Forcing toddlers to,hug and kiss relatives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

I feel sorry for your kid.

I feel sorry for the relatives who raised OP's husband with love and want to be affectionate, in an innocent and totally normal way, to their grandchild/niece/nephew, only to be cold shouldered, rebuffed, told they are wrong for doing that and made to feel weird.

You sound like a weirdo.

[Anonymous]

--don't teach a child that they must allow themselves to be touched to be "polite."

--don't teach a child that relatives have a right to touch them even when they don't want to

--don't teach a child that he will get to require others (kids, relatives) to let him touch them when he's the older generation.

--don't impose standards on kids - like everybody gets to touch you- that you would never accept as an adult.

--run like hell from people who think unwanted touching is something anyone has to put up with

--run like hell from people who think healthy adults want to force kids to hug them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:--don't teach a child that they must allow themselves to be touched to be "polite."

--don't teach a child that relatives have a right to touch them even when they don't want to

--don't teach a child that he will get to require others (kids, relatives) to let him touch them when he's the older generation.

--don't impose standards on kids - like everybody gets to touch you- that you would never accept as an adult.

--run like hell from people who think unwanted touching is something anyone has to put up with

--run like hell from people who think healthy adults want to force kids to hug them.

+1,000

I can't believe people are actually saying the kid should be forced to do more hugging and kissing then he is comfortable doing. Talk about sending the wrong message.

[Anonymous]

My mother, who was not at all liberal when it came to parenting (very old school) had this rule for us growing up- we had to say hello and goodbye to everyone but we could choose whether we wanted to shake hands, high five, hug, or no touching. It is so bizarre and upsetting that people are still debating this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

You do realize that people who abuse others are not strangers right? You need to get over it.

[Anonymous]

I feel you OP. My in law was visiting this weekend, and she read bedtime stories to my 4 yo DS. When she came out of the bedroom, she said, "It took him a few minutes to give me a hug because he didn't want to, and just wanted to go to bed. But I said I would cry if he didn't, and he finally did."
I wanted to scream.

I always tell him it is his choice to hug, wave, high five or fist bump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

Except that SIL is an adult who is throwing a hissy fit because a toddler didn't hug her. On what planet is that ok? It's a TODDLER! It's not just about boundaries, it's ridiculous to get upset about this because toddlers are contrarian in the best of circumstances. My toddler will refuse to hug me (her mother) if I seem to eager about it, just because she likes saying no. OH WELL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

Except that SIL is an adult who is throwing a hissy fit because a toddler didn't hug her. On what planet is that ok? It's a TODDLER! It's not just about boundaries, it's ridiculous to get upset about this because toddlers are contrarian in the best of circumstances. My toddler will refuse to hug me (her mother) if I seem to eager about it, just because she likes saying no. OH WELL.

Because a toddler didn't hug her multiple times. He did the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

Except that SIL is an adult who is throwing a hissy fit because a toddler didn't hug her. On what planet is that ok? It's a TODDLER! It's not just about boundaries, it's ridiculous to get upset about this because toddlers are contrarian in the best of circumstances. My toddler will refuse to hug me (her mother) if I seem to eager about it, just because she likes saying no. OH WELL.

Because a toddler didn't hug her multiple times. He did the first time.

Seriously. Who are these people getting their feelings so deeply hurt by a TODDLER?! If a relative of mine cried because a small child didn't want to hug them (again), I would have serious concerns about their mental/emotional stability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is 3 and his Aunt, my SIL has this habit of saying goodbye 100 times before leaving and forcing my kid to hug and kiss her each time. Today he said no after the first goodby when she asked for him to give her another hug and kiss and she grabbed him to the point that I said, "He said No!". She works at a rape crisis hotline so one would think she'd understand boundaries. Well she got angry and then walked out crying and of course I'm the crazy over protective mom. When I tell my kid no I mean no and he knows what the word means. I NEVER want him to ever think No means Yes. He also is learning about boundaries and personal space in school too. It makes me uncirtable when she does this. Now I feel like a storm is brewing between us which always causing a fight with me and my husband. This sucks.

No, a 3 year old doesn't know or understand any of this. You're clearly projecting some of your issues on your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

You do realize that people who abuse others are not strangers right? You need to get over it.

Wow. You refuse your kids any tactile contact, because someone somewhere may abuse their child? Y'all need therapy. Lots and lots of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

You do realize that people who abuse others are not strangers right? You need to get over it.

Wow. You refuse your kids any tactile contact, because someone somewhere may abuse their child? Y'all need therapy. Lots and lots of it.

Yes, because saying "I don't force my child to give hugs on demand" means refusing all physical contact.

[Anonymous]

Any grown ass person who gets insulted because a kid will not be physical with them needs intense, immediate therapy.

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Any grown ass person who gets insulted because a kid will not be physical with them needs intense, immediate therapy.

OP said the SIL "got angry and walked out crying"!!! It's unbelievable to me that anyone is defending this lunatic behavior.