Say something about carpooling parent with a DUI?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
"Larla, we learned about your DUI. Being an alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of, and we are really hoping you're getting the help you need. But as you can understand, since you don't have much time in sobriety, none of us is comfortable with you driving the carpool at this time. We're happy to keep transporting Gidget."

DUI =/= alcoholic.

Plenty of non-alcoholics do it. It's always wrong and a danger to everyone...but this is insane.

[Anonymous]

Does she still have a license? I agree. She’s out of the carpool.

[Anonymous]

DUI with kids in the car? She’s an alcoholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DUI with kids in the car? She’s an alcoholic.

OP here. I do think getting a DUI with her child in the car is damning. Followup question: some of the moms want to "alert" other Pyle parents. Too much?

[Anonymous]

I'm actually surprised that she is driving at all--especially for non essential (work) trips. I thought in MD a first DUI offense results in losing your DL for 6 months? I wish penalties were more consistent and enforced.

But yeah, I agree with other posters to no longer allow her to drive your child in carpool, but still offer to drive her child. It will help keep her off the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DUI with kids in the car? She’s an alcoholic.

OP here. I do think getting a DUI with her child in the car is damning. Followup question: some of the moms want to "alert" other Pyle parents. Too much?

Is she driving other peoples' kids without disclosing (aside from carpool)? Is she driving without a license?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DUI with kids in the car? She’s an alcoholic.

OP here. I do think getting a DUI with her child in the car is damning. Followup question: some of the moms want to "alert" other Pyle parents. Too much?

If I was me, I would keep it to my carpool. It will get out eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
"Larla, we learned about your DUI. Being an alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of, and we are really hoping you're getting the help you need. But as you can understand, since you don't have much time in sobriety, none of us is comfortable with you driving the carpool at this time. We're happy to keep transporting Gidget."

DUI =/= alcoholic.

Plenty of non-alcoholics do it. It's always wrong and a danger to everyone...but this is insane.

There's a spectrum of alcohol misuse, though, and "alcoholic" is not a diagnosis. Drinking enough to raise your blood alcohol and then having the poor judgment to drive intoxicated is a problem. It doesn't matter what the label is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DUI with kids in the car? She’s an alcoholic.

OP here. I do think getting a DUI with her child in the car is damning. Followup question: some of the moms want to "alert" other Pyle parents. Too much?

I worry more about whether her child would be treated differently because of her parent's behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DUI with kids in the car? She’s an alcoholic.

OP here. I do think getting a DUI with her child in the car is damning. Followup question: some of the moms want to "alert" other Pyle parents. Too much?

I worry more about whether her child would be treated differently because of her parent's behavior.

First I'd worry about the child dying because of her mom's bad choices, but I think that every effort should be made to keep including the child and not punish her for her mom's behavior.

[Anonymous]

Threads like this really reaffirm how awful and judgmental most of you are. While I agree that it's a terrible think to drive under the influence, the reality is that you know NOTHING about the situation at all. Maybe you should try having an actual conversation with the woman or getting to know her before deciding on a course of action. There may be a reason why she still has a license. Did you, for instance, that a small woman (100 lbs) can be legally over the limit after one drink? Most of you probably don't think anything of driving after one drink. Now she may have had 4 scotch on-the-rocks, but you don't know that--or do you?

I routinely see people splitting a bottle of wine at lunch and then going to pick up their kids. I doubt most of them are pulled over. Ditto for the dads at happy hour. If you're really concerned, drive your own kids and don't drink at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this really reaffirm how awful and judgmental most of you are. While I agree that it's a terrible think to drive under the influence, the reality is that you know NOTHING about the situation at all. Maybe you should try having an actual conversation with the woman or getting to know her before deciding on a course of action. There may be a reason why she still has a license. Did you, for instance, that a small woman (100 lbs) can be legally over the limit after one drink? Most of you probably don't think anything of driving after one drink. Now she may have had 4 scotch on-the-rocks, but you don't know that--or do you?

I routinely see people splitting a bottle of wine at lunch and then going to pick up their kids. I doubt most of them are pulled over. Ditto for the dads at happy hour. If you're really concerned, drive your own kids and don't drink at all.

If you consider half a bottle of wine at lunch during the week to be “routine,” then you’ve surrounded yourself with a lot of problem drinkers. It is unhealthy behavior.

[Anonymous]

It's not really up to you and the carpool to determine that she's an alcohol and intervene. As a part of dealing with the legal consequences of her DUI, she is very likely evaluating whether she has an alcohol problem and what to do about it. I would not go there.

Do not tell other parents unless you think ridesharing could be an issue.

Let the child stay in the carpool and tell the mom that because of the DUI, you guys will take over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this really reaffirm how awful and judgmental most of you are. While I agree that it's a terrible think to drive under the influence, the reality is that you know NOTHING about the situation at all. Maybe you should try having an actual conversation with the woman or getting to know her before deciding on a course of action. There may be a reason why she still has a license. Did you, for instance, that a small woman (100 lbs) can be legally over the limit after one drink? Most of you probably don't think anything of driving after one drink. Now she may have had 4 scotch on-the-rocks, but you don't know that--or do you?

I routinely see people splitting a bottle of wine at lunch and then going to pick up their kids. I doubt most of them are pulled over. Ditto for the dads at happy hour. If you're really concerned, drive your own kids and don't drink at all.

If you consider half a bottle of wine at lunch during the week to be “routine,” then you’ve surrounded yourself with a lot of problem drinkers. It is unhealthy behavior.

I literally cannot think of any scenario that would make me okay with a parent with a recent DUI driving my child without disclosing the DUI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this really reaffirm how awful and judgmental most of you are. While I agree that it's a terrible think to drive under the influence, the reality is that you know NOTHING about the situation at all. Maybe you should try having an actual conversation with the woman or getting to know her before deciding on a course of action. There may be a reason why she still has a license. Did you, for instance, that a small woman (100 lbs) can be legally over the limit after one drink? Most of you probably don't think anything of driving after one drink. Now she may have had 4 scotch on-the-rocks, but you don't know that--or do you?

I routinely see people splitting a bottle of wine at lunch and then going to pick up their kids. I doubt most of them are pulled over. Ditto for the dads at happy hour. If you're really concerned, drive your own kids and don't drink at all.

Whatever. If you have a DUI while your daughter was in the car, you shouldn't be driving other's people's kids around without explaining yourself to them. It is that simple

Stop coming up with silly excuses.

And yeah. I do not drink and drive. Not even a glass. And I do not want anyone driving my children after drinking a glass of any alcoholic beverage. Again, it is that simple.