What do I say to my kid when other parents clearly did the project for his classmates?

[Anonymous]

I blame teachers for assigning projects that lend themselves to parental interference. And I applaud teachers that include this statement in the instructions: the project should be completed by the student, not the parent. Please do not assist your child with the project---because that defeats the purpose, and we think you are a weirdo helicopter parent. Seriously...we will ridicule you in the teacher's lounge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right? So frustrating.

Our classroom presentations were PowerPoints and Reports that were 5- 10 pages long.

My kid wrote her slanting sentences onto a poster board.

I told my kid that she did an awesome job as SHE was the one to finish the project herself. And very very few did.

Learning how to do a power point presentation is easy. I taught my second grader the basics of power point on a Mac where all you have to do is click, drag, and drop into place pictures or clips. Then type underneath. Many elementary school kids really are independently doing their projects. My other child has been going to the Home Improvement stores kids build clinics since he was 3. He has a tool kit and can sand, saw, drill, nail, and screw at 7. He spends time with his grandparents who have an awesome garage that is like a wood shop. When he makes a project it looks like his parents made it but he really did. Don't underestimate the talent in this area. Many high achieving parents who end up with talented kids.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. Teachers know when class room work/tests do not match outside work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right? So frustrating.

Our classroom presentations were PowerPoints and Reports that were 5- 10 pages long.

My kid wrote her slanting sentences onto a poster board.

I told my kid that she did an awesome job as SHE was the one to finish the project herself. And very very few did.

Learning how to do a power point presentation is easy. I taught my second grader the basics of power point on a Mac where all you have to do is click, drag, and drop into place pictures or clips. Then type underneath. Many elementary school kids really are independently doing their projects. My other child has been going to the Home Improvement stores kids build clinics since he was 3. He has a tool kit and can sand, saw, drill, nail, and screw at 7. He spends time with his grandparents who have an awesome garage that is like a wood shop. When he makes a project it looks like his parents made it but he really did. Don't underestimate the talent in this area. Many high achieving parents who end up with talented kids.

I am not creative at all and my work looks like my child's sadly. BUT, depending on what we are making, we also have a house full of tools and our child (2nd) has his own basic tools, including a drill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right? So frustrating.

Our classroom presentations were PowerPoints and Reports that were 5- 10 pages long.

My kid wrote her slanting sentences onto a poster board.

I told my kid that she did an awesome job as SHE was the one to finish the project herself. And very very few did.

Learning how to do a power point presentation is easy. I taught my second grader the basics of power point on a Mac where all you have to do is click, drag, and drop into place pictures or clips. Then type underneath. Many elementary school kids really are independently doing their projects. My other child has been going to the Home Improvement stores kids build clinics since he was 3. He has a tool kit and can sand, saw, drill, nail, and screw at 7. He spends time with his grandparents who have an awesome garage that is like a wood shop. When he makes a project it looks like his parents made it but he really did. Don't underestimate the talent in this area. Many high achieving parents who end up with talented kids.

OP here. Well, sure, some kids have specialized talents, and just due to natural variability in skill and effort there is always an outlier in either direction. But the previous unit's projects were completed at school and I saw the display. Not a savant skill in sight.

DS came home excited about his day, so I said nothing. Also a couple of times as he was describing other projects he specifically said that "their parents helped" so I'm guessing maybe the kids just said so during their presentations. DS didn't seem to care one way or the other about it. And actually that makes me feel much better. I guess I was assuming there would be pretense that the child did the project independently but if they complete it as a family project and are open about it, I kind of think that's sweet. If the teacher is confused how to grade everyone, she can give more input next time.

[Anonymous]

Sadly this is an area that causes a lot of stress for parents and can bring on bad feelings toward the teacher. It's doesn't have to be this way. It's helped so much if the teacher would just communicate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. I wonder what teachers think?!

