Holidays with “perfect Mom” SIL

[Anonymous]

PP above, either it's another family member, also present during the Holidays, or it's a typo and OP is talking about the same two SILs.

Either way, it doesn't change that OP has to relax and not to take things personally. And that she's spending way too much time with her ILs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your brother's wife is DH's twin sister? Huh? Or is this two SILs?

In any case, time to own who you are.

OP's DH's twin sister is married to a woman.

then who is the brother's sister?

OP is married to Larlo. He has a twin sister named Larla. Larla is a surgeon and a lesbian. She married a woman named Midge. Midge used to be a nanny, but is now an awesome stay at home mom. OP is jealous of Midge. OP and Midge share the same mother in law. MIL praises Midge for her awesome parenting while OP sulks in jealousy.

Thank you. The entire OP had me confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are spending both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my husbands family which means I get a solid month of me feeling inferior to my SIL. DH twin sister is a surgeon and married to what my family considers the “perfect Mom”. We both had our oldest within the same months, both boys now 3-years-old. I also have a 10 month old and she and my brothers sister have 18-month-old twins. We both stay at home. She loves it and flourishes, I struggle and miss work. She was a former nanny so it comes easier to her and her income wouldn’t be worth it for her to keep working. I was laid off before my oldest turned 1 and decided to stay home. I have a MBA and was making 6 figures, we totally had to change our lifestyle. My children act up, hers are always perfect. My MIL will be sure to comment on how I handle situations wrong. I am jealous, and do not look forward to being compared when I should be enjoying the holidays. I know most of the issues stem from my own issues, I’ll admkt it. It’s like we’ve done a 180. 5 years ago DH and I were doing great financially and traveling all over the world. We had a nice apartment and wonderful careers. DHs sister and my SIL were living in a tiny one bedroom barely squeaking by on a nanny salary while DHs sister finished her residency. Now she’s living she wanted, and I am trying to but just can’t make it look as well. Im pretty sure MIL favors their children as well. Which I find ironic considering she was upset they were even going to have children anyways.

You probably lost your job because you're illiterate and incapable of basic English. I'm sure she's better than you at that too.

What? I see a few errors that could easily be typos or autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

You made 6 figures and had to make lifestyle changes when you got laid off? Were you not saving anything especially all those years before your first kid was born? At least go for unemployment benefits while you get another job (I'd think with an MBA you'd be marketable, no?). Were you living beyond your means?

[Anonymous]

It sucks to be insecure and it's hard to feel like another part of the family is favored over you. Why do you go for both holidays instead of one? It might be time to change this.

You do need to work on your insecurity, because you've got a long road ahead if you dont. Let it go. They are not perfect. Find and play up your own strenghts. If you think they do something so well, either learn how to do it well, or own the fact that you dont, and do it proudly your own way.

Don't roll your eyes at their perfection, especially if it's petty like perfectly wrapped gifts. If they enjoy it and are good at it, that reflects on them, not you.

Every family has its drama or annoying people to be around. Have a drink and find someone you enjoy talking to. It's just a few days out of year.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to get to a therapist stat to deal with your life changes and how you feel about it. I think you need to feel better about yourself so that you can feel better about your life.

Then you should also consider parenting classes. They may help you adjust your style to the needs of your little ones. Parenting classes also can help you with the inconsistent parenting that is driving the "acting up". Parenting is both a science and an art. Parenting classes will help you with the "science" part of it.

[Anonymous]

OP give yourself some credit—you’ve had a lot of change and you are doing okay. Comparing yourself to SIL is not going to help and is not going to make you happy. You seem like you were okay when you were too dog, and now that you aren’t you are unhappy about it. That’s not a good thing. Would you be happier if SIL family had some grace misfortune that put you back on top? If the answer is yes it may be time for therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your brother's wife is DH's twin sister? Huh? Or is this two SILs?

In any case, time to own who you are.

OP's DH's twin sister is married to a woman.

then who is the brother's sister?

OP is married to Larlo. He has a twin sister named Larla. Larla is a surgeon and a lesbian. She married a woman named Midge. Midge used to be a nanny, but is now an awesome stay at home mom. OP is jealous of Midge. OP and Midge share the same mother in law. MIL praises Midge for her awesome parenting while OP sulks in jealousy.

Thank you. The entire OP had me confused.

Not sure why it is hard to understand that OP's husband has a sister who is married to a woman. Are same-sexy relationships really so foreign to you?

[Anonymous]

Sorry you're facing this. I also had siblings with much higher lifestyles and dreaded comparisons. It sounds like your SIL went through lean times so maybe talk with her about your feelings of self consciousness/inferiority. Have some "girl time: away from kids and talk about the challenges of parenting. I'm sure she has them, too.

[Anonymous]

You had your chance to feel superior, now she has hers. Life can be funny that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your brother's wife is DH's twin sister? Huh? Or is this two SILs?

In any case, time to own who you are.

OP's DH's twin sister is married to a woman.

then who is the brother's sister?

OP is married to Larlo. He has a twin sister named Larla. Larla is a surgeon and a lesbian. She married a woman named Midge. Midge used to be a nanny, but is now an awesome stay at home mom. OP is jealous of Midge. OP and Midge share the same mother in law. MIL praises Midge for her awesome parenting while OP sulks in jealousy.

Thank you. The entire OP had me confused.

Not sure why it is hard to understand that OP's husband has a sister who is married to a woman. Are same-sexy relationships really so foreign to you?

NP ... I was mostly following, but the mid-paragraph reference to "she and my brother's sister have 18mo twins" threw me off. Typo for "she and my DH's sister"? If so, that's kind of a disturbing thing to mix up! Or is DH's twin married to OP's brother's sister (and why would that not just be "my sister")?