Middle school dating- 14 year olds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started dating my now husband at 14 in 2003

That's nice, honey. Get back to us when you grow up.

Grow up? I graduated from college, have a career, and two amazing children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were none of you dating and having sex at that age? Most of the people I knew were.

Why s everyone sticking their heads in the sand about this?

I had a boyfriend at 14, but I was in tenth grade.

What I am wondering about is -- middle-school "dating" doesn't seem to consist of actually going anywhere or doing anything. So I'm not sure how a parent could stop it, if they wanted to. It goes on at school and on phones.

I was wondering about this too. My 14yo is a sophomore. I have a feeling his first date will be happening soon. He’s had girlfriends before, but I’m the sense of sitting together at lunch and texting some, not dating.

I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16. It was arbitrary and silly. I could’ve done anything I wanted with a couple of lies. I didn’t do anything terribly against the rules because I didn’t want to do them, not because my parents chose foolish standards to adhere to. All they did was teach me to lie better and cover my tracks, and they totally shut down the lines of communication. I prefer to wait until kids are mature enough to do activities rather than making them wait for random birthdays to do normal teenager activities.

[Anonymous]

How are you all "nipping dating in the bud." Curious how you stop it during school, and what consequences you use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you all "nipping dating in the bud." Curious how you stop it during school, and what consequences you use.

In middle school it's easy. You still have a lot of control.

In high school, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you all "nipping dating in the bud." Curious how you stop it during school, and what consequences you use.

In middle school it's easy. You still have a lot of control.

In high school, not so much.

Over the kids your kid hangs out with at school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you all "nipping dating in the bud." Curious how you stop it during school, and what consequences you use.

In middle school it's easy. You still have a lot of control.

In high school, not so much.

Over the kids your kid hangs out with at school?

They are not dating inside the school during class times. They may have lunch together or sit together, but that's not dating, it's hanging out in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you all "nipping dating in the bud." Curious how you stop it during school, and what consequences you use.

In middle school it's easy. You still have a lot of control.

In high school, not so much.

Over the kids your kid hangs out with at school?

They are not dating inside the school during class times. They may have lunch together or sit together, but that's not dating, it's hanging out in school.

My 6th grader (who thinks sex is SO GROSS, thank God) tells me she sees kids kissing in the halls all the time. You may think you have control, but really, you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you all "nipping dating in the bud." Curious how you stop it during school, and what consequences you use.

In middle school it's easy. You still have a lot of control.

In high school, not so much.

Over the kids your kid hangs out with at school?

They are not dating inside the school during class times. They may have lunch together or sit together, but that's not dating, it's hanging out in school.

In middle school, that's dating.

[Anonymous]

FYI on those "group dates", I had a friend in HS who was a preacher's kid. She was only allowed to spend time with her boyfriend when we were all out in groups. they did everything but get naked at every single gathering. It was gross

[Anonymous]

There's definitely a difference between a 14 year old in middle school and one in freshman/sophomore year of high school.

That being said, don't take it too seriously. It's mostly about sitting with each other at lunch, being "known" to be together within the school, texting, hang out with others at a group, etc. They like getting each other little gifts of candy or something silly like that. Don't let them hang out alone or anything, but don't make it a bigger deal than it actually is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It happens! My 13 yr old asked a girl out and they are planning a date.

And you allowed this?

Yes, Judgey McJudgerson, apparently she did. I thought that was obvious from her response.

Well she's as cluless as the two of you.

Only time will tell my friend. But you keep throwing those insults if that makes you feel better about yourself.

NP. My just turned 13 y/o DS went on a date. They met at a movie theater and walked to an icecream place after. We don't live too far away so DH picked up DS when he texted. We gave DS the money to pay for her but I forgot to ask if he did. Sometimes they eat lunch together at school. I don't think "dating" for middle schoolers is that intense, honestly. At least not for the kids I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It happens! My 13 yr old asked a girl out and they are planning a date.

And you allowed this?

Just because you don't allow it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. I "dated" in 8th grade and dated for real in 9th grade without my parent's knowing.

I just had to report 2 kids last month who were using the gazebo near my house to do more than just make out. Behind my house is a bike trail, but the trail dead ends at the woods there and there's a gazebo there. I guess it's meant for those who reach the end of the trail to have a place to relax before heading back out, but it's pretty much never used. Most know the trail ends there and tend to take a right before my house and continue on. I was on my deck getting ready to grill when I noticed two teens hanging out in there. No biggie. I went inside to grab the items to grill and when I came out, I only saw 1 head. Hmm, odd. Then I saw the boy's head loll back and I knew exactly what was going on. Nope, nope, nope. I didn't recognize him but I later saw the girl and recognized her as a kid from one street over with very strict parents (different culture, one very strict w/ females).

[Anonymous]

I would not allow my kids to date in jr. high/middle school. High school freshman? Maybe in groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not allow my kids to date in jr. high/middle school. High school freshman? Maybe in groups.

How would you stop it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not allow my kids to date in jr. high/middle school. High school freshman? Maybe in groups.

How would you stop it?

All girl's school. Done.