What do I say to my kid when other parents clearly did the project for his classmates?

[Anonymous]

This is why more and more teachers have kids do the projects at school.

[Anonymous]

This is a direct quote from the description of a project my kid completed: "Parent involvement completes the partnership between home and school and contributes to the overall success of the students’ creative literary experience."

How much "parent involvement" is acceptable?

[Anonymous]

Your child needs to focus on him and what he does, not others. Will he be upset and sad if others have a tutor and gets an A on a test while he gets a C? Tell him it is not a competition and he goes to school so that he can learn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a direct quote from the description of a project my kid completed: "Parent involvement completes the partnership between home and school and contributes to the overall success of the students’ creative literary experience."

How much "parent involvement" is acceptable?

How interesting! My kids' school knocked down an extensive project for "parental involvement". This was notwithstanding the fact it was an SN child, we had been talking with teachers and Principal about how there was too much make-work homework and too many classes for that particular grade (5th). Even their own Latin teacher told me they were offering Latin for 20 mins. a few times a week just to say that they "offered Latin" and she couldn't work or teach under those circumstances but still the school did nothing. So of course we had to help DC and we were all up until 3 a.m. to do it because she also had homework that entire week in 7 subjects. And the punitive teacher knocked her project down a grade for "too much parental involvement". We left. Not worth 40K a year for that kind of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why more and more teachers have kids do the projects at school.

That's how it should be. They are in school 7 hours. Then they come home and do homework and reading. We barely have time to have dinner together before it's time to get ready for bed after all the school stuff is done. Extra projects to do at home means extra whining and extra stress which I don't really want to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to helicopter parenthood. Later you will see the parents that help the kids with Science Fair and Tech projects and WIN. They do their kids homework and write papers and even their college essays and buy admission to top schools. They teach that winning at any cost is OK. These kids will be adults out in the world someday and your kids has to deal with them then in the business world.

Do you help your kids get ahead by cheating or teach them better moral values?

Moral values are for suckers IMHO.

Our school has a lot of scientists and engineers. Our science fairs have a huge WOW factor, but you can tell that the parents came up with the idea and did much of the work.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to say anything, unless your child becomes uncomfortable, and then you say that it's the effort that counts.

As a scientist and PTA STEM organizer, I tell families that it doesn't matter what help their kid receives as long as they understand the topic and can answer questions about it. I prefer a kid coming in with a messy project but a perfect grasp of the subject matter, than a picture perfect product (done by either chil or parent - some kids have such wonderful artistic and fine motor skills!) but one which the kid has imperfectly understood.

As the parent of a child with a fine-motor disability...
I really hope other families don't get upset when I do the work for my youngster. He conceives and completely understands the concepts, but needs my hands. He even had a scribing accommodation at one point, but you'd never guess that about him. So no snap judgements please.

[Anonymous]

Try not to put the other kids down because he might repeat it to the kids and the parents if you happen to see them sometimes.

Yeah, I think some kids are proud that their parents help them do the project, especially if it turns out to be wow one. Although, it should be the child that does the majority of the work. I think it's a good thing to be your child's helper. Let your child know you are here when you need help as a helper. If you think using the hammer might cause a problem, ask me and i will help you kiddo.
They get a sense of hey, my parents did this with me but I took lead. They are just my helpers and not do the entire project.

[Anonymous]

My 11 year-old DS goes to a Charter school and one of my most favorite things about it is the fact that all of the projects are completed AT SCHOOL. Three times per year they have what they call "exhibition" where all of the projects are on display. I love it b/c it is obvious that all the kids did them with no parental help at all. Such a difference from previous years at his other school, where kids were coming in with these professional displays made at Staples, etc. I am happy to be "involved" by driving him to choose materials, helping to pay for materials, and helping him brainstorm for "ideas", but that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a direct quote from the description of a project my kid completed: "Parent involvement completes the partnership between home and school and contributes to the overall success of the students’ creative literary experience."

How much "parent involvement" is acceptable?

How interesting! My kids' school knocked down an extensive project for "parental involvement". This was notwithstanding the fact it was an SN child, we had been talking with teachers and Principal about how there was too much make-work homework and too many classes for that particular grade (5th). Even their own Latin teacher told me they were offering Latin for 20 mins. a few times a week just to say that they "offered Latin" and she couldn't work or teach under those circumstances but still the school did nothing. So of course we had to help DC and we were all up until 3 a.m. to do it because she also had homework that entire week in 7 subjects. And the punitive teacher knocked her project down a grade for "too much parental involvement". We left. Not worth 40K a year for that kind of abuse.

First pp here. Wow, that schedule sounds intense! This is an annual county-wide optional project so DC chose to do it. But it is a competition so the best per category and grade get awards, so the amount of parent involvement can definitely influence the outcome.

[Anonymous]

Just wait for the science fair projects. The parents are super involved in those. It is. Sry obvious which kids did their own work.

[Anonymous]

It's the teacher's fault. Teachers who do not give clear guidance on the actual degree of acceptable parent involvement are not doing their job. They're wimps. Many teachers are just wimps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry I did not help you and will next time.

This. Help your kid OP

Or, PP, let your kid do his own project.

[Anonymous]

So are honest with him and tell our son that it is obvious that some parents help. And we are proud of him for doing it himself, and he is learning more because of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So are honest with him and tell our son that it is obvious that some parents help. And we are proud of him for doing it himself, and he is learning more because of it.

+1