Substitute teacher at DD's MS asks "Why?" when she says she needs to go to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

At TC Williams HS in Alexandria, the kids are prohibited from using the bathrooms just before, during, and just after class-change times. So that isn't an option.

This is entirely illegal and I hope someone takes legal action against any teacher, personally, who prevents a student from going to the bathroom.

Trying to understand this--because it doesn't make sense to me. Do you mean they can only go during class? If they cannot use the bathroom during class change time, then they must have to go during class. Is this correct? Or am I misinterpreting what you wrote?

Correct. They go to class, wait ten mins, interrupt class to ask for a bathroom pass, go and come back during class. They interrupt class and miss class time. Thank you Alexandria school board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

At TC Williams HS in Alexandria, the kids are prohibited from using the bathrooms just before, during, and just after class-change times. So that isn't an option.

This is entirely illegal and I hope someone takes legal action against any teacher, personally, who prevents a student from going to the bathroom.

Trying to understand this--because it doesn't make sense to me. Do you mean they can only go during class? If they cannot use the bathroom during class change time, then they must have to go during class. Is this correct? Or am I misinterpreting what you wrote?

Correct. They go to class, wait ten mins, interrupt class to ask for a bathroom pass, go and come back during class. They interrupt class and miss class time. Thank you Alexandria school board.

Have they ever said why? I'm trying to brainstorm a reason--the only thing I can come up with is that they don't want kids getting together during break. But, that's a stretch of a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

At TC Williams HS in Alexandria, the kids are prohibited from using the bathrooms just before, during, and just after class-change times. So that isn't an option.

This is entirely illegal and I hope someone takes legal action against any teacher, personally, who prevents a student from going to the bathroom.

Trying to understand this--because it doesn't make sense to me. Do you mean they can only go during class? If they cannot use the bathroom during class change time, then they must have to go during class. Is this correct? Or am I misinterpreting what you wrote?

Correct. They go to class, wait ten mins, interrupt class to ask for a bathroom pass, go and come back during class. They interrupt class and miss class time. Thank you Alexandria school board.

Have they ever said why? I'm trying to brainstorm a reason--the only thing I can come up with is that they don't want kids getting together during break. But, that's a stretch of a reason.

NP: Guessing that's exactly it. The majority of drug deals at the school where I teach happen in the bathrooms. By limiting kids from congregating in an adult free zone, you can limit opportunities.

Although in reality it's stupid because the kids just coordinate. "Meet me at 1:27 in the upstaiRd bathroom"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By MS kids can hold it. Your DD probabaly asks each day. It is what a 40 minute class?

I'm wondering how you would react if someone asked you WHY you had to go to the bathroom. In front of all your colleagues. Idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This again???

Most teachers (subs or not) do not ask a child "why" s/he needs to go to the bathroom. Frankly, it is TMI and we don't to know since some of our students will tell us loudly. Yuck. And, in fact, most of us are in signaling classrooms these days anyway so the opportunity doesn't even arise.

If your child is being asked "why" then I would take it as an indicator that she is or has been off task in class and now is looking for continued attention in new directions. It also is extremely probable that the teacher recognizes that she is or has used the bathroom visit as an opportunity to stay off task.

You should inquire further with your child, OP, before taking this on because I suspect that the problem is either your perception or your child's behavior. But if you feel that you MUST make this your issue and that your child MUST regularly (not once a month) take frequent bathroom breaks during the day, then send your child's Team Lead teacher an email. Tell the lead how you want your child's requests treated in the future. We will inform our team and, yes, congratulations, you will be THAT parent.

So, let me see if I'm understanding you. If a child - who is otherwise on task and who has left his/her phone in the phone basket on the teacher's desk - asks politely if s/he can go to the bathroom, you're going to be skeptical that s/he actually needs to go, and you're going to embarrass him or her in front of the entire class by asking what the purpose of her bathroom visit is? Unbelievable. You shouldn't be teaching kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a teacher who wouldn't allow bathroom breaks in HS. I've always needed to pee frequently. It was torture. If DD was treated the same way I would speak up. Teaching is hard but that doesn't mean you get to treat kids like the aren't human. I ended up leaving HS senior year and doing dual enrollment at community college instead to get away from shit like this.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Out teachers are very stressed. They have too many students. They have too many requirements foisted upon them by you parents via the district and the state legislature. Teachers have to take time off to do all this PD. They also take time off because they get sick too often (you know, parents ignoring advice and sending sick kids to school, treating the place like their personal daycare center?)

