1 vs. 2 siblings

[Anonymous]

Extremely grateful to be one of three. I’m the youngest of boy girl girl. Four and a half years from oldest to me. Currently having a tough time with my brother so glad my sister’s in the picture. Wished for more siblings growing up but now I think 3 total is lovely. My in-laws were stretched really thin with 4.

[Anonymous]

My mom is 1 of 6. I am 1 of 2- there are pros and cons. I never wished for more other than my sister but I think we would both make good members of larger families if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1 of four here, my husband is one of three. We could not IMAGINE having only 2 kids. Siblings are one of the best gifts you can give your children

how many kids do you have? where do you live? do you work?

2; currently TTC a third. Falls Church. And yes, but part time

So if you can’t have your third you can imagine being content with your current family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1 of four here, my husband is one of three. We could not IMAGINE having only 2 kids. Siblings are one of the best gifts you can give your children

how many kids do you have? where do you live? do you work?

2; currently TTC a third. Falls Church. And yes, but part time

So if you can’t have your third you can imagine being content with your current family?

*cant imagine

[Anonymous]

I think 1 is good. With 3 kids, you might get one feeling left out.

[Anonymous]

Only here.

When I was a child I wanted a sibling, but that was because I wanted a BABY in the house.

As an adult, I see the benefit of being an only, especially because both my parents have had estranged and/or difficult relationships with their siblings at times. I also have a supportive husband and a family of my own, so I don't feel alone. I don't think that I will miss my parents more when they're gone because I don't have a sibling. In fact, I somewhat appreciate not having to share those memories/attention. It is what it is.

I have an only, age 9. He does not want a sibling. I'm sure he'd have been a good brother though. But he is also a good only. Again: it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Haven’t read all the responses, but in my experience seeing kids interact with mine, the children who come from larger families are far more mature and far better adjusted. They seem to be kinder with my children and more accepting of others who might be different from them, or kids who are a different age. (I have two kids and feel like I made a mistake by only having two.). The parents of only children seem to have to work hard to find play dates to keep the singleton occupied and, while they haven’t said it outright, it must take some work to keep the family/parents from making everything about this one child. The parents I know with only one child end up focusing way too intensely on the child. At some point in adulthood, some of these children I know will be in for a shock when they discover that it really isn’t all about them. I don’t think it has to be this way - it’s up to the individual parents to restrain themselves and keep this natural tendency (and the pressures of current culture, which also push parents to do this) in check. Have more than two is my vote!

[Anonymous]

I had three siblings, the youngest is 20 years younger than me. Now I only have two, because my brother closest to me in age passed away unexpectedly almost 14 years ago when he was 30. I am so thankful for my remaining sister and brother.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of three and we always had shifting alliances. I can't imagine having fewer or more, but only because it's simply what I know. As a child, I wished I had a younger sibling because at some point, I didn't like being the youngest. The sibling experience largely depends on the parents and personalities of the kids, but I do think I learned a lot from them - and got to learn from watching them both in their successes and mistakes. Today, they are there for me when I really need them, even if they have their limitations (limitations due to the effects of having a father who had issues).

[Anonymous]

I am one of three and DH is one of three as well. I get along well with both my sisters and am very close to my younger sister, always have been despite our 10 year age difference.

DH’s sister is great and his brother has a personality disorder and we are estranged.

My MIL is one of four and her siblings and DH’s cousins on that side are all very close. We are close to his cousins and their kids as well. Love the big family but hard to ensure the mix works. There is a lot of crazy mixed in with the wonderful in DH’s large extended family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1 of four here, my husband is one of three. We could not IMAGINE having only 2 kids. Siblings are one of the best gifts you can give your children

how many kids do you have? where do you live? do you work?

2; currently TTC a third. Falls Church. And yes, but part time

So if you can’t have your third you can imagine being content with your current family?

*cant imagine

hahahaha as if PP has even considered that they might not be able to have a third. fertility issues are for plebs!

[Anonymous]

I'm one of two and I always wished that I had more siblings. Specifically, I always wished I had a sister. As an adult, I wish there were more of us. When I was a kid, both of my parents came from large families, so holiday gatherings were an event where we were surrounded by cousins and aunts and uncles. We just don't have that with just two siblings in the family.

My husband was one of three... but he was the baby by 9 years, so he was practically raised as an only child. He also wishes he had more siblings close to his age.

[Anonymous]

I’m the youngest of 6– and we still all get a long, holidays are very fun and I loved growing up with a big family even though my parents were stretched very thin financially.
I don’t think my parents did anything in particular to foster the healthy relationships we all have with each other- maybe they didn’t make us competitive with each other? I’m not sure, but I would love to have a big family. That being said my husband is happy with the two we have and does not want anymore. Hopefully they will get along! He only has one sibling but even though they get along they still barely talk except an occasional phone call checking in with each other here and there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the youngest of 6– and we still all get a long, holidays are very fun and I loved growing up with a big family even though my parents were stretched very thin financially.
I don’t think my parents did anything in particular to foster the healthy relationships we all have with each other- maybe they didn’t make us competitive with each other? I’m not sure, but I would love to have a big family. That being said my husband is happy with the two we have and does not want anymore. Hopefully they will get along! He only has one sibling but even though they get along they still barely talk except an occasional phone call checking in with each other here and there.

This is the key. Parents that foster competition and create resentment through favoritism basically ensure their children will never be close as adults. MIL and DIL have been periodically estranged from their siblings and now DH and his brother are estranged. They always point out how different (and wrong!) their siblings’ behaviors and choices are, rather than appreciating what each contributes to their lives. It is so different from the “team family” attitude my military family grew up with. There was never a question of whether there was love or that the family would endure.

[Anonymous]

I have one sibling, never wished for another. Often wished to be an only child, like I was for the first 5 years before they had him.