Break up by text

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the circumstances. If it was pretty casual, I wouldn't mind a text, but would prefer a call. If it was a bit more serious, then be an adult and do it in person. It doesn't have to be dramatic, but be decent about it. I'm trying to end something that is not very serious, and it's been about 3 months. However, we've known each other for years, and we will be running into each other fairly often. I'd like to have a simple conversation, and he's full on ghosting me now. Preemptive strike I suppose. But not very grown up. At least I tried to take the high road.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's decent to do this via text at this stage. At least a phone call. Make it short, don't engage too much, be respectful.

Only exception would be if you feel he's dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I would prefer a text.

Me too. Both sending and receiving a breakup text.

Good God, its called common courtesy & consideration for another human that you've chosen to spend the past 3 months with. How completely self centred of you.

Let me know how that feels the first time a guy you really like cuts of communication with you like that.

My guess is you won't like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I would prefer a text.

Me too. Both sending and receiving a breakup text.

Good God, its called common courtesy & consideration for another human that you've chosen to spend the past 3 months with. How completely self centred of you.

Let me know how that feels the first time a guy you really like cuts of communication with you like that.

My guess is you won't like it.

But the flip side is weirdly selfish too. How would that go?

"Bob, can you meet me for coffee, we need to talk"
"Sure, let's meet after work at Starbucks"

You're both sitting there with your coffees.
"Bob, I just wanted to tell you that I think this isn't going to work for me and think we should stop seeing each other."

"Uh.... okay. Bye." [get's up and leaves thinking - why did she make me come all the way out here just to end things so I can turn around and go back home?]

[Anonymous]

Ending things in Starbucks is assholish too. Do it in private in someone's apartment or car.

I was broken up with once by text. It really hurt. It made me feel like the person did not give a damn about me. Don't do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ending things in Starbucks is assholish too. Do it in private in someone's apartment or car.

I was broken up with once by text. It really hurt. It made me feel like the person did not give a damn about me. Don't do that.

Terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

Look, breaking up hurts no matter if it is by text, by phone, by email, or in person. I would hate to be dragged out to see somebody and just have them break up with me. Text/phone call for a relationship that has barely started seems more sensible. If the other person really wants, then you can meet. But do it in a public place.

[Anonymous]

There's a big difference between a text and a phone call.

Doing it in public is terrible - the dumpee knows others are witnessing the dumping?

Do it in the dumpees apartment, ideally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and have broken up with two guys I had dated for ~3 months not in-person.

One I did over the phone as I knew he would want to discuss it/would want to hear a thorough and we spent almost every night together. The other was via text. We only saw each other about 2x per week. That was fine.

3 months is not that long. No need to be in-person.

That's cold. I pity the guy in intensive care whose life is in your hands. "No, just pull the plug. Yes, do it. One has to move on. Can I leave now? There's a singles cruise leaving Miami tomorrow."

This is hilariously dramatic. "I didn't get to harangue her to change her mind and bone me again, she's basically a murderess!"

No, I'm thinking more in terms of the poor guy she marries and who gets into a bad state. "Medical Bills from expensive surgery? No, let's send him to the farm now."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I would prefer a text.

Me too. Both sending and receiving a breakup text.

Good God, its called common courtesy & consideration for another human that you've chosen to spend the past 3 months with. How completely self centred of you.

Let me know how that feels the first time a guy you really like cuts of communication with you like that.

My guess is you won't like it.

PP here. I have been on both the receiving end and the giving end and I prefer it this way. It felt fine. I have no issues with it at all. Satisfied?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I would prefer a text.

Me too. Both sending and receiving a breakup text.

Good God, its called common courtesy & consideration for another human that you've chosen to spend the past 3 months with. How completely self centred of you.

Let me know how that feels the first time a guy you really like cuts of communication with you like that.

My guess is you won't like it.

But the flip side is weirdly selfish too. How would that go?

"Bob, can you meet me for coffee, we need to talk"
"Sure, let's meet after work at Starbucks"

You're both sitting there with your coffees.
"Bob, I just wanted to tell you that I think this isn't going to work for me and think we should stop seeing each other."

"Uh.... okay. Bye." [get's up and leaves thinking - why did she make me come all the way out here just to end things so I can turn around and go back home?]

I get it, but there's a huge difference between a cold, uncaring text that basically says I dont have enough respect for you to actually treat you civilly & making a phone call so he can hear the inflections of your voice & you don't come off as a cold hearted bitch.

Nobody said it had to be in person - over the phone is perfectly decent, but to allow Siri to deliver the message because you're (not YOU per se) a coward or too self absorbed to care about the other persons feelings, its just asking for karma to repay you the same way in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I would prefer a text.

Me too. Both sending and receiving a breakup text.

Good God, its called common courtesy & consideration for another human that you've chosen to spend the past 3 months with. How completely self centred of you.

Let me know how that feels the first time a guy you really like cuts of communication with you like that.

My guess is you won't like it.

But the flip side is weirdly selfish too. How would that go?

"Bob, can you meet me for coffee, we need to talk"
"Sure, let's meet after work at Starbucks"

You're both sitting there with your coffees.
"Bob, I just wanted to tell you that I think this isn't going to work for me and think we should stop seeing each other."

"Uh.... okay. Bye." [get's up and leaves thinking - why did she make me come all the way out here just to end things so I can turn around and go back home?]

I get it, but there's a huge difference between a cold, uncaring text that basically says I dont have enough respect for you to actually treat you civilly & making a phone call so he can hear the inflections of your voice & you don't come off as a cold hearted bitch.

Nobody said it had to be in person - over the phone is perfectly decent, but to allow Siri to deliver the message because you're (not YOU per se) a coward or too self absorbed to care about the other persons feelings, its just asking for karma to repay you the same way in the future.

God, men are so dramatic.