1 vs. 2 siblings

[Anonymous]

I think like most family dynamics, this is less dependent on the number of people and more dependent on personalities involved.

I am the youngest of 3. I have loving and supportive relationships with both my siblings. A little closer to my sister (she's the middle and lives close to me) but I adore my brother and his wife too. We all fought like crazy at times growing up. But unlike a PP, the advantage of 3 was that you couldn't be a little jerk, because the other two would gang up on you to keep you in line. Our alliances were always shifting depending on which kid was being the biggest jerk. You had to play by the rules to be in the club essentially. But we were good kids, and loved each other, even if we fought.

Being the youngest of 3 makes me really long for a 3rd child. I have 2 awesome kids already. But I'm just not really sure a 3rd is in the cards for us.

I think the biggest factor that's kept us all close as adults is we each married someone who compliments us, but also compliments our family. All three of us are married with kids and all us really enjoy each married-in spouse. Our kids all get along really well and love each other like mad too, so that helps immensely.

[Anonymous]

I have one sibling (we are very different but get along well) and have never in my life wished for more.

[Anonymous]

DH and I both only have one younger sister and we wish we had several. Holidays are extremely lonely and adult centered with just our sibling and parents. We have 2 kids now and plan on at least 1 more. Our kids won't ever have cousins, whereas DH and I have about 20 each.

[Anonymous]

I have one sibling. We are sisters and one year apart. we are very different, but we get along quite well. She lives in New England and we vistas 4 or 5 times a year and talk on Facetime nearly everyday. It helps that our children are close enough in age. I love her DH and our DH’s get along well too.

I never longed for another sibling, our family seemed to be the correct size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts make me really sad.

I am the youngest of 4 and my husband is the oldest of 2. I am close with my family and his family. We make an effort to see each other as much as possible throughout the year and have a great time each and every time. We also have a group texting group (for both families) where we all share good news or wish good luck, happy birthday, etc. It's a nice and easy way to stay in touch quickly. Of course there is the occasional drama and misunderstandings, but those are resolved quickly, usually with some good-natured humor thrown in!

It makes me really sad that those posting here are not close with their siblings and have bad feelings. Try and do better with your own kids - encourage fun and happiness. Family is a wonderful thing to have in our life - cherish it while it's there!

Just because people are related does not mean they have compatible personalities. Each sibling is unique. You get what you get. Sure, you will encourage closeness when they are young. But they will grow up and lead their own lives. They may or may not be close.

This is certainly true and no one can force relationships because that would lead to resentments. However, fostering a sense that family is important is what I was trying to get at (not very articulately....too early for my brain...). I am different than my siblings in many ways and my DH is different from his sister, but there was always an expectation of respect for those differences in our families and an expectation that family will always be there. I also understand that this doesn't always happen in families for a variety of reasons and that is what makes me sad. I can understand not being close to a sibling or relative because of poor behavior or something else egregious, but I don't always understand animosity simply because a sibling lives differently or has a different personality...

[Anonymous]

I have two siblings. We are pretty close but I am closer to my sister because we are closer in age and both women. I enjoyed being 1 of 3. But my grandparents paid for the girls college (died when my brother was very young) and my parents are not paying for any of my kids to go to college. So it’s 1 or 2 kids for me!

[Anonymous]

I'm an only child. Always longed for a sibling. I don't recommend being an only. It's really difficult at holidays/milestone times like birthdays because my parents live on the West Coast and only travel to see us once a year, usually in the fall. I feel sad that our holidays are all very small. If I had a sibling, I would have more family and my kids would have more family. It's very lonely being an only.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of two and we are just way too different to get along in adulthood. Same for my spouse, although he was more open to trying but unless he was going to give money his sibling wasn't interested. We had four, in hopes of raising chances that someone would get along with someone in adulthood. If it doesn't work then so be it, but we gave it a try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the more siblings you have the better, especially when your parents are old and need to be taken care of, the load financial, emotional and physical can be shared.

Ha, sounds good in theory. The reality is the more siblings the more opportunity for egos and entitlement to get in the way. I am one of three and we all do not get a long. My husband is one of four and they all don’t get along, there is property to be divided and it is going to be a war to get it done because of the cast of characters.

My mom had five siblings. She ended up doing all the work anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an only child. Always longed for a sibling. I don't recommend being an only. It's really difficult at holidays/milestone times like birthdays because my parents live on the West Coast and only travel to see us once a year, usually in the fall. I feel sad that our holidays are all very small. If I had a sibling, I would have more family and my kids would have more family. It's very lonely being an only.

My husband has three siblings. None of them travel to his parents' for the holidays, so it's always just us anyway. Don't assume that siblings = big, close family.

[Anonymous]

I think this is one of those things - like the genders of your kids, once you have them - where it's hard to imagine anything other than what you know. I have a brother and we are SO different on the outside - one athletic, sociable, emotional and the other brilliant, intensely stoic etc. But we had a few family tragedies including the deaths of both our parents and are reasonably close as adults.

I can't fathom another kid in that dynamic.

[Anonymous]

1 of four here, my husband is one of three. We could not IMAGINE having only 2 kids. Siblings are one of the best gifts you can give your children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1 of four here, my husband is one of three. We could not IMAGINE having only 2 kids. Siblings are one of the best gifts you can give your children

how many kids do you have? where do you live? do you work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an only child. Always longed for a sibling. I don't recommend being an only. It's really difficult at holidays/milestone times like birthdays because my parents live on the West Coast and only travel to see us once a year, usually in the fall. I feel sad that our holidays are all very small. If I had a sibling, I would have more family and my kids would have more family. It's very lonely being an only.

My husband has three siblings. None of them travel to his parents' for the holidays, so it's always just us anyway. Don't assume that siblings = big, close family.

Well - I think a lot of this depends on how you raise them / what their childhood is like / how fun and engaged you remain as you age. I HATE that I only have one sibling - going home is really boring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1 of four here, my husband is one of three. We could not IMAGINE having only 2 kids. Siblings are one of the best gifts you can give your children

how many kids do you have? where do you live? do you work?

2; currently TTC a third. Falls Church. And yes, but part time