Forcing toddlers to,hug and kiss relatives

[Anonymous]

If a child doesn't want to be hugged or give a hug he shouldn't be forced to no matter who the relative is. A handshake a high five a wave or blowing a kiss is just as nice. Why would you allow someone to touch your child when the child clearly says no and doesn't want to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

I feel sorry for your kid.

I feel sorry for the relatives who raised OP's husband with love and want to be affectionate, in an innocent and totally normal way, to their grandchild/niece/nephew, only to be cold shouldered, rebuffed, told they are wrong for doing that and made to feel weird.

I also feel sorry for you. It seems like you've been raised to believe that love means you give up all bodily autonomy and agency. Scarred little kids are forced to hug grandparents and a little boy will be forced to hug his aunt until he cries. In my house, my kids feel safe and respected. They show affection when they feel it - not when they're bullied into it. I'm sorry the bullying kind of affection is all you've known.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, reminds me of my MIL who had either newly married her husband or was engaged. She told my 2 or 3 year old that she would read her a new book she'd just given her only if she gave her husband/fiancé a hug. Terrible, terrible message (and judgment). One of many issues I have with that dense woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

I feel sorry for your kid.

I feel sorry for the relatives who raised OP's husband with love and want to be affectionate, in an innocent and totally normal way, to their grandchild/niece/nephew, only to be cold shouldered, rebuffed, told they are wrong for doing that and made to feel weird.

I also feel sorry for you. It seems like you've been raised to believe that love means you give up all bodily autonomy and agency. Scarred little kids are forced to hug grandparents and a little boy will be forced to hug his aunt until he cries. In my house, my kids feel safe and respected. They show affection when they feel it - not when they're bullied into it. I'm sorry the bullying kind of affection is all you've known.

Oh, spare me the dramatics. LOL--so totally absurd

[Anonymous]

I don't make my 2 year old give or receive hugs and kisses from me, and I'm his mother! If he says he doesn't want a kiss I say ok and move on. He usually come back and asks for one after that, but it's up to him!

[Anonymous]

I think you could have handled it in a less harsh manner. "Ok, you don't feel like hugs. Can you give Aunt a high five or blow a kiss?"

[Anonymous]

OP here... maybe I could've handled it better but when my son started saying no and trying to get away from her and her grabbing at him it made me react. I was so upset. I just felt like she doesn't respect my child and his space. He tells me he doesn't want her to come over and I wonder if this is why. He will always give her a hug goodbye but it's after he does it once he doesn't want to do it 100 times. I don't like seeing children forced to hug and kiss people they don't want to. There is something creepy about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you could have handled it in a less harsh manner. "Ok, you don't feel like hugs. Can you give Aunt a high five or blow a kiss?"

OP you are 100% in the right here, but I've found more success breezily brushing them off in a cheerful way. "Goodness me, Larlo didn't get a good nap today, did we, Larlo? Give Aunt Asshole a fist bump and blow a kiss! Next time maybe you can ask to sit in her lap and read a story!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here... maybe I could've handled it better but when my son started saying no and trying to get away from her and her grabbing at him it made me react. I was so upset. I just felt like she doesn't respect my child and his space. He tells me he doesn't want her to come over and I wonder if this is why. He will always give her a hug goodbye but it's after he does it once he doesn't want to do it 100 times. I don't like seeing children forced to hug and kiss people they don't want to. There is something creepy about it.

Quite frankly, 3 year olds should be respecting their older relatives. Not necessarily the other way around. He doesn't have license to be a petulant brat.

[Anonymous]

What gives his aunt the right to grab and force herself on him for hugs? It's creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What gives his aunt the right to grab and force herself on him for hugs? It's creepy.

Oh, give me a break. Seriously. You act like she's a freaking child predator. How about you get a grip and he be respectful and kind to his aunt and give her ONE STUPID HUG. Instead of being a little jerk!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What gives his aunt the right to grab and force herself on him for hugs? It's creepy.

Oh, give me a break. Seriously. You act like she's a freaking child predator. How about you get a grip and he be respectful and kind to his aunt and give her ONE STUPID HUG. Instead of being a little jerk!

Did you not read the post?

He gave her a hug - then she wanted another, and another, etc. Goodbye is not supposed to be an hour long ordeal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What gives his aunt the right to grab and force herself on him for hugs? It's creepy.

Oh, give me a break. Seriously. You act like she's a freaking child predator. How about you get a grip and he be respectful and kind to his aunt and give her ONE STUPID HUG. Instead of being a little jerk!

Did you not read the post?

He gave her a hug - then she wanted another, and another, etc. Goodbye is not supposed to be an hour long ordeal

AMEN! He always hugs and kisses her when she arrives to greet her and once when she leaves. But when she goes back again and again it's annoying to him. Just because he is 3 doesn't mean his aunt has the right to grab and force hugs and kisses when he's pulling away and saying no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What gives his aunt the right to grab and force herself on him for hugs? It's creepy.

Oh, give me a break. Seriously. You act like she's a freaking child predator. How about you get a grip and he be respectful and kind to his aunt and give her ONE STUPID HUG. Instead of being a little jerk!

3-year old are little jerks sometimes. That's life. But a grown woman who cries because a toddler doesn't want to give her another hug is unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Who actually enjoys a hug from a non willing participant? If a kid wants to give me a hug I'm all for it, but I'm not into forcing a kid, much less anybody else, to give me affection when they don't want to. Ew.