How common is it for lawyers to have affairs with paralegals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyers are a hierarchical group and are, frankly, classist. The lawyers work together, dine together, travel together, drink together, golf together, etc. The paralegals typically aren’t invited unless it’s necessitated by work. Lawyer with lawyer affairs aren’t uncommon. Lawyer affairs with paralegals rarely occur.

-Lawyer

+100

-also a Lawyer

Eh, I know a male associate engaged to a female associate who got one of the legal secretaries pregnant. Also this was in-house but 2 male attorneys (1 who was married) were both fired for sleeping with a paralegal.

I would fire any associate who made so many grammatical errors.

Lighten up, tough guy. This is a chat board

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How common is this?

Gross

15-20+++ yo age gap.

Try the marketing department. But those career women think the lawyers are too dull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-husband did this and admitted to me after the divorce was finalized. He was at a well-known boutique IP law firm.

She was younger, but looked old, and had 50-60 pounds on me…and not in the same social class at all.

He was an insecure man who used his power dynamic to have “sexual transactions”. He said he didn’t know who he was and eventually broke it off.

Absolutely destroyed his life over being delusional… so yes, it happens. Cut your loses on someone like that though. They are dumber than a box of rocks and shouldn’t be practicing law.

Oh, well ...yuck. She most have been gross. I mean ... ewwwww ... a paralegal. So low compared to a wife.

Lol. Ok. Can't imagine why your DH wanted someone else... doesn't sound like he was at all delusional.

Different poster- you’re an ass
Any person who knowingly cheats, has an affair and breaks up a family IS Trash, low class, immoral, ugly soul.
Adultery is a horrible sin that used to be punished by death. Do not victim blame

You completely missed the point.

What is your point? Please let me know. I was a super trophy wife plus had a career, while also being ultra supportive of his dreams. I’m 115lbs, ultra fit, took care of myself and the house to a tee. And this woman was the overweight sloppy drunk at the Christmas party that he made fun of on the way home. He had a mid-life crisis and needed his ego stroked because he had a fragile sense of self. and the first thing he said was that he felt insecure as a man. This is what you run from ladies. Sometimes you are on the wrong life path and the trash takes itself out. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the cool wife that drinks whisky with the guys, talks about cars/planes/boats, golfs, and awesome skier and snowboarder, scuba dive. And I have all the family money too so he don’t have to work slave firm hours. I’m not some lame housewife you go cheat on. He was the dork attorney that was insecure. Period. You have no point.

All of my new men are better! Amen!

FWIW, you sound like a shallow pick-me with loads of internalized misogyny.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't happen. It's like hiring nannies, always hire the old women!

[Anonymous]

Yes, obviously. In biglaw partners sleeping with paralegals and marketing/hiring folks was common. And that's only the ones everyone knew about. Average age gap of 10-15 years I'd say. Lots of opportunities around recruiting trips and trials. But also lots of affairs between attorneys. Attorneys are better at hiding it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-husband did this and admitted to me after the divorce was finalized. He was at a well-known boutique IP law firm.

She was younger, but looked old, and had 50-60 pounds on me…and not in the same social class at all.

He was an insecure man who used his power dynamic to have “sexual transactions”. He said he didn’t know who he was and eventually broke it off.

Absolutely destroyed his life over being delusional… so yes, it happens. Cut your loses on someone like that though. They are dumber than a box of rocks and shouldn’t be practicing law.

Oh, well ...yuck. She most have been gross. I mean ... ewwwww ... a paralegal. So low compared to a wife.

Lol. Ok. Can't imagine why your DH wanted someone else... doesn't sound like he was at all delusional.

Different poster- you’re an ass
Any person who knowingly cheats, has an affair and breaks up a family IS Trash, low class, immoral, ugly soul.
Adultery is a horrible sin that used to be punished by death. Do not victim blame

You completely missed the point.

What is your point? Please let me know. I was a super trophy wife plus had a career, while also being ultra supportive of his dreams. I’m 115lbs, ultra fit, took care of myself and the house to a tee. And this woman was the overweight sloppy drunk at the Christmas party that he made fun of on the way home. He had a mid-life crisis and needed his ego stroked because he had a fragile sense of self. and the first thing he said was that he felt insecure as a man. This is what you run from ladies. Sometimes you are on the wrong life path and the trash takes itself out. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the cool wife that drinks whisky with the guys, talks about cars/planes/boats, golfs, and awesome skier and snowboarder, scuba dive. And I have all the family money too so he don’t have to work slave firm hours. I’m not some lame housewife you go cheat on. He was the dork attorney that was insecure. Period. You have no point.

All of my new men are better! Amen!

FWIW, you sound like a shallow pick-me with loads of internalized misogyny.

Yeah I started laughing out loud when she said she was a "cool wife."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-husband did this and admitted to me after the divorce was finalized. He was at a well-known boutique IP law firm.

She was younger, but looked old, and had 50-60 pounds on me…and not in the same social class at all.

He was an insecure man who used his power dynamic to have “sexual transactions”. He said he didn’t know who he was and eventually broke it off.

