Can married men have single female friends

[Anonymous]

IME, it is fine. DH has several female friends. Never been a problem.

[Anonymous]

they like each other but wanted different things out of a relationship. you can give him kids and she can't and doesn't want to. she's older and hot. thats why he talks to her so much. but he knows that there's no future.

[Anonymous]

Question for OP.
Are you willing to give up all your male friends that your DH might question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he feel insecure or somehow inferior to you? He may be trying to hedge against the day you leave him, you, so beautiful, so much more accomplished (you pay the bills), and such?

Either that, or he's an idiot, or they are truly just friends and it's habit. In any case, you should be able to talk about it.

The DH hasn't changed his behavior. As soon as hey got married, op expected him to drop his friend, possibly his best friend if they're that close. If anyone is insecure, it's OP. I seriously doubt the DH befriended and maintained a relationship this involved with a random woman just so he could manipulate his future spouse someday.

[Anonymous]

No. You're not following anyone but yourself. And certainly not her.

[Anonymous]

He's addicted to her and she has not discouraged it. She probably gets an ego boost from it.

[Anonymous]

I think its odd. One of my husband's good friends is a woman (in fact a woman that he formerly dated). But they hang out maybe once a month, and don't talk every day. Also, we've gone out to dinner or a movie with her together every now and then.

[Anonymous]

My DH has a couple of single female friends through business but over time I've gotten to know them. I'm not close with them but I stay close enough! They are quite a bit younger and very attractive but I have no worries. We have a wonderful relationship that neither of us wants to blow! Heck, I have single guy friends!

[Anonymous]

It was wrong of you to assume that your husband's friendship w/this woman would change after he married you.

If this was such a concern, I would have discussed this w/him prior to settling down.

It would be unfair of you to expect him to minimize their contact now.

I would just have to trust my husband that this is purely platonic in nature & that if he really wanted her, he never would have married me.

Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was wrong of you to assume that your husband's friendship w/this woman would change after he married you.

If this was such a concern, I would have discussed this w/him prior to settling down.

It would be unfair of you to expect him to minimize their contact now.

I would just have to trust my husband that this is purely platonic in nature & that if he really wanted her, he never would have married me.

Hope this helps.

I'm not a regular wife. I'm a cool wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just recently got married, <30 days. My husband had/has a single female friend that he is in a fair amount of contact with prior to our marriage. I mean like daily, talks on phone on way to work(long commute), texting in evening and occasional email. Nothing going on just talking about weather, work things, work gossip, tv shows. She is very accomplished and he ask her questions concerning a lot of different things, medical, finances recommendation on things to buy or not buy. I am paying bills now and I see that most of contact is initiated by him. Am I wrong to think that this would have slowed down a bit once we were married? I was never concerned about her before we married, I am just wondering why the level of contact hasn't changed at all. For others who might ask, yes she is attractive and has a relationship with a man that has been going on for sometime but probably won't turn into marriage cause she doesn't want to marry. Am I just being paranoid? Should I think of her as the big sister he never had?

Has she ever said or done anything that you think is inappropriate? Do you have any indications that their relationship is more than they say? How does she act towards you? Seems to me that if there was anything romantic between them, you probably would not even be in the picture.

People here will tell you otherwise, but I have always found it a benefit that DH has a close female friend. Their mothers are best friends from childhood DH and our friend were pretty much like brother and sister. She treats me like she treats him and has worked hard to create a relationship with me. I am never excluded from their discussions and she often texts me independently. She also had given him advice from a female perspective that probably nipped some of our marriage issues in the bud.

I may be an odd duck but I am not a big fan of regulating your SO's long term platonic friendships. They have been friends for years (long before you came along it seems) and if you object, he is just going to take the friendship underground. Try to be a part of it. Then you will know for sure firsthand what it is all about.

I have only met her once and she was really great to me. She wasn't able to make the wedding due to a vacation booked way in advance. I haven't really seen them interact to say how she behaves around him but the one time there didn't seem to be anything to question. She lives kinda far from where we live so getting to know her more would be difficult and we have so little in common. I do agree that if I try to question this or shut it down that won't stop it and will take it underground.

Wait. They speak multiple times daily (phone, text and email) yet when ya'll set the date for the wedding she had a long-scheduled vacation already on the books? Sounds odd to me

[Anonymous]

Sounds like Pincess Diana, Charles and Camilla..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think preexisting friendships should be allowed to continue, but the level of contact and intensity you describe it too much.


I wasn't aware people generally were in the business of regulating their partners' interpersonal relationships. That's just weird and creepy.

I don't know what you mean by regulation. If DH and I have outside relationships (family or friendships) that concern or disturb the other person, we would raise it with one another, respect one another's feelings, and modify behavior accordingly. If you find that "creepy," hey, you have a right to your views. You manage your relationships the way you think best, and we'll do ours the way we think best.

I guess I'm just not as insecure as you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just recently got married, <30 days. My husband had/has a single female friend that he is in a fair amount of contact with prior to our marriage. I mean like daily, talks on phone on way to work(long commute), texting in evening and occasional email. Nothing going on just talking about weather, work things, work gossip, tv shows. She is very accomplished and he ask her questions concerning a lot of different things, medical, finances recommendation on things to buy or not buy. I am paying bills now and I see that most of contact is initiated by him. Am I wrong to think that this would have slowed down a bit once we were married? I was never concerned about her before we married, I am just wondering why the level of contact hasn't changed at all. For others who might ask, yes she is attractive and has a relationship with a man that has been going on for sometime but probably won't turn into marriage cause she doesn't want to marry. Am I just being paranoid? Should I think of her as the big sister he never had?

Has she ever said or done anything that you think is inappropriate? Do you have any indications that their relationship is more than they say? How does she act towards you? Seems to me that if there was anything romantic between them, you probably would not even be in the picture.

People here will tell you otherwise, but I have always found it a benefit that DH has a close female friend. Their mothers are best friends from childhood DH and our friend were pretty much like brother and sister. She treats me like she treats him and has worked hard to create a relationship with me. I am never excluded from their discussions and she often texts me independently. She also had given him advice from a female perspective that probably nipped some of our marriage issues in the bud.

I may be an odd duck but I am not a big fan of regulating your SO's long term platonic friendships. They have been friends for years (long before you came along it seems) and if you object, he is just going to take the friendship underground. Try to be a part of it. Then you will know for sure firsthand what it is all about.

I have only met her once and she was really great to me. She wasn't able to make the wedding due to a vacation booked way in advance. I haven't really seen them interact to say how she behaves around him but the one time there didn't seem to be anything to question. She lives kinda far from where we live so getting to know her more would be difficult and we have so little in common. I do agree that if I try to question this or shut it down that won't stop it and will take it underground.

Wait. They speak multiple times daily (phone, text and email) yet when ya'll set the date for the wedding she had a long-scheduled vacation already on the books? Sounds odd to me

+1. It's weird in itself that he speaks multiple times a day with her but doesn't hang out in person. He needs to make some real life friends.

[Anonymous]

I'd be upset and here's why. We are all so busy and there are so few hours of the day. If he's talking to her multiple times a day then he's presumably using time he could be using to talk to you, pay bills, focus on work etc.

If I were you I'd ask him if you're allowed to have a male friend like this. Knowing most men, I would be willing to bet the answer is no.

Does this mean he's cheating? Not necessarily. However my husband did have a woman he spoke with frequently and swore they were just friends. Of course later I found out they were having sex.