Resign Now or Later?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard enough to return from maternity leave in the best of circumstances. These are more like the worst of circumstances! Preserve your sanity, and resign now.

OP here - this is what my instincts are telling me to do. As a classic overachiever turned big law punching bag, however, I have a hard time saving myself. I am also afraid quitting will make finding the next job incredibly hard. What do you think about that? I know they assigned me to this guy for abuse as a way of punishing my maternity leave.

That makes you sound a little crazy when you say the firm is punishing you. It makes way more sense that the asshole partner has burned his way through his last associate and needs someone else for the admittedly large amount of work he generates and you, just coming back from maternity leave and with no pending matters, are the most logical choice.

My advice to is to stick it out because you're either (i) in an in-demand practice area and will get another job shortly in which case no big deal to put up with asshole for a few weeks or (ii) in a less in-demand practice area and it will take you longer to find a new job and you don't want to have a long period of unemployment on your resume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say you're working for a terrible firm with a horrible reputation. Is this reputation is well known in your industry? If that is the case, I think a prior poster a suggestion about post-maternity leave transition is a good one. If people know the partner you're working for is a jerk, they will read between the lines. Don't tell the story for them, let them figure it out.

OP here, I don't think my firm is prominent enough or this partner famous enough for me to be able to say he's known industry-wide. Those familiar with the firm definitely know it is a particularly awful place, but it's not a firm like Cravath or Paul Weiss, for instance, that has major name recognition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard enough to return from maternity leave in the best of circumstances. These are more like the worst of circumstances! Preserve your sanity, and resign now.

OP here - this is what my instincts are telling me to do. As a classic overachiever turned big law punching bag, however, I have a hard time saving myself. I am also afraid quitting will make finding the next job incredibly hard. What do you think about that? I know they assigned me to this guy for abuse as a way of punishing my maternity leave.

What makes you think this? Anything happen to you before your leave that stands out?

I ask for a couple of reasons, including that one option may be to tell the firm you think this and explain why. It will (or should) trigger an investigation into your allegations which will at least buy you time to look for a job (and maybe a nice package to walk away). If you just walk away, they will always be able to tell the story they want (you can't cut it, etc).

THat said, it would have been better for you to do this when he first reached out.

DO you have anyone there you trust? A mentor or anything?

OP here, it happened to another associate while I was here. There is almost no other explanation for the way she was treated before and after. Plus, when I announced my pregnancy, I was "jokingly" warned by a partner in another group that my group would make me "work off" my maternity leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard enough to return from maternity leave in the best of circumstances. These are more like the worst of circumstances! Preserve your sanity, and resign now.

OP here - this is what my instincts are telling me to do. As a classic overachiever turned big law punching bag, however, I have a hard time saving myself. I am also afraid quitting will make finding the next job incredibly hard. What do you think about that? I know they assigned me to this guy for abuse as a way of punishing my maternity leave.

That makes you sound a little crazy when you say the firm is punishing you. It makes way more sense that the asshole partner has burned his way through his last associate and needs someone else for the admittedly large amount of work he generates and you, just coming back from maternity leave and with no pending matters, are the most logical choice.

My advice to is to stick it out because you're either (i) in an in-demand practice area and will get another job shortly in which case no big deal to put up with asshole for a few weeks or (ii) in a less in-demand practice area and it will take you longer to find a new job and you don't want to have a long period of unemployment on your resume.

OP here, don't be so quick to resort to name calling when you don't know the facts that led me to my conclusion. It should be obvious that telling every single detail here is basically signing my name to the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard enough to return from maternity leave in the best of circumstances. These are more like the worst of circumstances! Preserve your sanity, and resign now.

OP here - this is what my instincts are telling me to do. As a classic overachiever turned big law punching bag, however, I have a hard time saving myself. I am also afraid quitting will make finding the next job incredibly hard. What do you think about that? I know they assigned me to this guy for abuse as a way of punishing my maternity leave.

That makes you sound a little crazy when you say the firm is punishing you. It makes way more sense that the asshole partner has burned his way through his last associate and needs someone else for the admittedly large amount of work he generates and you, just coming back from maternity leave and with no pending matters, are the most logical choice.

My advice to is to stick it out because you're either (i) in an in-demand practice area and will get another job shortly in which case no big deal to put up with asshole for a few weeks or (ii) in a less in-demand practice area and it will take you longer to find a new job and you don't want to have a long period of unemployment on your resume.

OP here, don't be so quick to resort to name calling when you don't know the facts that led me to my conclusion. It should be obvious that telling every single detail here is basically signing my name to the thread.

I am not PP and I won't defend him/her calling you crazy. But what about the substantive point raised that you should stay because either your field is in demand so you can find something quickly if you don't have to explain a departure or you run a real risk of not finding anything if you just leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard enough to return from maternity leave in the best of circumstances. These are more like the worst of circumstances! Preserve your sanity, and resign now.

OP here - this is what my instincts are telling me to do. As a classic overachiever turned big law punching bag, however, I have a hard time saving myself. I am also afraid quitting will make finding the next job incredibly hard. What do you think about that? I know they assigned me to this guy for abuse as a way of punishing my maternity leave.

That makes you sound a little crazy when you say the firm is punishing you. It makes way more sense that the asshole partner has burned his way through his last associate and needs someone else for the admittedly large amount of work he generates and you, just coming back from maternity leave and with no pending matters, are the most logical choice.

