husband is that he pretty much pays zero attention to me except when he wants to have sex. He's either watching sports with friends or playing video games with DS. Never wants to go out, not too interested in what I have to say. Who would be attracted to that? I've never cheated and don't intend to, but I can see the appeal of another man who actually at least fakes some interest or gives some attention.

I would wager your DH believes a large part of the reason he's way less attentive is your apathy towards sex. It really doesn't much matter who "started" this cycle, once it begins both of you are one little spark closer to the hot new guy/gal at work who (coincidentally!) has a no-sex wife at home, or a conversation-less DH. Yes, depressing, but makes it easier for those of us in such relationships to find a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have a pass, but I did have a horrible no-sex wife at home. Being completely honest about my situation with women I met on-line, I had no problem finding women willing to meet me. Married women were good for a few hookups, single women were good for longer term FWB or even more than FWB relationships.

I would say you DO have a pass. Why not make it official and let your wife know the marriage is Open? No sense pretending otherwise. Funny thing is, your horrible no-sex wife is *exactly* the type to suddenly find her desire when another (married) man starts paying her close attention. Like most wives, her low drive is limited to her husband. I would have a better chance at sex with your wife than you do (and you with mine). It’s nothing personal, just how it goes in marriages where wife is the seemingly “low drive” partner.

Crap, that is depressing.

NP here and it’s so true for me...it’s actually nice to read it here and see I’m not alone in feeling this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have a pass, but I did have a horrible no-sex wife at home. Being completely honest about my situation with women I met on-line, I had no problem finding women willing to meet me. Married women were good for a few hookups, single women were good for longer term FWB or even more than FWB relationships.

I would say you DO have a pass. Why not make it official and let your wife know the marriage is Open? No sense pretending otherwise. Funny thing is, your horrible no-sex wife is *exactly* the type to suddenly find her desire when another (married) man starts paying her close attention. Like most wives, her low drive is limited to her husband. I would have a better chance at sex with your wife than you do (and you with mine). It’s nothing personal, just how it goes in marriages where wife is the seemingly “low drive” partner.

Crap, that is depressing.

NP here and it’s so true for me...it’s actually nice to read it here and see I’m not alone in feeling this way.

Keep telling it to yourselves, guys. Not your fault ever.

[Anonymous]

to the hot new guy/gal at work who (coincidentally!) has a no-sex wife at home, or a conversation-less DH. Yes, depressing, but makes it easier for those of us in such relationships to find a partner.

I would never in a million years get involved with someone at work, no matter how cute they were or how bad my marriage was. My career means a lot to me.