Meeting DH's friend for a coffee

[Anonymous]

If he made a move, would you be receptive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he's told your husband his story a hundred times, can't your husband just fill you in, now that the friend wants you to know? This friend sounds exhausting and tedious and attention-whorish.

BTW, overweight people are not immune to sexual activity and affairs.

What a lot of manufactured drama over nothing.

As blunt as this post is, I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - so all the people acting like this is a normal, random thing, I would like to hear how many of you have been invited by your SO's friends to go out alone for meals, drinks, coffees, etc.? I might be old-fashioned but I just think there is something a tad off in that. However, I always give people benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, I find it funny how today's society normalizes some things that would have been unthinkable 100 years ago.

If you were doing this a few times a week with the same friend it might be odd. But one coffee? Not odd. I've been married for 25+ years so I know my DHs friends pretty well now.

[Anonymous]

Show some cleavage and see if it draws his attention.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why he would want to talk to you. You can't even make a decision for yourself without asking random internet folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he made a move, would you be receptive?

No, I would not. I don't think he will. I think it will literally be me listening for at least half an hour. Then I will have to offer solutions. I think I might suggest to him to find a wife. i think it would make him happy, not necessarily solve his problems but at least give him na opportunity for a fulfilling life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - so all the people acting like this is a normal, random thing, I would like to hear how many of you have been invited by your SO's friends to go out alone for meals, drinks, coffees, etc.? I might be old-fashioned but I just think there is something a tad off in that. However, I always give people benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, I find it funny how today's society normalizes some things that would have been unthinkable 100 years ago.

I wouldn't do it but it's less of an opposite sex thing than compartmentalizing our friends. Obviously my friends know my spouse and I've hung out with them and their spouses but I primarily hang out with my friends without my spouse around. Again, it's not a cheating issue it's really just my spouse and I giving each other space to have our own friends.

Anyways, I don't think it's wrong to meet up with the friend or anything I just have a different approach with friends. So, in your specific situation I might maybe have DH join us for coffee at the beginning and then maybe go for a walk or something and then rejoin us after the story was over.

[Anonymous]

If this is making you uncomfortable, why on earth are you going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he made a move, would you be receptive?

No, I would not. I don't think he will. I think it will literally be me listening for at least half an hour. Then I will have to offer solutions. I think I might suggest to him to find a wife. i think it would make him happy, not necessarily solve his problems but at least give him na opportunity for a fulfilling life.

You're trolling so hard.
- OK for men/women to spend time together one on one?
- Weight/attraction comments
- Picking a nearly-normal BMI to prove you're overweight
- Pointing a troubled person to marriage as an "opportunity for" fullfillment

What a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - so all the people acting like this is a normal, random thing, I would like to hear how many of you have been invited by your SO's friends to go out alone for meals, drinks, coffees, etc.? I might be old-fashioned but I just think there is something a tad off in that. However, I always give people benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, I find it funny how today's society normalizes some things that would have been unthinkable 100 years ago.

I have gone out with spouses and boyfriends of my female friends. Usually it's because the woman is out of town, or he and I share a hobby that she doesn't do, like golf. One comes over to see the dog every once in a while.

Also, just because you're overweight doesn't mean no one will hit on you. What a weird thing to say! Haven't you ever noticed how many obese married people there are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he made a move, would you be receptive?

No, I would not. I don't think he will. I think it will literally be me listening for at least half an hour. Then I will have to offer solutions. I think I might suggest to him to find a wife. i think it would make him happy, not necessarily solve his problems but at least give him na opportunity for a fulfilling life.

That is a terrible idea. Marriage doesn't make unhappy people happy, it usually makes them more unhappy when their partner doesn't magically solve all their problems. And people generally don't like being used as an attempt to fix problems. This is like suggesting someone get a dog when you know they won't be a good pet owner. He needs to fix his own problems before he even considers making someone legally and emotionally bound to him.

[Anonymous]

Friends? Not sure I even know who he counts as friends, and honestly, the overlap between his friends and mine is shallow. I wouldn't actually want to go out with one of my husband's friends to spend time with them. A few yes, but most are HIS friends. And my friends are MY friends. I get along with his friends (and vice versa) and like them (and vice versa) but I'd rather not spend one on one time with them.

[Anonymous]

I'd hit it (and so would he)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's told your husband his story a hundred times, can't your husband just fill you in, now that the friend wants you to know? This friend sounds exhausting and tedious and attention-whorish.

BTW, overweight people are not immune to sexual activity and affairs.

What a lot of manufactured drama over nothing.

As blunt as this post is, I agree.

I agree.
I think if you go it will not end with him telling you once. Are you prepared to hear it 100 times?
As for the question itself I understand it. I'm youngish at 40 but it would raise flags as to propriety if one of DH's friends asked just me out for coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mother?

Best. Post. Ever!!!!!!