If you don't want inexperienced subs teaching your kids, then I suggest that you stop rolling out the welcome mat in Northern Virginia and/or you prepare to pay a lot more in taxes because teachers are severely understaffed.

- signed, public school teacher in a Northern Virginia school

And your personal resentment means that the members of your union should refuse to permit kids to pee.

You should be sued under the ADA and EAA.

THIS. What a tool the PP is.

[Anonymous]

OP. Thanks for all the replies, though quite frankly, I was appalled by some of them. To answer some of your questions:
No, my daughter doesn't frequently ask to use the bathroom in this particular class. The two times she's needed to have been a week apart and he happened to be there both of those days.

She is a good student and doesn't slack off or talk during class. There's no reason a teacher shouldn't let her go to the bathroom.

She, along with the other students, puts her phone in the "phone box" on the teacher's desk at the start of class so she's obviously not trying to get out of class to use it.

She, like many middle school aged girls, has her period and is trying to manage it while at school. She should be allowed to use the restroom whenever she needs to.

Even if she isn't having her period, sometimes you just gotta go! I think we all know about that. The kids only have *four* minutes in between classes to go to their lockers, hopefully use the bathroom, and make it to their next class on time. Often, using the bathroom has to fall by the wayside if they don't want to be tardy and get in trouble.

And finally, the point I was trying to make was that no teacher (or substitute) should EVER ask a student WHY they need to go to the bathroom. What a stupid, moronic, unnecessary, and unacceptable thing to ask. I would love to have some of you adults put on the spot like that in your next board meeting - that is, those of you insisting the problem had to be with my daughter and not this creep of a teacher. Let's hear you explain to your coworkers exactly why *YOU* need to go.

Thank you to the PPs who suggested she describe to him, in specific detail, exactly why she had to go. That's exactly what I told her she should do, but obviously a 13 yr. old isn't going to say that to a teacher, much less a male teacher. I would applaud her if she did, though.

I'm going to just let it go - for now. But if it happens one more time, with this guy or any other teacher, I'll be contacting the principal. And to the PP who said I'd be "THAT parent" - so be it. Sounds like you're "THAT teacher."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a shame she's in middle school, because she should look him in the eye and say "because I'm bleeding profusely from my vagina and am about to soil the desk chair" . I realize at that age they would all rather die than admit they have periods, but I'm all about turning the embarrassment back around.

Other than that, I'd reach out to the principal or other administrator. Subs are not vetted as well as you might think.

Thank you, PP! Great advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks for all the replies, though quite frankly, I was appalled by some of them. To answer some of your questions:
No, my daughter doesn't frequently ask to use the bathroom in this particular class. The two times she's needed to have been a week apart and he happened to be there both of those days.

She is a good student and doesn't slack off or talk during class. There's no reason a teacher shouldn't let her go to the bathroom.

She, along with the other students, puts her phone in the "phone box" on the teacher's desk at the start of class so she's obviously not trying to get out of class to use it.

She, like many middle school aged girls, has her period and is trying to manage it while at school. She should be allowed to use the restroom whenever she needs to.

Even if she isn't having her period, sometimes you just gotta go! I think we all know about that. The kids only have *four* minutes in between classes to go to their lockers, hopefully use the bathroom, and make it to their next class on time. Often, using the bathroom has to fall by the wayside if they don't want to be tardy and get in trouble.

And finally, the point I was trying to make was that no teacher (or substitute) should EVER ask a student WHY they need to go to the bathroom. What a stupid, moronic, unnecessary, and unacceptable thing to ask. I would love to have some of you adults put on the spot like that in your next board meeting - that is, those of you insisting the problem had to be with my daughter and not this creep of a teacher. Let's hear you explain to your coworkers exactly why *YOU* need to go.

Thank you to the PPs who suggested she describe to him, in specific detail, exactly why she had to go. That's exactly what I told her she should do, but obviously a 13 yr. old isn't going to say that to a teacher, much less a male teacher. I would applaud her if she did, though.

I'm going to just let it go - for now. But if it happens one more time, with this guy or any other teacher, I'll be contacting the principal. And to the PP who said I'd be "THAT parent" - so be it. Sounds like you're "THAT teacher."