My advice to is to stick it out because you're either (i) in an in-demand practice area and will get another job shortly in which case no big deal to put up with asshole for a few weeks or (ii) in a less in-demand practice area and it will take you longer to find a new job and you don't want to have a long period of unemployment on your resume.

OP here, don't be so quick to resort to name calling when you don't know the facts that led me to my conclusion. It should be obvious that telling every single detail here is basically signing my name to the thread.

So you think that everyone except for you should have to work for Mr. Asshole? Someone has to do this man's work and if you're an associate that's what you're there for. If you're just coming back from maternity leave you probably have the most capacity to take on extra work and you're probably the easiest one to integrate into the workflow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard enough to return from maternity leave in the best of circumstances. These are more like the worst of circumstances! Preserve your sanity, and resign now.

OP here - this is what my instincts are telling me to do. As a classic overachiever turned big law punching bag, however, I have a hard time saving myself. I am also afraid quitting will make finding the next job incredibly hard. What do you think about that? I know they assigned me to this guy for abuse as a way of punishing my maternity leave.

That makes you sound a little crazy when you say the firm is punishing you. It makes way more sense that the asshole partner has burned his way through his last associate and needs someone else for the admittedly large amount of work he generates and you, just coming back from maternity leave and with no pending matters, are the most logical choice.

My advice to is to stick it out because you're either (i) in an in-demand practice area and will get another job shortly in which case no big deal to put up with asshole for a few weeks or (ii) in a less in-demand practice area and it will take you longer to find a new job and you don't want to have a long period of unemployment on your resume.

OP here, don't be so quick to resort to name calling when you don't know the facts that led me to my conclusion. It should be obvious that telling every single detail here is basically signing my name to the thread.

So you think that everyone except for you should have to work for Mr. Asshole? Someone has to do this man's work and if you're an associate that's what you're there for. If you're just coming back from maternity leave you probably have the most capacity to take on extra work and you're probably the easiest one to integrate into the workflow.

You sound like a real asshole yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard enough to return from maternity leave in the best of circumstances. These are more like the worst of circumstances! Preserve your sanity, and resign now.

OP here - this is what my instincts are telling me to do. As a classic overachiever turned big law punching bag, however, I have a hard time saving myself. I am also afraid quitting will make finding the next job incredibly hard. What do you think about that? I know they assigned me to this guy for abuse as a way of punishing my maternity leave.

That makes you sound a little crazy when you say the firm is punishing you. It makes way more sense that the asshole partner has burned his way through his last associate and needs someone else for the admittedly large amount of work he generates and you, just coming back from maternity leave and with no pending matters, are the most logical choice.

My advice to is to stick it out because you're either (i) in an in-demand practice area and will get another job shortly in which case no big deal to put up with asshole for a few weeks or (ii) in a less in-demand practice area and it will take you longer to find a new job and you don't want to have a long period of unemployment on your resume.

OP here, don't be so quick to resort to name calling when you don't know the facts that led me to my conclusion. It should be obvious that telling every single detail here is basically signing my name to the thread.

So you think that everyone except for you should have to work for Mr. Asshole? Someone has to do this man's work and if you're an associate that's what you're there for. If you're just coming back from maternity leave you probably have the most capacity to take on extra work and you're probably the easiest one to integrate into the workflow.

You sound like a real asshole yourself.

I think it's ridiculous for OP to suggest this is somehow a punishment when it sounds like the most logical staffing arrangement given the circumstances so if that makes me an asshole so be it. That said, just because it's how OP ended up being staffed doesn't mean she shouldn't try to find a more pleasant working situation either by (i) trying to get work from other partners at the conclusion of this matter or (ii) finding another position elsewhere. Thing is, if asshole partner is powerful (which usually comes from bringing in a lot of business for the firm) there's a decent chance OP may end up working for him again based on the volume of work he is apparently bringing in and his ability to hand pick attorneys to work for him. I still don't think she should quit right now for the two reasons enumerated above.

[Anonymous]

You're ten years out of law school and still an associate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: He is a known misogynist and voted against establishing a women's support group when my firm decided to create one.

LOL- you will never probably never see the irony of immediately calling him a misogynist because he doesn't support you bringing your brand of "men are all pigs"-type feminism into the office.

[Anonymous]

I left a crappy job after 3 mos in to care for my young kids and find a better job. It was great and went great.

[Anonymous]

Life is wayyyy too short to put up with BS like that. Both DH and I have wuit jobs without having new ones lined up. We make 500k+ combined so it obviously didn't lead to disaster or ruin. Additionally i took 2 years off after the birth of my 1st child. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks OP should put on some big girl panties? Just about lawyer I know ends of up doing some amount of work during maternity or other leave. It's called being a professional. So Mr. Litigator is stressed and wants to make sure the associate assigned to his case is going to be ready to help him out when she gets back to the office? Again, its called being a professional.

No. It's not being professional. It is however illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is wayyyy too short to put up with BS like that. Both DH and I have wuit jobs without having new ones lined up. We make 500k+ combined so it obviously didn't lead to disaster or ruin. Additionally i took 2 years off after the birth of my 1st child. No regrets.

How long ago did you take two years off and how long did it take you to find a job after?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks OP should put on some big girl panties? Just about lawyer I know ends of up doing some amount of work during maternity or other leave. It's called being a professional. So Mr. Litigator is stressed and wants to make sure the associate assigned to his case is going to be ready to help him out when she gets back to the office? Again, its called being a professional.

No. It's not being professional. It is however illegal.

DP -- what's illegal?