Unfriendly neighbors in a friendly neighborhood

[Anonymous]

Long story short. The weather had warmed up, I was very obviously pregnant (strangers would ask me when I was due all the time) and I was outside A LOT with our 2 year old. When our baby was born, a relative put one of those stork signs out in our yard. Not long after that, I saw the next door neighbor outside and he congratulated me, handed me a card and a little gift bag and told me that he and his wife didn't even realize that we were expecting a baby until they saw that sign in our yard. I had to laugh.

People are busy with their own lives. They come and go from one thing to the next w/o a lot of time to take in what's happening around them....

[Anonymous]

I've lived in my neighborhood 10 years and only know the names of a handful of people. I like my privacy. I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to any of them, and would avoid saying hi if I could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in my neighborhood 10 years and only know the names of a handful of people. I like my privacy. I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to any of them, and would avoid saying hi if I could.

I second this. By most accounts, I am a nice/friendly person - but I also have hermit-ish tendencies which I really love. When I'm home - even when I'm working in my yard (I've hidden behind bushes before) - I strongly prefer privacy - none of this over-the-fence conversation from neighbors, or stopping to chat when driving by. A wave is plenty.

But, if any of my neighbors ever need me for something important I am super happy to assist, if possible.

[Anonymous]

What PPs seem to have missed is that others have told you how friendly your next door neighbors are, and that's what makes this scenario so odd. Unfortunately that does mean it might have something to do with you personally. Agree with PP who suggested you mention it to a neighbor you are friendly with and see if they know any gossip. Or, host a bbq and invite all the neighbors, get to know them and see what evolves.

We live in a very social and friendly neighborhood, although there are some neighbors who keep themselves which is totally fine but it does sound like there's something more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. There's a neighbor like this on my street. Talks to everyone except us. Given everything, I suspect she doesn't particularly like Asians. I don't know what your neighbor's deal is, but it might be some prejudice like this.

x100000

Be grateful, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in my neighborhood 10 years and only know the names of a handful of people. I like my privacy. I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to any of them, and would avoid saying hi if I could.

I second this. By most accounts, I am a nice/friendly person - but I also have hermit-ish tendencies which I really love. When I'm home - even when I'm working in my yard (I've hidden behind bushes before) - I strongly prefer privacy - none of this over-the-fence conversation from neighbors, or stopping to chat when driving by. A wave is plenty.

But, if any of my neighbors ever need me for something important I am super happy to assist, if possible.

+1

Who needs the gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried reaching out to them? I would feel awkward(as a new person in a neighborhood) to acknowledge a stranger's new baby.

No, we are the new people. They watched me get visibly pregnant and then saw me with a baby carrier. You would. Have think they'd have said something, no? Or is this normal?

I think it is totally normal. You also strike me like one of those high pitch voice neighbors (forgive me if I am wrong, it just an impression from your messages) who are very active in the neighborhood. Your neighbors probably feel if they make one more step forward, you will suck them up with your friendliness. Some people just introverts. It doesn't mean that they are not friendly, they just keep their boundaries and they don't need your baby inside it.

[Anonymous]

When I moved into my first house - the next door neighbor literally gave me the cold shoulder. She later apologized. Apparently her best friend lived in the house I bought and she was not happy about it. But we ended up being friendly (not friends).

Wait for the first snow storm. That's when I see and talk to all my neighbors!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a friendly neighborhood, but only have one home directly next to us since we are at the edge of the neighborhood. For whatever reason, these people are so damn unfriendly. I don't know why. Other (friendly) neighbors talk about how great they are, and how lucky we are to live next
To t hem.. and they seem to. Have plenty of friends.. but have been nothing but standoffish to us from the minute we moved in. We even had a baby in our first year living next door and there was no acknowledgment whatsoever. Is this strange? I am just confused!

On the flip side, we live in a very friendly neighborhood. A new family moved in with 2 school aged kids which we were so happy about. They are incredibly unfriendly and standoffish. At the bus stop they are on their phone with their backs to us. I say hello and good morning in a cheery voice and they reply but go back to the phone.

