Resign Now or Later?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks OP should put on some big girl panties? Just about lawyer I know ends of up doing some amount of work during maternity or other leave. It's called being a professional. So Mr. Litigator is stressed and wants to make sure the associate assigned to his case is going to be ready to help him out when she gets back to the office? Again, its called being a professional.

You're an idiot. It sounds like the guy is not respecting her leave, and is reaching out to her now to make sure she knows that he plans to boss her around when she returns.

It's not her job to manage his stress. It's his job to honor her leave and manage his other employees. If he can't do that, he's the one who is unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks OP should put on some big girl panties? Just about lawyer I know ends of up doing some amount of work during maternity or other leave. It's called being a professional. So Mr. Litigator is stressed and wants to make sure the associate assigned to his case is going to be ready to help him out when she gets back to the office? Again, its called being a professional.

Yes, which is not suprising seeing that the point of her post went way over your head.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thank you all for being kind to me. What would you guys tell your next job about why you left? This is the first time I have ever left a position on anything except the best terms. I think it is going to be obvious that I am leaving because of the partner (not that the firm cares, since so many others have left because of him).

[Anonymous]

Trust your instincts.

Just tell the next employer that the end of maternity leave provided a natural time for a transition.

[Anonymous]

OP, I know its past your return date, but I'm just curious. Are you resigning and giving no notice? That seems bad on several levels. If you are giving notice, you'll be back at work for a few weeks (at least) before you leave so the maternity leave won't matter so much. Honestly, you probably should have resigned during your maternity leave so that your 2-weeks notice would have been during your leave. But now it seems it would be in poor form to quit today effective today.
Good luck to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to sort of play devil's advocate, the first year is rough, and I would hate to have to build my credibility at a new firm during that time.

I think my preferences would be:

1) Try to get re-assigned to a different partner. Is there another partner you are close to that you can ask to request you?

2) Resign, take a longer maternity leave, and start looking for a new job around 9 months.

OP here, I tried to get other partners I have worked with to take me back (without mentioning that I was fleeing that other partner). All basically told me that this other partner has first dibs on me. He is powerful and he has few people to work with because all his people keep leaving. I met with quite a bit of sympathy, but no one will help me.

I think I am down to option two on your list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know its past your return date, but I'm just curious. Are you resigning and giving no notice? That seems bad on several levels. If you are giving notice, you'll be back at work for a few weeks (at least) before you leave so the maternity leave won't matter so much. Honestly, you probably should have resigned during your maternity leave so that your 2-weeks notice would have been during your leave. But now it seems it would be in poor form to quit today effective today.
Good luck to you

OP here. Believe me, if I had known I would be coming back to this guy, I would've resigned practically on the very first day of maternity leave. I got the good news from him only three weeks before I was supposed to come back. I spent the next couple of weeks talking to other partners and trying to get myself on other cases. Only in the last week did it become apparent that I am stuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know its past your return date, but I'm just curious. Are you resigning and giving no notice? That seems bad on several levels. If you are giving notice, you'll be back at work for a few weeks (at least) before you leave so the maternity leave won't matter so much. Honestly, you probably should have resigned during your maternity leave so that your 2-weeks notice would have been during your leave. But now it seems it would be in poor form to quit today effective today.
Good luck to you

OP here. Believe me, if I had known I would be coming back to this guy, I would've resigned practically on the very first day of maternity leave. I got the good news from him only three weeks before I was supposed to come back. I spent the next couple of weeks talking to other partners and trying to get myself on other cases. Only in the last week did it become apparent that I am stuck.

So did you just not show up today?

[Anonymous]

I actually disagree with the advice you are getting. If you already have interviews lined up, there is a chance you will have another offer in the near term. The ability to avoid having to explain why you left is incredibly valuable and it will be much easier for you to find something else. I know you have stellar credentials, but you are at a seniority level where it can sometimes be harder to move.

I won't be crude and hostile like a previous PP, but I am sure you can manage to survive the few weeks necessary to see if any of your current interviews pan out. You can always resign later, but you almost certainly won't be able to go back.

Assuming you want and/or need to get another position in the near/mid-term (who knows how many people telling you to quit SAH, which doesn't sound like you want to), I think you should stay, at least until you see how your current prospects work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know its past your return date, but I'm just curious. Are you resigning and giving no notice? That seems bad on several levels. If you are giving notice, you'll be back at work for a few weeks (at least) before you leave so the maternity leave won't matter so much. Honestly, you probably should have resigned during your maternity leave so that your 2-weeks notice would have been during your leave. But now it seems it would be in poor form to quit today effective today.
Good luck to you

OP here. Believe me, if I had known I would be coming back to this guy, I would've resigned practically on the very first day of maternity leave. I got the good news from him only three weeks before I was supposed to come back. I spent the next couple of weeks talking to other partners and trying to get myself on other cases. Only in the last week did it become apparent that I am stuck.

So did you just not show up today?

OP here, I don't want to give too many details of how I went about this just in case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know its past your return date, but I'm just curious. Are you resigning and giving no notice? That seems bad on several levels. If you are giving notice, you'll be back at work for a few weeks (at least) before you leave so the maternity leave won't matter so much. Honestly, you probably should have resigned during your maternity leave so that your 2-weeks notice would have been during your leave. But now it seems it would be in poor form to quit today effective today.
Good luck to you

OP here. Believe me, if I had known I would be coming back to this guy, I would've resigned practically on the very first day of maternity leave. I got the good news from him only three weeks before I was supposed to come back. I spent the next couple of weeks talking to other partners and trying to get myself on other cases. Only in the last week did it become apparent that I am stuck.

So did you just not show up today?

OP here, I don't want to give too many details of how I went about this just in case.

BOOOOOOO, we want info!

[Anonymous]

What's your year, are you a 2013 or newer? That might be ok.

You can only spin it so many ways OP. Are you looking for a more family-friendly environment? Then I would simply say that you can't sustain the workload you had pre-baby, and it probably doesn't matter if you resign now or in 6 months.

If you're just looking to lateral, you run the risk of looking like you just flaked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard enough to return from maternity leave in the best of circumstances. These are more like the worst of circumstances! Preserve your sanity, and resign now.

OP here - this is what my instincts are telling me to do. As a classic overachiever turned big law punching bag, however, I have a hard time saving myself. I am also afraid quitting will make finding the next job incredibly hard. What do you think about that? I know they assigned me to this guy for abuse as a way of punishing my maternity leave.

What makes you think this? Anything happen to you before your leave that stands out?

I ask for a couple of reasons, including that one option may be to tell the firm you think this and explain why. It will (or should) trigger an investigation into your allegations which will at least buy you time to look for a job (and maybe a nice package to walk away). If you just walk away, they will always be able to tell the story they want (you can't cut it, etc).

THat said, it would have been better for you to do this when he first reached out.

DO you have anyone there you trust? A mentor or anything?

[Anonymous]

You say you're working for a terrible firm with a horrible reputation. Is this reputation is well known in your industry? If that is the case, I think a prior poster a suggestion about post-maternity leave transition is a good one. If people know the partner you're working for is a jerk, they will read between the lines. Don't tell the story for them, let them figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say you're working for a terrible firm with a horrible reputation. Is this reputation is well known in your industry? If that is the case, I think a prior poster a suggestion about post-maternity leave transition is a good one. If people know the partner you're working for is a jerk, they will read between the lines. Don't tell the story for them, let them figure it out.

+1. If his reputation is as widely known in the legal circles in your area, then I'm sure people will read between the lines. I'd keep it short and sweet as to the reason why you left.