Absolutely destroyed his life over being delusional… so yes, it happens. Cut your loses on someone like that though. They are dumber than a box of rocks and shouldn’t be practicing law.

Oh, well ...yuck. She most have been gross. I mean ... ewwwww ... a paralegal. So low compared to a wife.

Lol. Ok. Can't imagine why your DH wanted someone else... doesn't sound like he was at all delusional.

Different poster- you’re an ass
Any person who knowingly cheats, has an affair and breaks up a family IS Trash, low class, immoral, ugly soul.
Adultery is a horrible sin that used to be punished by death. Do not victim blame

You completely missed the point.

What is your point? Please let me know. I was a super trophy wife plus had a career, while also being ultra supportive of his dreams. I’m 115lbs, ultra fit, took care of myself and the house to a tee. And this woman was the overweight sloppy drunk at the Christmas party that he made fun of on the way home. He had a mid-life crisis and needed his ego stroked because he had a fragile sense of self. and the first thing he said was that he felt insecure as a man. This is what you run from ladies. Sometimes you are on the wrong life path and the trash takes itself out. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the cool wife that drinks whisky with the guys, talks about cars/planes/boats, golfs, and awesome skier and snowboarder, scuba dive. And I have all the family money too so he don’t have to work slave firm hours. I’m not some lame housewife you go cheat on. He was the dork attorney that was insecure. Period. You have no point.

All of my new men are better! Amen!

FWIW, you sound like a shallow pick-me with loads of internalized misogyny.

Yeah I started laughing out loud when she said she was a "cool wife."

She’s not like other wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-husband did this and admitted to me after the divorce was finalized. He was at a well-known boutique IP law firm.

She was younger, but looked old, and had 50-60 pounds on me…and not in the same social class at all.

He was an insecure man who used his power dynamic to have “sexual transactions”. He said he didn’t know who he was and eventually broke it off.

Absolutely destroyed his life over being delusional… so yes, it happens. Cut your loses on someone like that though. They are dumber than a box of rocks and shouldn’t be practicing law.

Oh, well ...yuck. She most have been gross. I mean ... ewwwww ... a paralegal. So low compared to a wife.

Lol. Ok. Can't imagine why your DH wanted someone else... doesn't sound like he was at all delusional.

Different poster- you’re an ass
Any person who knowingly cheats, has an affair and breaks up a family IS Trash, low class, immoral, ugly soul.
Adultery is a horrible sin that used to be punished by death. Do not victim blame

You completely missed the point.

What is your point? Please let me know. I was a super trophy wife plus had a career, while also being ultra supportive of his dreams. I’m 115lbs, ultra fit, took care of myself and the house to a tee. And this woman was the overweight sloppy drunk at the Christmas party that he made fun of on the way home. He had a mid-life crisis and needed his ego stroked because he had a fragile sense of self. and the first thing he said was that he felt insecure as a man. This is what you run from ladies. Sometimes you are on the wrong life path and the trash takes itself out. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the cool wife that drinks whisky with the guys, talks about cars/planes/boats, golfs, and awesome skier and snowboarder, scuba dive. And I have all the family money too so he don’t have to work slave firm hours. I’m not some lame housewife you go cheat on. He was the dork attorney that was insecure. Period. You have no point.

All of my new men are better! Amen!

FWIW, you sound like a shallow pick-me with loads of internalized misogyny.

Yeah I started laughing out loud when she said she was a "cool wife."

She’s not like other wives.

MBA, $300k+ per year, and I support all of the ladies going through this… not a pick me… lol.

I don’t support any attorneys doing this to their wives. It’s wrong! And people are getting in my face first. Just stop!

[Anonymous]

I have only seen this happen, and rarely, when the paralegal is an early twenties college grad who plans to go to law school, and the attorney is a junior or mid level associate. So, say, a 23 year old paralegal who graduated from a good college and is on her way to law school and a 26 year old associate. That's fine because the paralegal is planning on moving on from the firm anyway and there's not some weird age gap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-husband did this and admitted to me after the divorce was finalized. He was at a well-known boutique IP law firm.

She was younger, but looked old, and had 50-60 pounds on me…and not in the same social class at all.

He was an insecure man who used his power dynamic to have “sexual transactions”. He said he didn’t know who he was and eventually broke it off.

Absolutely destroyed his life over being delusional… so yes, it happens. Cut your loses on someone like that though. They are dumber than a box of rocks and shouldn’t be practicing law.

Oh, well ...yuck. She most have been gross. I mean ... ewwwww ... a paralegal. So low compared to a wife.

Lol. Ok. Can't imagine why your DH wanted someone else... doesn't sound like he was at all delusional.

Different poster- you’re an ass
Any person who knowingly cheats, has an affair and breaks up a family IS Trash, low class, immoral, ugly soul.
Adultery is a horrible sin that used to be punished by death. Do not victim blame

You completely missed the point.

