Adult Anger in Women..Question

[Anonymous]

Since I got divorced, I very rarely experience anger anymore.

Just sayin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since I got divorced, I very rarely experience anger anymore.

Just sayin

Did you have anger issues before?

A lot of people indicate a stressor, but my feeling is that if you don't have issues in other situations , but only in one, then it isn't a psychiatric issue, but a situational issue. Agree?

[Anonymous]

Cursing and insults

[Anonymous]

I never yell or curse. Neither does my DH. I am guilty of being snippy or short when I am angry. But tantrums? Never. I overheard my 27 year old tell his girlfriend that he had never heard me raise my voice. I'm pretty proud of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not an arguer, I refuse to argue with other people. I have been like this for the past 15-20 years (I am 47). We can talk and discuss and agree to disagree, but I am not going to argue with you because you are allowed to have your opinion even if it is different than mine.

That being said, my husband and I disagree and talk about stuff we disagree on and either he sees my point of view or I see his and we move on from there or we agree to disagree and come up with a compromise if necessary. There are definite rules of engagement when we talk about things such as, do not let things fester and build up, say what needs to be said as soon as possible, do not disrespect the other person (no name calling, cussing, condesention, etc.), give the other person space to calm down, think, or get themselves together if necessary (this can be a few minutes or a few hours, but not overnight), do not go to sleep angry... work it out, at least come to a point where both parties are no longer emotional.

You would think more people would get this.

When you are very frustrated over changes not being made for decades, sometimes it's hard to be rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since I got divorced, I very rarely experience anger anymore.

Just sayin

Did you have anger issues before?

A lot of people indicate a stressor, but my feeling is that if you don't have issues in other situations , but only in one, then it isn't a psychiatric issue, but a situational issue. Agree?

I'm sure my ex would say I had "anger issues". When he would lie, cheat, and tell me I was crazy for thinking he was cheating when I was holding the proof in my hands, I would get very angry.

Once he left all my anger issues magically disappeared. It's so strange

I don't recall anyone else I lived with such as family of origin or roommates suggesting I had anger issues before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I VERY rarely get angry at DH. It's more that I vent to him about something else I'm angry about in which case I often yell and curse the situation. I would not say I have temper tantrums, ever. When I get angry at DH I sometimes get loud (I'm Italian) but I'm over it quickly. When we were first together and I was in my early 20's I was passive aggressive (I once borrowed a friend's Bedazzler and Bedazzled DH's favorite jeans when I was angry at him). Luckily I grew up.

This is awesome.

[Anonymous]

When I get angry I get tense and visibly kind of upset. We don't yell. Usually at some point I will start to cry.

But my DH can tell IMMEDIATELY if I start to get mad and vice versa and we'll talk it out. Neither of us likes being in a state of conflict so it can't last long before we get past it.

For friends I tend to get cold and just ignore/avoid people until I'm over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since I got divorced, I very rarely experience anger anymore.

Just sayin

Did you have anger issues before?

A lot of people indicate a stressor, but my feeling is that if you don't have issues in other situations , but only in one, then it isn't a psychiatric issue, but a situational issue. Agree?

I'm sure my ex would say I had "anger issues". When he would lie, cheat, and tell me I was crazy for thinking he was cheating when I was holding the proof in my hands, I would get very angry.

Once he left all my anger issues magically disappeared. It's so strange

I don't recall anyone else I lived with such as family of origin or roommates suggesting I had anger issues before.

Yeah! So, sometimes there is sonething to be continually angry about. I think women get labeled as psychiatric too often.

[Anonymous]

The only person I would ever argue with would be my husband, and I always win, because it's impossible for me to lose. I can do something wrong and make you apologize for it. By the time I am finished twisting and turning everything around, he's completely lost. Poor guy. It's a good thing he enjoys the challenge. I keep a lot up my sleeve, so that I can throw things out here and there as bait. He'll never figure out all of my secrets. I enjoy playing the game. He enjoys the mystery. Also, if I need to, I can make myself cry. It comes in handy. He's a sucker for tears, and has no idea that they aren't real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only person I would ever argue with would be my husband, and I always win, because it's impossible for me to lose. I can do something wrong and make you apologize for it. By the time I am finished twisting and turning everything around, he's completely lost. Poor guy. It's a good thing he enjoys the challenge. I keep a lot up my sleeve, so that I can throw things out here and there as bait. He'll never figure out all of my secrets. I enjoy playing the game. He enjoys the mystery. Also, if I need to, I can make myself cry. It comes in handy. He's a sucker for tears, and has no idea that they aren't real. [/quote/]

So, I'm not sure I would be proud of this. Sounds manipulative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a totally irrational meltdown once every 2 or 3 years. I know I'm being irrational, but then think, "well, I've already gone full on crazy, I might as well ride this train all the way to the station."

The rest of the time, we barely fight. Just typical eye roll stuff once a month.

Love this thread! I relate to so much of it. This, especially. We should be friends IRL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a totally irrational meltdown once every 2 or 3 years. I know I'm being irrational, but then think, "well, I've already gone full on crazy, I might as well ride this train all the way to the station."

The rest of the time, we barely fight. Just typical eye roll stuff once a month.

Love this thread! I relate to so much of it. This, especially. We should be friends IRL.

So what causes the meltdown so infrequently?

[Anonymous]

What was the last thing you threw a "tantrum" over, and what does your spouse/so do about it..if anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only person I would ever argue with would be my husband, and I always win, because it's impossible for me to lose. I can do something wrong and make you apologize for it. By the time I am finished twisting and turning everything around, he's completely lost. Poor guy. It's a good thing he enjoys the challenge. I keep a lot up my sleeve, so that I can throw things out here and there as bait. He'll never figure out all of my secrets. I enjoy playing the game. He enjoys the mystery. Also, if I need to, I can make myself cry. It comes in handy. He's a sucker for tears, and has no idea that they aren't real.

You sound like a jerk.