New to this thread.

Your child is in middle school, a time to start self-advocacy.

Your child should talk to the principal or her counselor who can then follow up with the substitute without giving any names.

Is she the ONLY student he does that to or does he ask everyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks for all the replies, though quite frankly, I was appalled by some of them. To answer some of your questions:
No, my daughter doesn't frequently ask to use the bathroom in this particular class. The two times she's needed to have been a week apart and he happened to be there both of those days.

She is a good student and doesn't slack off or talk during class. There's no reason a teacher shouldn't let her go to the bathroom.

She, along with the other students, puts her phone in the "phone box" on the teacher's desk at the start of class so she's obviously not trying to get out of class to use it.

She, like many middle school aged girls, has her period and is trying to manage it while at school. She should be allowed to use the restroom whenever she needs to.

Even if she isn't having her period, sometimes you just gotta go! I think we all know about that. The kids only have *four* minutes in between classes to go to their lockers, hopefully use the bathroom, and make it to their next class on time. Often, using the bathroom has to fall by the wayside if they don't want to be tardy and get in trouble.

And finally, the point I was trying to make was that no teacher (or substitute) should EVER ask a student WHY they need to go to the bathroom. What a stupid, moronic, unnecessary, and unacceptable thing to ask. I would love to have some of you adults put on the spot like that in your next board meeting - that is, those of you insisting the problem had to be with my daughter and not this creep of a teacher. Let's hear you explain to your coworkers exactly why *YOU* need to go.

Thank you to the PPs who suggested she describe to him, in specific detail, exactly why she had to go. That's exactly what I told her she should do, but obviously a 13 yr. old isn't going to say that to a teacher, much less a male teacher. I would applaud her if she did, though.

I'm going to just let it go - for now. But if it happens one more time, with this guy or any other teacher, I'll be contacting the principal. And to the PP who said I'd be "THAT parent" - so be it. Sounds like you're "THAT teacher."

New to this thread.

Your child is in middle school, a time to start self-advocacy.

Your child should talk to the principal or her counselor who can then follow up with the substitute without giving any names.

Is she the ONLY student he does that to or does he ask everyone?

Somehow, I doubt this is the worst thing the sub does. I understand that the subs are getting worse. This is pretty bad, though.

[Anonymous]

I would send an email to the assistant principal and have your DD complain to the counselor. This person is just a sub--complaints may mean he's not asked to sub anymore, which would be a good thing. It's an immature, unnecessary question.

I also would direct my kid to just get up and go if it's an absolute emergency, no matter what the sub says. You can follow up/deal with consequences later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks for all the replies, though quite frankly, I was appalled by some of them. To answer some of your questions:
No, my daughter doesn't frequently ask to use the bathroom in this particular class. The two times she's needed to have been a week apart and he happened to be there both of those days.

She is a good student and doesn't slack off or talk during class. There's no reason a teacher shouldn't let her go to the bathroom.

She, along with the other students, puts her phone in the "phone box" on the teacher's desk at the start of class so she's obviously not trying to get out of class to use it.

She, like many middle school aged girls, has her period and is trying to manage it while at school. She should be allowed to use the restroom whenever she needs to.

Even if she isn't having her period, sometimes you just gotta go! I think we all know about that. The kids only have *four* minutes in between classes to go to their lockers, hopefully use the bathroom, and make it to their next class on time. Often, using the bathroom has to fall by the wayside if they don't want to be tardy and get in trouble.

And finally, the point I was trying to make was that no teacher (or substitute) should EVER ask a student WHY they need to go to the bathroom. What a stupid, moronic, unnecessary, and unacceptable thing to ask. I would love to have some of you adults put on the spot like that in your next board meeting - that is, those of you insisting the problem had to be with my daughter and not this creep of a teacher. Let's hear you explain to your coworkers exactly why *YOU* need to go.

Thank you to the PPs who suggested she describe to him, in specific detail, exactly why she had to go. That's exactly what I told her she should do, but obviously a 13 yr. old isn't going to say that to a teacher, much less a male teacher. I would applaud her if she did, though.

I'm going to just let it go - for now. But if it happens one more time, with this guy or any other teacher, I'll be contacting the principal. And to the PP who said I'd be "THAT parent" - so be it. Sounds like you're "THAT teacher."