What is your point? Please let me know. I was a super trophy wife plus had a career, while also being ultra supportive of his dreams. I’m 115lbs, ultra fit, took care of myself and the house to a tee. And this woman was the overweight sloppy drunk at the Christmas party that he made fun of on the way home. He had a mid-life crisis and needed his ego stroked because he had a fragile sense of self. and the first thing he said was that he felt insecure as a man. This is what you run from ladies. Sometimes you are on the wrong life path and the trash takes itself out. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the cool wife that drinks whisky with the guys, talks about cars/planes/boats, golfs, and awesome skier and snowboarder, scuba dive. And I have all the family money too so he don’t have to work slave firm hours. I’m not some lame housewife you go cheat on. He was the dork attorney that was insecure. Period. You have no point.

All of my new men are better! Amen!

FWIW, you sound like a shallow pick-me with loads of internalized misogyny.

Yeah I started laughing out loud when she said she was a "cool wife."

She’s not like other wives.

MBA, $300k+ per year, and I support all of the ladies going through this… not a pick me… lol.

I don’t support any attorneys doing this to their wives. It’s wrong! And people are getting in my face first. Just stop!

I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say but there are lot of professionally accomplished wives. Strange that it seems like an aberration to you. Must be the company you keep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have only seen this happen, and rarely, when the paralegal is an early twenties college grad who plans to go to law school, and the attorney is a junior or mid level associate. So, say, a 23 year old paralegal who graduated from a good college and is on her way to law school and a 26 year old associate. That's fine because the paralegal is planning on moving on from the firm anyway and there's not some weird age gap.

Most of the hooking up that I saw was within the paralegal group. A lot of kids in their first job making reasonably good money; mid-level paralegals about to check out (law school, other grad school, sick of the law and leaving); etc. Quite the parties that paralegals have been known to throw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-husband did this and admitted to me after the divorce was finalized. He was at a well-known boutique IP law firm.

She was younger, but looked old, and had 50-60 pounds on me…and not in the same social class at all.

He was an insecure man who used his power dynamic to have “sexual transactions”. He said he didn’t know who he was and eventually broke it off.

Absolutely destroyed his life over being delusional… so yes, it happens. Cut your loses on someone like that though. They are dumber than a box of rocks and shouldn’t be practicing law.

Oh, well ...yuck. She most have been gross. I mean ... ewwwww ... a paralegal. So low compared to a wife.

Lol. Ok. Can't imagine why your DH wanted someone else... doesn't sound like he was at all delusional.

Different poster- you’re an ass
Any person who knowingly cheats, has an affair and breaks up a family IS Trash, low class, immoral, ugly soul.
Adultery is a horrible sin that used to be punished by death. Do not victim blame

You completely missed the point.

What is your point? Please let me know. I was a super trophy wife plus had a career, while also being ultra supportive of his dreams. I’m 115lbs, ultra fit, took care of myself and the house to a tee. And this woman was the overweight sloppy drunk at the Christmas party that he made fun of on the way home. He had a mid-life crisis and needed his ego stroked because he had a fragile sense of self. and the first thing he said was that he felt insecure as a man. This is what you run from ladies. Sometimes you are on the wrong life path and the trash takes itself out. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the cool wife that drinks whisky with the guys, talks about cars/planes/boats, golfs, and awesome skier and snowboarder, scuba dive. And I have all the family money too so he don’t have to work slave firm hours. I’m not some lame housewife you go cheat on. He was the dork attorney that was insecure. Period. You have no point.

All of my new men are better! Amen!

FWIW, you sound like a shallow pick-me with loads of internalized misogyny.

Yeah I started laughing out loud when she said she was a "cool wife."

She’s not like other wives.

MBA, $300k+ per year, and I support all of the ladies going through this… not a pick me… lol.

I don’t support any attorneys doing this to their wives. It’s wrong! And people are getting in my face first. Just stop!

I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say but there are lot of professionally accomplished wives. Strange that it seems like an aberration to you. Must be the company you keep.

I don’t know why everyone ripped into me in the first place (if you fully look through the history) — Peace out! On to happy more positive places.

People who get cheated on are not at fault.

Happy International Women’s day on March 8th….

[Anonymous]

biglaw lawyer of 20 years.... Law firms barely even have paralegals anymore. At least not on the regulatory and corporate sides. Are there still a lot on the litigation side?

And those post-college 2 year "legal clerk/paralegal" jobs that folks are mentioning.... those disappeared 20 years ago, to my knowledge. In my department, if you were an an attorney doing it with the paralegal, that would mean you were banging 62 year old Patty. Because there are no other options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have only seen this happen, and rarely, when the paralegal is an early twenties college grad who plans to go to law school, and the attorney is a junior or mid level associate. So, say, a 23 year old paralegal who graduated from a good college and is on her way to law school and a 26 year old associate. That's fine because the paralegal is planning on moving on from the firm anyway and there's not some weird age gap.

I was the previous poster who worked as a paralegal in my 20s, the paralegals I know who did sleep around were in their 20s as well and did eventually go to law school, and one did marry an associate at the firm but both left the firm by the time they got married.

Honestly most lawyers won't admit they slept with a paralegal though, but it definitely happens.

[Anonymous]

I've been a legal secretary for 20 years and I have never encountered this either. It's more likely that they would end up dating or having an affair with a fellow lawyer.