1 vs. 2 siblings

[Anonymous]

For those of you with 1 sibling, do you ever wish you had more? For those with 2 siblings, do you ever wish you had fewer? Trying decide how many kids to have and wanted to hear some perspectives on adult relationships. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I think the more siblings you have the better, especially when your parents are old and need to be taken care of, the load financial, emotional and physical can be shared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the more siblings you have the better, especially when your parents are old and need to be taken care of, the load financial, emotional and physical can be shared.

Ha, sounds good in theory. The reality is the more siblings the more opportunity for egos and entitlement to get in the way. I am one of three and we all do not get a long. My husband is one of four and they all don’t get along, there is property to be divided and it is going to be a war to get it done because of the cast of characters.

[Anonymous]

I have never once wished for more siblings. Cousins, yes! Siblings, heck no. I enjoy big family gatherings for an hour or two at a time, but I have enough disagreement with the 1 sister I have that I don't need to add more to the mix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never once wished for more siblings. Cousins, yes! Siblings, heck no. I enjoy big family gatherings for an hour or two at a time, but I have enough disagreement with the 1 sister I have that I don't need to add more to the mix.

+1.

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty happy with one sibling. It's hard to imagine life with more than one

[Anonymous]

I have 3 siblings and I'm not close to any of them. I'm the only sister, they're all brothers. They don't all get along all the time either.

It has made me very content with the one child I currently have, and killed my desire to ever have any more kids. Plus, my brothers have grown up to be a burden on my parents financially and emotionally, and cause my parents a whole lot of unnecessary grief.

I feel that the more kids you have, the higher the chance for drama, special needs, mental illness, and/or at least one kid in some way becoming a tremendous burden and liability to you. Call me selfish, but after seeing what my parents are dealing with, I'm not taking any chances.

Plus, once your kids all grow up, there is no guarantee they will like you or each other, so why even bother spending the time, energy or $$$ on having and raising a bunch of them. My brothers treat my dad like crap because my mom taught them to hate him, and they treat me like crap for the same reason.

[Anonymous]

I'm the youngest of three. I recommend two. I'm the odd one out. Get ganged up on. Don't like it. I think that is less likely to happen with two.

[Anonymous]

Youngest of 5 here and it makes me sad the extent to which we all don't get along. I am close with one sibling.

[Anonymous]

I'm the youngest of three and as a kid I always wanted more siblings. My sisters are a good chunk older than me, so they had built in playmates on trips and I didn't. I wanted someone near my age!

As an adult-it's a good number. We all get along fine, though we are not super close. I'm closer to both sisters than they are to each other these days. My dad is in poor health, and I'm glad to have other people to confer with and to be able to visit and help out my mom with caretaking (though only one of my sisters is close enough to visit regularly).

My far away sister has 4 and her life is total chaos. Not just because of the four kids, but it doesn't help. I wouldn't recommend it unless you're either very organized or can pay for a lot of help. It also makes traveling much harder.

[Anonymous]

I am one of 3 and my husband is one of 4. We have 2 kids. Had we started you get we might have had more, but we are very happy with our family.

Despite my husband being 1 of 4 - caring for his parents falls largely on us since we live the closest and I have a flexible job. I wish we got more help sometimes but overall they are lovely people so I try to just enjoy the time with them.

[Anonymous]

Both my DH and I are one of three. Never wanted more or less. Never thought about it except my one Aunt had 13 and I knew I didn't want that! One sib left the family so it is up to me and other sib to take care of parents. My DH is the youngest and only boy so I'm sure felt left out but, he loves his sisters.

Have the kids you want and can afford both emotionally and financially. Don't worry about future sibling relationships too much!

[Anonymous]

I am one of two, and my sister is six years older. I wish I had another sibling closer in age to me. I felt like an only child once she moved out of the house at 18. I have three children myself and love the dynamic. However, my mom and dad were trying to have more kids with little success and I am lucky to have made an arrival at all, and I am grateful for a healthy sibling! It's nice to know that as my parents age, I will have help caring for them.

[Anonymous]

These posts make me really sad.

I am the youngest of 4 and my husband is the oldest of 2. I am close with my family and his family. We make an effort to see each other as much as possible throughout the year and have a great time each and every time. We also have a group texting group (for both families) where we all share good news or wish good luck, happy birthday, etc. It's a nice and easy way to stay in touch quickly. Of course there is the occasional drama and misunderstandings, but those are resolved quickly, usually with some good-natured humor thrown in!

It makes me really sad that those posting here are not close with their siblings and have bad feelings. Try and do better with your own kids - encourage fun and happiness. Family is a wonderful thing to have in our life - cherish it while it's there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts make me really sad.

I am the youngest of 4 and my husband is the oldest of 2. I am close with my family and his family. We make an effort to see each other as much as possible throughout the year and have a great time each and every time. We also have a group texting group (for both families) where we all share good news or wish good luck, happy birthday, etc. It's a nice and easy way to stay in touch quickly. Of course there is the occasional drama and misunderstandings, but those are resolved quickly, usually with some good-natured humor thrown in!

It makes me really sad that those posting here are not close with their siblings and have bad feelings. Try and do better with your own kids - encourage fun and happiness. Family is a wonderful thing to have in our life - cherish it while it's there!

Just because people are related does not mean they have compatible personalities. Each sibling is unique. You get what you get. Sure, you will encourage closeness when they are young. But they will grow up and lead their own lives. They may or may not be close.