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Seeing more and more 14 year old's dating. DD is getting attracted a boy in her school and wants to date as well.
IMO, its too early. But really confused, please help dcum! |
| Sweetie, get off the internet and go do your homework. |
| It happens! My 13 yr old asked a girl out and they are planning a date. |
| My 13 yo has a boyfriend but they mostly see each other at school or text each other. |
| Buy her condoms and put her on BC now!!!!! |
| Let her explore her sexuality. |
At 14? I remember my parents saying while kids are physically ready at that age, they are nowhere near emotionally ready for the fall out. This is so true. |
| My DD is 14 in ninth grade. She is not interested in anyone yet, but if she were, I would only allow group dates in public places. |
And you allowed this? |
Yes, Judgey McJudgerson, apparently she did. I thought that was obvious from her response. |
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No.
Just say no. |
| I started dating my now husband at 14 in 2003 |
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Not in middle school. School has to be the priority. There are years and years and years ahead of them to date. They don't need the emotional turmoil that almost always comes with dating at that young an age.
Take this time now to explain how overwhelming and all-encompassing those first loves can feel. The importance of kindness, honesty, and reliability in a relationship. The fact that it may someday end, and that if it does, it will hurt. You need to talk about domestic violence, emotional and otherwise. Make sure they know what it is and can identify it if it happens. |
+1 Parent of a HS student here. Kids who were "dating" in MS tended to be involved in a LOT of distracting drama, from what I observed. I'm a coach as well as an adviser for a student group outside school and truly, kids who were really into dating etc. in MS seemed always to be having friend issues around boyfriend/girlfriend drama; were on phones constantly (even more than most kids, who are on phones plenty); and I heard from quite a few parents who said they wished they'd kept closer watch and nipped "dating" earlier because their kids' schoolwork was affected. Yeah, that's all anecdotal, but my perspective was that I never saw any good come out of MS so-called dating. They're not ever dating in the adult sense of going out with different people socially to learn what they like and value in a possible relationship; they tend instead to attach immediately to one all-consuming Boy/Girlfriend. Not healthy at that age. And for whoever will come on here to say, "I started dating my spouse in MS!" I can say: You didn't have social media to crank up your expectations, make you feel pressured to get serious fast so you could post about it, and give you constant access to both your boyfriend or girlfriend AND all the inexperienced but cocksure middle schoolers egging you on. |
+1 |