An honest answer from straight men, please.

[Anonymous]

I wear flats and have short hair just to weed out the above types

Your call. Don't complain that you feel invisible to men if you're taking deliberate steps to be not noticed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you all fixated on the physicality of your partner or does personality, sass, and intelligence play into your attraction? What happens when your partner gets older? Do you still love her in the same way? People who hate older women are not allowed to answer.

I need to be attracted to you but at the same time I get that at our age flat stomachs are over-rated. Just be enthusiastic in the sack.

[Anonymous]

Physical attraction matters,but the personal relationship carries the day. I low you didn’t ask it, but as an aside, I’ve never found myself long-termsttracted to any self-described sassy woman.

Hard to express in words, but I’ve personally found women who view themselves as sassy tend to turn the sass on their men and it morphs into being combative. Not saying that’s you, but.....

[Anonymous]

No bigger turn-off than an older woman who is "sassy" and thinks she is intelligent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends. If you marry a woman primarily for her physical traits (like she's hot but a bitch with a limited personality), then when she gets older, there's nothing left to love. This type of situation is common and the man will trade her in for a newer model.

If you married a woman for her personality (obviously some physical attraction), then age isn't really a factor.

Just look around, there are plenty of married couples where neither of them is attractive to anyone but each other. Those marriages usually last a lifetime.

+1

This is exactly how I read OP's post. OP, you need to find someone who can "keep up" with your "sass" - it has to do with many factors, but compatibility (and how is mother acted/was treated by his dad) is extremely important (for better, or worse - some guys go for the same as their mom, some opposite - for good reason). There are a million reason why marriages last 20+ years. You can't narrow it down to one thing. What looks like a very unlikely couple would shock you, behind closed doors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you all fixated on the physicality of your partner or does personality, sass, and intelligence play into your attraction? What happens when your partner gets older? Do you still love her in the same way? People who hate older women are not allowed to answer.

I need to be attracted to you but at the same time I get that at our age flat stomachs are over-rated. Just be enthusiastic in the sack.

+1

No one wants a bitch at home, flat stomach or not - it's just not as important as you think it is. Can you deal with a guy who looks normal on the outside, but might have enormous "quirks"/drawbacks going on on his inside (heart and brain)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the emotional/intellectual chemistry is there, and you're making an honest effort to take care of yourself, that would be more than enough for me to love you forever.

Having sass and intelligence and a great personality is fine, but for me, if the chemistry and connection isn't there, a well preserved body probably wouldn't make up for it.

That being said, I think if you want to be *desired* you need to take care of yourself, whether you're a man or woman. That doesn't mean having a six pack, or running marathons. Just care for your body, and be confident about how you look. That's hot.

+1

That, plus you can't buy a good, compatible personality. Some women are just too high maintenance (they would not admit this, of course) - but high maintenance takes more than a lot of money - it is physically and psychologically exhausting.

[Anonymous]

As I man with a kink (that stared when I was 15 or 16) for saggy boobs, stretch marks, unshaven between legs and small muffin tops; my DW is definitely becoming more attractive as she approaches 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you all fixated on the physicality of your partner or does personality, sass, and intelligence play into your attraction? What happens when your partner gets older? Do you still love her in the same way? People who hate older women are not allowed to answer.

If you're fat, wrinkled, and poorly dressed (like so many women your age who basically give up) then no amount of personality and intelligence is going to make up for it.

Lose the sass. It's annoying. No man wants sass no matter how hot you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you all fixated on the physicality of your partner or does personality, sass, and intelligence play into your attraction? What happens when your partner gets older? Do you still love her in the same way? People who hate older women are not allowed to answer.

If you're fat, wrinkled, and poorly dressed (like so many women your age who basically give up) then no amount of personality and intelligence is going to make up for it.

Lose the sass. It's annoying. No man wants sass no matter how hot you are.

Hater

[Anonymous]

Fat, wrinkled and poorly dressed...that's me!!!

And trust me, it is TOTALLY working as a man-repellent! I had some pretty awesome sex earlier in my life, and that was cool, but now I am just plain happy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fat, wrinkled and poorly dressed...that's me!!!

And trust me, it is TOTALLY working as a man-repellent! I had some pretty awesome sex earlier in my life, and that was cool, but now I am just plain happy!

Happy single, and posting on a relationship forum? Go be single.

[Anonymous]

What exactly is "sass" in a 40+ yr old woman? Trying to picture this and all
I can think of is 5 yr old girls with smart mouths who defy their teachers.

Examples, please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is "sass" in a 40+ yr old woman? Trying to picture this and all
I can think of is 5 yr old girls with smart mouths who defy their teachers.

Examples, please?

I see sassy types in DC-area coffee shops regularly. Usually sitting across a table from a more docile friend. Running off her mouth at a louder than desirable level. Mostly complaining about one thing or another, often the most trifling thing. Occasionally taking a bite of a muffin and letting a couple crumbs fly when she starts talking again. Not letting her friend speak much. A little pudgy. Flyaway hair with a touch of gray.

[Anonymous]

I will take an average looking woman in reasonably good shape who is fun and enthusiastic about sex over a hot, ice queen