How common is it for lawyers to have affairs with paralegals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that lawyer is going to destroy his family and take it in the neck financially to trade his current wife for a paralegal?

If so, you are delusional.

He might use you for sex, but that's it.

Queue insecure biglaw widows

True though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is generally considered kind of sleazy for a lawyer to date a paralegal

You're right because I would never associate the terms "sleazy" and "lawyer" together.

[Anonymous]

Never happened in my 18 years in biglaw..

Maybe thirty years ago? I assume it happened. But not anymore. What’s changed? Paralegals used to be omnipresent in big law. Now you might have a few paralegals assigned to litigation, but all of the other hordes of paralegals have been replaced by associates and computers. I’m a transactional attorney, and we don’t use paralegals anymore. In fact, I needed one a couple years ago, and it was near impossible to find one in my firm - when I did, she was super old and highly incompetent, and screwed something up in a royal way. It’s the only time I have ever been yelled at by a client in my whole career!

Also, like in most professions, the split between the haves and have nots has grown in thirty years. Lawyers reside firmly in the one percent, while paralegals have two year associate degrees. There’s not a whole lot of natural interplay between those two classes anymore. Which is why ppl above re noting that lawyers date lawyers, but not paralegals.

Also, as much as tv likes to suggest otherwise, my experience with biglaw is that most layers are at least aspirationally very into their families and generally being pretty decent people. Sometimes long hours puts pressure on that. And in nyc, I notice a bit more bravado among male lawyers. But most lawyers are just former nerds who are trying to do good work and put in their hours, so they can get home to their spouse and kids. They’re not into sexual power plays in the office or triggering sexual harassment lawsuits. I’m sure examples exist of inappropriate behaviors, but I’m not super aware.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been a lawyer for over thirty years. I’ve never seen it and I’ve never seen lawyers even date paralegals or secretaries.

[Anonymous]

I was a paralegal for over a decade (CA and DC) and had 2 atty's try it, both in CA. Beyond that, I got flirted with a lot, but that's usually as far as it got because that's as far as I wanted it to go and decent people respect that. You're in close contact with each other. It's a work marriage already, and if it stays non-sexual, it usually works best that way.

I had to leave a CA firm (with a generous settlement) because of sexual harassment from an attorney who wanted way more than my best job performance.

Creepy people exist everywhere. Attorneys, the smart ones at least, seem to understand the ethical violations and consequences of an affair. Nobody who works that hard wants to throw it away for a lay. Now, for power, sure. That's why it's more common with the associates/partners, and the fallout and politics of it all can be a huge mess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a paralegal for over a decade (CA and DC) and had 2 atty's try it, both in CA. Beyond that, I got flirted with a lot, but that's usually as far as it got because that's as far as I wanted it to go and decent people respect that. You're in close contact with each other. It's a work marriage already, and if it stays non-sexual, it usually works best that way.

I had to leave a CA firm (with a generous settlement) because of sexual harassment from an attorney who wanted way more than my best job performance.

Creepy people exist everywhere. Attorneys, the smart ones at least, seem to understand the ethical violations and consequences of an affair. Nobody who works that hard wants to throw it away for a lay. Now, for power, sure. That's why it's more common with the associates/partners, and the fallout and politics of it all can be a huge mess!

I’d bet this was a smaller firm and/or twenty years ago? I just don’t think partners are “flirting” with paralegals in well run workplaces anymore.

[Anonymous]

About as common as dentist and hygienist.

Stop with these posts please.

[Anonymous]

Lawyer/lawyer affairs way more common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that lawyer is going to destroy his family and take it in the neck financially to trade his current wife for a paralegal?

If so, you are delusional.

He might use you for sex, but that's it.

Queue insecure biglaw widows

True though

*cue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a paralegal in the 80s. Several of my paralegal colleagues dated lawyers. Not aware of any affairs though. Definitely affairs among the lawyers.

+1

Same, in the 2000s.

[Anonymous]

Never. Have seen lawyers have affairs with each other. Assistants and lawyers. Office manager and lawyer. But never paralegal and lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never heard of this.
Lots of affairs between associates and partners, though.

This is definitely where the affairs are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a paralegal in the 80s. Several of my paralegal colleagues dated lawyers. Not aware of any affairs though. Definitely affairs among the lawyers.

My divorce lawyer in fairfax virginia dished about the opposing council and who she slept with… He told me how she slept with an associate in HIS OWN FIRM. I guess my lawyer told me this to either gossip or to let me know if the conflict. (?)

I was amused. She was/is sexy and a little trashy. I get it. I think divorce attorneys “get” each other.

[Anonymous]

I think divorce attorneys have no boundaries. Actually listen to what they say. It was not professional content in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Most DC nerdy lawyers are way, way too afraid of being sued for sexual harassment to have a sexual relationship with someone who is not his equivalent.
This was not the case 20 years ago, so times have changed. It may have been more common back then.