If these kids are two years older, is it possible that they are immigrants who had not been in school when they arrived here? I cannot come up with another explanation. A redshirted kid is only one year older. |
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Of kids turning 5 this year in my neck of FCPS, here is what I’ve seen amongst my friends’/neighbors’ kids:
June birthday boy - redshirting July birthday girl - going to K August birthday boy - redshirting August birthday boy - going to K September birthday boy - redshirting All have a stay at home parent except the Aug. birthday boy going to K, who has 2 working parents and has been in day care. I’m not aware of any kids older than June being redshirted. I know 2 May birthday girls both going to K. |
OP here. Nope. They were not held back. This was intentional. These are white boys of affluent educated parents. The boy in my son's class was born in March of 2005. My son was born in September of 2006. Same grade. My wife and I loosely run in the same social circle and I have personally heard the mom go on and on about how well little Timmy is doing in middle school. It's cringeworthy and reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer brags about his karate skills. Turns out he was competing against kids. |
2 years older? That’s not redshirting summer birthdays. Redshirted kids are typically just 12-13 months older than a handful of the very youngest students. |
+1 Her math is wrong. Summer/fall birthday kids either graduate HS at 17 or 18. |
Redshirting a March birthday boy is a little outside the norm but not by that much. He’ll turn 19 senior year of HS and be 19 at graduation. He’ll turn 20 freshman year of college. Not a huge deal IMO. Just worry about yourself and your own kid. Maybe there was something going on with that child early in elementary that you didn’t know about and he ended up repeating K or something like that. |
| I only know of one child who was redshirted and was born in May. He had some learning disabilities. |
Yeah, not sure how she gets 20. Unless she held him back one year, and subsequently his grades held him back another Our son has a late July birthday, and he's pretty small & immature. We're going to hold him back. But it just means he'll be 18 throughout his senior year, will graduate when he's 18, and then turn 19 over the summer.
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My early September boy was not ready for K. We held him out. He was still not totally ready the next year, but was by far more ready than he was. He has ADHD and we feel totally that we did the right thing for him and I was glad to have the choice.
My younger son would be totally ready to go now and if we could send him we would. Unfortunately, he's October b-day so we don't have that choice for him. |
I am worrying about my kid. I don't want him competing against a kid almost two years older. Not in sports or academics. It's a gross abuse. |
OP stated that they knew the family. The boy was fine, came from a privileged family, and was looking to extend their privilege further by redshirting. This is an actual issue. I don't think anyone has qualms with a disabled kid getting some help but most people do object to people using the 'normal aged kids' as fall guys for their own child's success. |
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We let our summer birthday boy stay on grade as youngest in class until 1st grade when he told us he really wanted to repeat. We red-shirted him and is doing very well in grade 2 this year. He would always be either the youngest or oldest - there's no good answer. I was youngest in my class and DH was oldest in his. I did very well and loved being youngest but I suspect my life would have turned out better if I had been held back. A lot of the decisions I've made in my life weren't necessarily thought out well - I think I would have benefited from an extra year of just being able to be me. I felt a lot of pressure academically and socially to achieve - I don't have a naturally strong sense of self and an extra year would have I think made me feel less pressured in many ways. My husband while not the high achiever I was, in his later years has done very well professionally and socially.
So philosophically speaking it's not always about having more money to red shirt - we tried not with our kid but if we ultimately might be doing so, easier and better earlier than later. It could have gone either way with benefits in both direction. It's a terrible position to be in really from our perspective. DD is December birthday and it's so much easier letting her be and no pressure on whether we made a "right" or "good" decision as parents. I think you can be anywhere and you'll find different classes with different variables - as long as you make the right decision for your son based on his personality/needs, you'll be fine. It will work out no matter what since there's no other way!! You can always try to stay on course and he's young enough you can red shirt at a later date. Our son was the youngest in grade one by 12-18 months which bothered me a lot but having repeated this year, he's now the oldest but knowing him as we do, I would say to those parents of kids 12-18 younger than him, he really belongs in grade 2 with their kids. Good luck! |
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One more thing - I'm pp - while our kid is not disabled or anything, he has speech articulation issues for which he receives speech therapy. He's now tested out of it but it's still not 100% (I think he was tested last at 93% but since academically they say it's not holding him back, he stops therapy) and he's on the short/average height for his age (appx 30% height). That being said, a lot of why we ultimately held him back is that I can tell you maturity wise DD at age 6 to me is older than him at age 8 (August birthday). His maturity level is like zero (ok maybe age 6-7) - he has no focus and I will likely have him tested for ADHD next year.
For us, like I said you can't see anything glaring in him needing to be held back except as his parents knowing what we know about him, it seems like it's right to do. He's academically on grade 2/3 but we also do a lot of extra work with him in reading/math to keep him there. We did not take the perspective of red shirting to give him any edge on academics - we struggled and it was and is always hell knowing there's never the right answer for him - we did it because a lot of signs point to us likely having to red shirt at some point and because he really felt he wanted to repeat first grade, we chose to do it now. You just never know why families do what they do and surely there are those who do it for the wrong reasons but please don't be so quick to judge! |
Education is not a competition. You don't know what was going on. Maybe the mom is just really proud that her kid got through some hard times when he was younger and is pleased that her kid has actually made it into middle school. Unless of course you are making this up wholesale, which is what I sort of tend to think. |
| Wherever you move there will be families that redshirt their summer birthday children (unless you move to a very low income area). So if you want to avoid it, move to the poorest area possible. |