[Anonymous]

What is it that you want exactly OP? No one is obligated to be your friend or be as friendly as you want them to be so long as they are not mean or rude for no reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a friendly neighborhood, but only have one home directly next to us since we are at the edge of the neighborhood. For whatever reason, these people are so damn unfriendly. I don't know why. Other (friendly) neighbors talk about how great they are, and how lucky we are to live next
To t hem.. and they seem to. Have plenty of friends.. but have been nothing but standoffish to us from the minute we moved in. We even had a baby in our first year living next door and there was no acknowledgment whatsoever. Is this strange? I am just confused!

On the flip side, we live in a very friendly neighborhood. A new family moved in with 2 school aged kids which we were so happy about. They are incredibly unfriendly and standoffish. At the bus stop they are on their phone with their backs to us. I say hello and good morning in a cheery voice and they reply but go back to the phone.

They might have their own friends outside of the neighborhood.

In the case of OP, it might be one of those neighborhoods that has a certain very negative reputation. Keep to yourself, OP. You don't want to be on the crazy woman's radar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don't like you. Who cares why, move on

If you come across as friendly/happy, and they are....not so much....they might take that as a personal affront and/or be making a statement (guess: "back off, basic bitches only!" HAHA).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a friendly neighborhood, but only have one home directly next to us since we are at the edge of the neighborhood. For whatever reason, these people are so damn unfriendly. I don't know why. Other (friendly) neighbors talk about how great they are, and how lucky we are to live next
To t hem.. and they seem to. Have plenty of friends.. but have been nothing but standoffish to us from the minute we moved in. We even had a baby in our first year living next door and there was no acknowledgment whatsoever. Is this strange? I am just confused!

On the flip side, we live in a very friendly neighborhood. A new family moved in with 2 school aged kids which we were so happy about. They are incredibly unfriendly and standoffish. At the bus stop they are on their phone with their backs to us. I say hello and good morning in a cheery voice and they reply but go back to the phone.

They might have their own friends outside of the neighborhood.

In the case of OP, it might be one of those neighborhoods that has a certain very negative reputation. Keep to yourself, OP. You don't want to be on the crazy woman's radar.

They did! From a neighborhood just down the road. I get not needing new friends, but I don't get not even looking up from your phone to engage with others at the bus stop. There are only 3 other families so it's very odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a friendly neighborhood, but only have one home directly next to us since we are at the edge of the neighborhood. For whatever reason, these people are so damn unfriendly. I don't know why. Other (friendly) neighbors talk about how great they are, and how lucky we are to live next
To t hem.. and they seem to. Have plenty of friends.. but have been nothing but standoffish to us from the minute we moved in. We even had a baby in our first year living next door and there was no acknowledgment whatsoever. Is this strange? I am just confused!

Sounds like maybe they find something about you incredibly annoying.

Is there anything about your family/lifestyle that might annoy people? Like a barking dog, a cat that wanders into their yard, loud music playing, a loud vehicle, or anyone smoking near their windows or anything like that?

Did you or do they think that you hit a windfall? New neighbors might be jealous. This happened to a friend of mine. My friend comes from a wealthy family, but is very down to earth, quite cheery (it comes naturally, and I am jealous myself) and keeps to herself. (Her husband came into a relatively smaller amount, now he p*ssed it away, but my friend still has her money. She invested wisely and has much more common sense than her DH.) Anyway, it seemed like the neighbors only knew about what they could find on Google, so they pounced. It was only a few of them, but they liked rallying up their drinking buddies and calling the cops. The cops found out the truth, my friend hired a great lawyer, and everything is fine now. But a couple of the neighbors really wanted to pick a fight. If this person is not gossipy and antagonistic, let it go. She probably is not worth knowing, after all. Who knows what her issue might be. It might be a mental health problem, or she might be really against cheery or happy people, like my example.

[Anonymous]

We have neighbors like this. They do talk to us but it's obvious that they don't like us. Everyone in the neighborhood thinks they are friendly, neighborly, etc.

The neighbor's children are very well behaved, they listen to everything their parents tell them to do. She's a stay at home mom and organized and has everything scheduled, her routine. my children on the other hand are rumbustious and not well-behaved. My feeling is that she doesn't want my children to be a bad influence on her children. Anyway, it's awkward because it's very obvious that they don't like us. My children like her children and I can tell they are hurt when they can't play with those neighbors. They have play dates with other children in the neighbors.