Middle school dating- 14 year olds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It happens! My 13 yr old asked a girl out and they are planning a date.

And you allowed this?

Yes, Judgey McJudgerson, apparently she did. I thought that was obvious from her response.

Well she's as cluless as the two of you.

[Anonymous]

Were none of you dating and having sex at that age? Most of the people I knew were.

Why s everyone sticking their heads in the sand about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were none of you dating and having sex at that age? Most of the people I knew were.

Why s everyone sticking their heads in the sand about this?

I've learned that most people on DCUM were major squares who never did anything in high school...so my guess is the answer is going to be no. But, yes, dating at 14 does not seem early to me at all based on my experience as a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were none of you dating and having sex at that age? Most of the people I knew were.

Why s everyone sticking their heads in the sand about this?

In 8th grade? No, I was not having sex. At 14 in 9th grade? No, I was not having sex. In 10th grade I was flirting with boys and then the summer between 10th and 11th grades, I had my first boyfriend. When I was in 9th grade a list went around of the half dozen or so girls who were alleged to be having sex. They were the dirtbags of the school.

My DD is 14 and there's no rush. As long as she dates before she graduates from high school so she gets some experience being in a relationship before she goes off to college where she doesn't have the backup of parents, I'll be satisfied.

[Anonymous]

From where I am sitting with high school kids.... virtually all of the kids who got involved in dating a lot in Middle School had some issues-- whether anxiety, depression, and most typically-- family drama and then the dating frequently added friend drama.

And while I was not aware of any of my kids' friends having sex in middle school-- the kids that "had to" always have a bf/gf (and sometimes back and forth between bf and gf) started having sex in early HS and the friend drama skyrocketed.

I didn't forbid my kids from dating in MS, I did not encourage it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were none of you dating and having sex at that age? Most of the people I knew were.

Why s everyone sticking their heads in the sand about this?

In 8th grade? No, I was not having sex. At 14 in 9th grade? No, I was not having sex. In 10th grade I was flirting with boys and then the summer between 10th and 11th grades, I had my first boyfriend. When I was in 9th grade a list went around of the half dozen or so girls who were alleged to be having sex. They were the dirtbags of the school.

My DD is 14 and there's no rush. As long as she dates before she graduates from high school so she gets some experience being in a relationship before she goes off to college where she doesn't have the backup of parents, I'll be satisfied.

+1
The posters saying it's "the norm" for 8th graders to be having sex are clearly trying to justify their own actions at that age. *None* of the 8th graders I know are anywhere near having sex - much less having a boy/girlfriend. Honestly, DCUM is like the twilight zone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her explore her sexuality.

At 14?

I remember my parents saying while kids are physically ready at that age, they are nowhere near emotionally ready for the fall out.

This is so true.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were none of you dating and having sex at that age? Most of the people I knew were.

Why s everyone sticking their heads in the sand about this?

No the majority of kids are not dating an having sex at 14 now or in the past. There is research on this.

There is also research that shows dating and sexual activity in the early teen years is not beneficial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were none of you dating and having sex at that age? Most of the people I knew were.

Why s everyone sticking their heads in the sand about this?

I had a boyfriend at 14, but I was in tenth grade.

What I am wondering about is -- middle-school "dating" doesn't seem to consist of actually going anywhere or doing anything. So I'm not sure how a parent could stop it, if they wanted to. It goes on at school and on phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It happens! My 13 yr old asked a girl out and they are planning a date.

And you allowed this?

Yes, Judgey McJudgerson, apparently she did. I thought that was obvious from her response.

Well she's as cluless as the two of you.

Only time will tell my friend. But you keep throwing those insults if that makes you feel better about yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were none of you dating and having sex at that age? Most of the people I knew were.

Why s everyone sticking their heads in the sand about this?

I had a boyfriend at 14, but I was in tenth grade.

What I am wondering about is -- middle-school "dating" doesn't seem to consist of actually going anywhere or doing anything. So I'm not sure how a parent could stop it, if they wanted to. It goes on at school and on phones.

When I was in middle school, if two kids were "dating" it meant that they sat together (with a ton of other friends) at lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were none of you dating and having sex at that age? Most of the people I knew were.

Why s everyone sticking their heads in the sand about this?

In 8th grade? No, I was not having sex. At 14 in 9th grade? No, I was not having sex. In 10th grade I was flirting with boys and then the summer between 10th and 11th grades, I had my first boyfriend. When I was in 9th grade a list went around of the half dozen or so girls who were alleged to be having sex. They were the dirtbags of the school.

My DD is 14 and there's no rush. As long as she dates before she graduates from high school so she gets some experience being in a relationship before she goes off to college where she doesn't have the backup of parents, I'll be satisfied.

+1
The posters saying it's "the norm" for 8th graders to be having sex are clearly trying to justify their own actions at that age. *None* of the 8th graders I know are anywhere near having sex - much less having a boy/girlfriend. Honestly, DCUM is like the twilight zone.

+1

And even if it were, it's not a parent's job to fit in.

[Anonymous]

8tb graders are definitely doing oral though for sure

Op, there’s a better than 50-50 chance she’s given a bj already

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started dating my now husband at 14 in 2003

That's nice, honey. Get back to us when you grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started dating my now husband at 14 in 2003

That's nice, honey. Get back to us when you grow up.

28-year-olds aren't grown-ups?