Former 1st grade teacher here. I never gave assignments that were to be completed at home and required parent assistance. What does this teach the child? (I would provide parents ideas thing they could do with their child that would lead to learning opportunities, but I wouldn’t require these things be done)
I can tell you that most teachers know. A really good teacher will require the student talk about what he/she did to make the instrument. And, then ask questions about the making of the instrument. Good questions. The students who did their own work will be able to answer those questions themselves. The others will not. No need to shame these students. But, it does send a subtle message that the expectation is that the student do the required work.

[Anonymous]

I don't call out other projects or make any commentary. I just tell my own child that mommy and daddy already went to school and learned how to: Write nicely in straight lines; type; build an egg drop container; make a diorama; etc. We are happy to let her bounce ideas off us, talk through how to execute something, take her for supplies; etc.

Depending on the project, it sometimes looks great because she's good at that particular skill and sometimes looks exactly like a child of her age did it because she's still developing that particular skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly this is an area that causes a lot of stress for parents and can bring on bad feelings toward the teacher. It's doesn't have to be this way. It's helped so much if the teacher would just communicate.

Our brilliant private 5th grade science teacher just told the students: "Do a Science project! It's due on april ____". That was it. Did it ever occur to him that a 11/12 year old doesn't know what "science project" means, so when they come to mommy or daddy the night before it's do there is panic in the household? Those are two words I never want to hear again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to helicopter parenthood. Later you will see the parents that help the kids with Science Fair and Tech projects and WIN. They do their kids homework and write papers and even their college essays and buy admission to top schools. They teach that winning at any cost is OK. These kids will be adults out in the world someday and your kids has to deal with them then in the business world.

Do you help your kids get ahead by cheating or teach them better moral values?

Moral values are for suckers IMHO.

+2. Even the President was helped by his dad's small loan of a million dollars. Now he's President. Come on, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't call out other projects or make any commentary. I just tell my own child that mommy and daddy already went to school and learned how to: Write nicely in straight lines; type; build an egg drop container; make a diorama; etc. We are happy to let her bounce ideas off us, talk through how to execute something, take her for supplies; etc.

I went to school and still don't know how to do any of those things. Projects like these are total wastes of time. Just do what you can to get your kid an "A" and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right? So frustrating.

Our classroom presentations were PowerPoints and Reports that were 5- 10 pages long.

My kid wrote her slanting sentences onto a poster board.

I told my kid that she did an awesome job as SHE was the one to finish the project herself. And very very few did.

Learning how to do a power point presentation is easy. I taught my second grader the basics of power point on a Mac where all you have to do is click, drag, and drop into place pictures or clips. Then type underneath. Many elementary school kids really are independently doing their projects. My other child has been going to the Home Improvement stores kids build clinics since he was 3. He has a tool kit and can sand, saw, drill, nail, and screw at 7. He spends time with his grandparents who have an awesome garage that is like a wood shop. When he makes a project it looks like his parents made it but he really did. Don't underestimate the talent in this area. Many high achieving parents who end up with talented kids.

+2. Seriously OP. Just because your kid couldn't do them doesn't mean that none of those projects were done by kids. Telling your kid something that you don't know for a fact is terrible.

[Anonymous]

I saw this happen with my own two eyes.
I didn't say a thing.
Of course, the teacher wasn't fooled,
nor were the other parents who saw the presentations.
Let's just say it got noted.

[j2415]

When my son was in elementary, I helped him in his projects. I let him decide what he wants to do and I helped him in other things like most of them involves arts and crafts. We did most of his projects together, and most of the time he got an A. One time we did a project in Science, there is no way that a 1st grader can do it alone, some require glue gun, cutting with knives and cooking.

Your son might noticed that his classmate’s project looks perfect, if he asked, you can try to talk to him and reassure him that his project looks better too, you may want to tell him that their parents help them. Thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. I wonder what teachers think?!

We know when the parents do it. I try to give extra special praise to students who obviously did their own hard work.

As a parent I stay out of their projects. That's not to say I won't help with a hot glue gun or something if they need it, but they run the show and I just periodically comment on their ownership and responsibility for the project.