Say something about carpooling parent with a DUI?

[Anonymous]

Alcoholic or not, the woman has wildly horrible judgement. The DUI, and having the kid in the car, AND continuing to be part of a carpool?! This is a pattern. I don’t care if she’s an alcoholic or a problem drinker- she’s an idiot that can’t be trusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alcoholic or not, the woman has wildly horrible judgement. The DUI, and having the kid in the car, AND continuing to be part of a carpool?! This is a pattern. I don’t care if she’s an alcoholic or a problem drinker- she’s an idiot that can’t be trusted.

So you are for letting other parents at the school know about it? It's a big school, there are tons of parents in her grade that we don't know, and I do worry that something will happen. But, I also don't want this 13 year old to be ostracized. It's bad enough she very well could have been the minor in the car when the mom was arrested.

[Anonymous]

Wish I were in your group. I feel she owes it to the group to disclose the DUI, explain herself, and let others decide whether or not she gets to participate in the carpool. At this point, I'd vote myself in to be the one to let her know that she's a POS and won't be driving our anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this really reaffirm how awful and judgmental most of you are. While I agree that it's a terrible think to drive under the influence, the reality is that you know NOTHING about the situation at all. Maybe you should try having an actual conversation with the woman or getting to know her before deciding on a course of action. There may be a reason why she still has a license. Did you, for instance, that a small woman (100 lbs) can be legally over the limit after one drink? Most of you probably don't think anything of driving after one drink. Now she may have had 4 scotch on-the-rocks, but you don't know that--or do you?

I routinely see people splitting a bottle of wine at lunch and then going to pick up their kids. I doubt most of them are pulled over. Ditto for the dads at happy hour. If you're really concerned, drive your own kids and don't drink at all.

I am so happy for you that you have never had someone you know and love injured or killed by a drunk driver. There is no way that anyone who has actually been affected by someone's irresponsible choice to drink and drive, would post something like what you posted above. Congratulations on your extreme fortune, I hope it continues for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this really reaffirm how awful and judgmental most of you are. While I agree that it's a terrible think to drive under the influence, the reality is that you know NOTHING about the situation at all. Maybe you should try having an actual conversation with the woman or getting to know her before deciding on a course of action. There may be a reason why she still has a license. Did you, for instance, that a small woman (100 lbs) can be legally over the limit after one drink? Most of you probably don't think anything of driving after one drink. Now she may have had 4 scotch on-the-rocks, but you don't know that--or do you?

I routinely see people splitting a bottle of wine at lunch and then going to pick up their kids. I doubt most of them are pulled over. Ditto for the dads at happy hour. If you're really concerned, drive your own kids and don't drink at all.

I thought I’d seen everything on DCUM - until now. Justifying DUI?

Wtf? I don’t care how much she weighs, how much it takes her to get drunk, whatever other ridiculous circumstances you can come up with to justify her DUI. SHE WAS DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE. Nothing makes that ok.

I literally cannot drive after one drink. So I don’t. Ever.

[Anonymous]

My concern is there was a child in the car when it happened. My aunt got a DUI severaL years ago. She is not an alcoholic but had bad judgement that night. Now, the rare times.she drinks, even just one, she calls an uber. People make mistakes and some learn from them. I would not publicly shame this person since it appears to be one time stupidity, bUT I.would not let her drive my kid either. A.private conversation is sufficient. She is paying the price judicially and should not be shamed.more than she is. I hate that peoples.legal.dirty laundry is now.available for all to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this really reaffirm how awful and judgmental most of you are. While I agree that it's a terrible think to drive under the influence, the reality is that you know NOTHING about the situation at all. Maybe you should try having an actual conversation with the woman or getting to know her before deciding on a course of action. There may be a reason why she still has a license. Did you, for instance, that a small woman (100 lbs) can be legally over the limit after one drink? Most of you probably don't think anything of driving after one drink. Now she may have had 4 scotch on-the-rocks, but you don't know that--or do you?

I routinely see people splitting a bottle of wine at lunch and then going to pick up their kids. I doubt most of them are pulled over. Ditto for the dads at happy hour. If you're really concerned, drive your own kids and don't drink at all.

Are you kidding? If she’s a small woman who is impaired after one drink, she should know that by now and NOT DRIVE — let alone drive a car pool woh OTHER PEOPLE’S KIDS!

My two cents - people splitting a bottle of wine at lunch also should not be driving. What is so hard about getting a cab, an Uber, or designating someone to drive and not drink? I’m the child of an alcoholic and know firsthand the devastation alcohol causes. I have zero patience for any of this. You people are presumably grown adults. If you can’t have lunch without drinking half a bottle of wine - when you know you have to drive - then yes, you have a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My concern is there was a child in the car when it happened. My aunt got a DUI severaL years ago. She is not an alcoholic but had bad judgement that night. Now, the rare times.she drinks, even just one, she calls an uber. People make mistakes and some learn from them. I would not publicly shame this person since it appears to be one time stupidity, bUT I.would not let her drive my kid either. A.private conversation is sufficient. She is paying the price judicially and should not be shamed.more than she is. I hate that peoples.legal.dirty laundry is now.available for all to see.

Most likely it was not a "one time stupidity." On average, someone will drink and drive 80 times before their first arrest! https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-driving-under-influence

I think this is likely just the first time she was caught, especially since OP says she has witnessed heavy drinking from this couple in the past.

[Anonymous]

My grandfather was a municipal bus driver. Because of what he saw on the roads, he never drove after even one drink. My dad doesn’t. I don’t. It’s not hard.

This woman has a drinking problem and the sooner she is helped to realize it the better.

[Anonymous]

Get a grip, people. The woman made a mistake. And went through the judicial process to pay for it. She still has a license. How many of the carpool moms talk on the phone, text, or are otherwise distracted while driving? Would you cut a Mom from carpool for those behaviors, which can be just as hazardous as driving after a couple drinks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a grip, people. The woman made a mistake. And went through the judicial process to pay for it. She still has a license. How many of the carpool moms talk on the phone, text, or are otherwise distracted while driving? Would you cut a Mom from carpool for those behaviors, which can be just as hazardous as driving after a couple drinks?

I would.

[Anonymous]

Again, how does she have a license to drive beyond the typical driving to work? There’s usually a restriction on how much someone convicted of DUI can drive; in VA it’s a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a grip, people. The woman made a mistake. And went through the judicial process to pay for it. She still has a license. How many of the carpool moms talk on the phone, text, or are otherwise distracted while driving? Would you cut a Mom from carpool for those behaviors, which can be just as hazardous as driving after a couple drinks?

I would.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
"Larla, we learned about your DUI. Being an alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of, and we are really hoping you're getting the help you need. But as you can understand, since you don't have much time in sobriety, none of us is comfortable with you driving the carpool at this time. We're happy to keep transporting Gidget."

LOL, what? Take out the flowery bullshit:

"Larla, we learned about your DUI. None of us is comfortable with you driving the carpool at this time. We're happy to keep transporting Gidget."

Agree. The first language is socially awkward and passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

I would just let it go and avoid the awkwardness, she probably learned her lesson and won’t do it again.