If you're a married man in an open relationship...

[Anonymous]

Where/how do you find partners? I'm genuinely curious about this.

A male friend of mine was telling me today that he and his wife of 10 years are divorcing. Basically the DW's sex drive tanked after kids. About a year ago, she gave him permission to find sex outside of their marriage. He said at first he was excited but then quickly realized that no single woman wanted to have sex with a married man. (He felt the need to disclose that he was married.) He was also uncomfortable with a married, cheating partner. He was never successful in finding a woman in a similar situation and so now he has decided to divorce his wife. I asked why he didn't just pay for sex and he didn't give me a clear answer, but I guess that was also not an option for him personally.

And FWIW, I am a single early 30s woman who is constantly approached on dating sites by married men who claim they are in open relationships. I always pass because I'm certain that most of them are just cheating and not actually in open relationships, so I can see how my friend was having trouble.

So, DCUM, enlighten me please.

[Anonymous]

What do you want to know? Dh and I have been married for 20+ years and our marriage has been open at various times. Neither dh nor I have ever had problems finding partners. There are groups/communities, clubs, websites, etc for this type of thing. Your friend didn't try hard enough or he was looking in the wrong places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you want to know? Dh and I have been married for 20+ years and our marriage has been open at various times. Neither dh nor I have ever had problems finding partners. There are groups/communities, clubs, websites, etc for this type of thing. Your friend didn't try hard enough or he was looking in the wrong places.

No apps?

[Anonymous]

Your male friend was a fool for seeking out a single woman for NSA sex. That is mission impossible for most married men. Now that he's divorced, I bet he is easily finding 3 different women per week. So his problem is solved.

For a married man in open relationship, the only chance is with other married women. In fact these odds are quite good, because nearly every married woman is just like your friends ex-wife: not interested in sex with her husband. This boredom with her husband makes married women an easy target for any other man: just show her some attention that she's been craving and watch her sex drive bounce right back! For this reason, most married men have far better luck with random married women versus his own wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: For this reason, most married men have far better luck with random married women versus his own wife.

As a married woman with a dead bedroom, how do I let a man know I am interested without coming out and saying it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: For this reason, most married men have far better luck with random married women versus his own wife.

As a married woman with a dead bedroom, how do I let a man know I am interested without coming out and saying it?

Seems like you have the same problem at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your male friend was a fool for seeking out a single woman for NSA sex. That is mission impossible for most married men. Now that he's divorced, I bet he is easily finding 3 different women per week. So his problem is solved.

For a married man in open relationship, the only chance is with other married women. In fact these odds are quite good, because nearly every married woman is just like your friends ex-wife: not interested in sex with her husband. This boredom with her husband makes married women an easy target for any other man: just show her some attention that she's been craving and watch her sex drive bounce right back! For this reason, most married men have far better luck with random married women versus his own wife.

If a man has problems finding NSA sex, no wonder he has no sex at home.

[Anonymous]

Is this hall pass guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this hall pass guy?

Nope. I'm the OP and I'm a woman. Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a married woman with a dead bedroom, how do I let a man know I am interested without coming out and saying it?

Look at a man and smile. It's not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your male friend was a fool for seeking out a single woman for NSA sex. That is mission impossible for most married men. Now that he's divorced, I bet he is easily finding 3 different women per week. So his problem is solved.

For a married man in open relationship, the only chance is with other married women. In fact these odds are quite good, because nearly every married woman is just like your friends ex-wife: not interested in sex with her husband. This boredom with her husband makes married women an easy target for any other man: just show her some attention that she's been craving and watch her sex drive bounce right back! For this reason, most married men have far better luck with random married women versus his own wife.

If a man has problems finding NSA sex, no wonder he has no sex at home.

Yes, they do have problems and they risk being outed by single people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your male friend was a fool for seeking out a single woman for NSA sex. That is mission impossible for most married men. Now that he's divorced, I bet he is easily finding 3 different women per week. So his problem is solved.

For a married man in open relationship, the only chance is with other married women. In fact these odds are quite good, because nearly every married woman is just like your friends ex-wife: not interested in sex with her husband. This boredom with her husband makes married women an easy target for any other man: just show her some attention that she's been craving and watch her sex drive bounce right back! For this reason, most married men have far better luck with random married women versus his own wife.

If a man has problems finding NSA sex, no wonder he has no sex at home.

Yes, they do have problems and they risk being outed by single people.

Outed? Open relationship, what's to be outed about? It's very easy to find NSA sex. If a person has a problem with it, maybe he/she should look at the root of the problem aka self. It is most likely the reason for no sex at home too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you want to know? Dh and I have been married for 20+ years and our marriage has been open at various times. Neither dh nor I have ever had problems finding partners. There are groups/communities, clubs, websites, etc for this type of thing. Your friend didn't try hard enough or he was looking in the wrong places.

No apps?

[Anonymous]

There are apps and websites. My DH doesn't have a problem with this at all, and not all of them are married too. Some are single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: For this reason, most married men have far better luck with random married women versus his own wife.

As a married woman with a dead bedroom, how do I let a man know I am interested without coming out and saying it?

You mean a married man? Easy peasy! He's married so you already know his wife is disinterested and he is starved for any woman showing interest. Even the tiniest amount of flirting will catch his notice. If he's been married 10 years or more, a simple "Hi there" should do it.