Actually, we are THAT team! I think it is odd that her period has lasted over 7 days, though. That might be worthy of a doctor's appointment to get checked out. But, of course, it isn't your daughter with the problem...it is the sub so maybe you should confer with him about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

At TC Williams HS in Alexandria, the kids are prohibited from using the bathrooms just before, during, and just after class-change times. So that isn't an option.

This is entirely illegal and I hope someone takes legal action against any teacher, personally, who prevents a student from going to the bathroom.

Trying to understand this--because it doesn't make sense to me. Do you mean they can only go during class? If they cannot use the bathroom during class change time, then they must have to go during class. Is this correct? Or am I misinterpreting what you wrote?

Correct. They go to class, wait ten mins, interrupt class to ask for a bathroom pass, go and come back during class. They interrupt class and miss class time. Thank you Alexandria school board.

Have they ever said why? I'm trying to brainstorm a reason--the only thing I can come up with is that they don't want kids getting together during break. But, that's a stretch of a reason.

NP: Guessing that's exactly it. The majority of drug deals at the school where I teach happen in the bathrooms. By limiting kids from congregating in an adult free zone, you can limit opportunities.

Although in reality it's stupid because the kids just coordinate. "Meet me at 1:27 in the upstaiRd bathroom"

And other issues like meet-ups for sex or gang activities. It is much easier to maintain the personal safety of all students if a large group of students are not congregating in one small area at the same time. If entrance into bathrooms can be observed then the safety of individuals can be enhanced. A pre-arranged meet-up likely won't be successful because a security officer will see 2 or 3 individuals entering the same restroom at approximately the same time and then will move to that area to monitor student behavior. The same with a meet-up for sex since the security officer would notice. It does go to show that it behooves us all to ask questions before immediately jumping to conclusions. My understanding that this is a school and/or school system decision made in collaboration with law enforcement and other safety experts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks for all the replies, though quite frankly, I was appalled by some of them. To answer some of your questions:
No, my daughter doesn't frequently ask to use the bathroom in this particular class. The two times she's needed to have been a week apart and he happened to be there both of those days.

She is a good student and doesn't slack off or talk during class. There's no reason a teacher shouldn't let her go to the bathroom.

She, along with the other students, puts her phone in the "phone box" on the teacher's desk at the start of class so she's obviously not trying to get out of class to use it.

She, like many middle school aged girls, has her period and is trying to manage it while at school. She should be allowed to use the restroom whenever she needs to.

Even if she isn't having her period, sometimes you just gotta go! I think we all know about that. The kids only have *four* minutes in between classes to go to their lockers, hopefully use the bathroom, and make it to their next class on time. Often, using the bathroom has to fall by the wayside if they don't want to be tardy and get in trouble.

And finally, the point I was trying to make was that no teacher (or substitute) should EVER ask a student WHY they need to go to the bathroom. What a stupid, moronic, unnecessary, and unacceptable thing to ask. I would love to have some of you adults put on the spot like that in your next board meeting - that is, those of you insisting the problem had to be with my daughter and not this creep of a teacher. Let's hear you explain to your coworkers exactly why *YOU* need to go.

Thank you to the PPs who suggested she describe to him, in specific detail, exactly why she had to go. That's exactly what I told her she should do, but obviously a 13 yr. old isn't going to say that to a teacher, much less a male teacher. I would applaud her if she did, though.

I'm going to just let it go - for now. But if it happens one more time, with this guy or any other teacher, I'll be contacting the principal. And to the PP who said I'd be "THAT parent" - so be it. Sounds like you're "THAT teacher."

Actually, we are THAT team! I think it is odd that her period has lasted over 7 days, though. That might be worthy of a doctor's appointment to get checked out. But, of course, it isn't your daughter with the problem...it is the sub so maybe you should confer with him about it.

Np. Maybe one time was because of her period and one time was to pee. Or one time was to pee and one time was to poo. The point is, the sub should not be asking. By the way, most of my life until, I reached my 40s, my period lasted for about 8 days, some days extremely heavy. Are you suggesting that during my period if I had to go to the bathroom to take care of person hygiene issues, then for the next week or more I should not be allowed to go to the bathroom to pee. Be annoyed about frequent bathroom breaks if you want, but to suggest that asking why is ok is beyond ridiculous. Why would you defend something that is clearly not ok?