Is it ok to ask for baby clothing back if they are done with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If she got rid of it already, it would be totally fine.

OP some of the DCUM set will assume that you couldn't ever convey this, so the friend will feel put upon when you ask. But I think it could be done.

[Anonymous]

I would totally ask. Why buy all the stuff again if your friend might have it and isn't using it.

[Anonymous]

I would so not care if you asked "hey do you still have those old sleep sacks? I could use them! If you don't have them still, that's fine, I'll buy some more. Just thought I'd check".

You are not asking for everything back. Just something specific. I have shit tons of hand me downs for my 2nd kid. I will be unloading stuff soon. However, if a friend asked "hey I could use some of those pjs I gave you" I'd dig out whatever I could find. Might not be the right stuff, but I'd do my best!

[Anonymous]

You don't have to specifically ask for your old stuff back, you could ask "hey, do you have any 3m sleep sacks laying around that I can borrow?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you "gave" telling her you'd want them back - do not! I personally would have boxed up any given under those circumstance and returned asap as I would feel totally obligated to buy new any stained/faded. More than likely - if you see her - she will offer to return anything still OK and also get you some nice new outfits or other hand me downs form her kids

This. Both of my sisters have given me clothing from their kids with the instructions they don't want them back but I'm never allowed to get rid of them. So I don't use the clothes, they're boxed up ready to go into storage because I can't be bothered keeping track of what came from who and treating baby clothing like precious heirlooms.

What? Why did you accept them if you can't use them and can't pass them on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to specifically ask for your old stuff back, you could ask "hey, do you have any 3m sleep sacks laying around that I can borrow?"

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would so not care if you asked "hey do you still have those old sleep sacks? I could use them! If you don't have them still, that's fine, I'll buy some more. Just thought I'd check".

You are not asking for everything back. Just something specific. I have shit tons of hand me downs for my 2nd kid. I will be unloading stuff soon. However, if a friend asked "hey I could use some of those pjs I gave you" I'd dig out whatever I could find. Might not be the right stuff, but I'd do my best!

+1

I'm so surprised by all of the posters saying that they would never ask this of a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to specifically ask for your old stuff back, you could ask "hey, do you have any 3m sleep sacks laying around that I can borrow?"

+1

If I were your friend, I would have no idea which sleep sacks came from you, another friend, or a gift from a relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to specifically ask for your old stuff back, you could ask "hey, do you have any 3m sleep sacks laying around that I can borrow?"

+1

If I were your friend, I would have no idea which sleep sacks came from you, another friend, or a gift from a relative.

OP here. I just asked the friend if she had any 3m sleepers and she said she will bring me some tomorrow. We already had plans to meet. I don't know why I unnecessarily stressed about this. I did not specify that I wanted mine back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you "gave" telling her you'd want them back - do not! I personally would have boxed up any given under those circumstance and returned asap as I would feel totally obligated to buy new any stained/faded. More than likely - if you see her - she will offer to return anything still OK and also get you some nice new outfits or other hand me downs form her kids

This. Both of my sisters have given me clothing from their kids with the instructions they don't want them back but I'm never allowed to get rid of them. So I don't use the clothes, they're boxed up ready to go into storage because I can't be bothered keeping track of what came from who and treating baby clothing like precious heirlooms.

What? Why did you accept them if you can't use them and can't pass them on?

My family has a very bad pattern of just bringing things to my home (or even more common, sending things with other people that are visiting us) without my permission and leaving them here. Even though I have the smallest place, I end up with a lot of their "stuff" that I don't need/want. It's as much my problem as theirs, I need to put my big girl pants on and tell them to get bent and stop giving me their crap. Just haven't worked up the courage yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was super annoying when my friend did it. We ended up just not using the stuff and giving it back. Well meaning but not helpful.

Wow. Are you always this ungrateful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you "gave" telling her you'd want them back - do not! I personally would have boxed up any given under those circumstance and returned asap as I would feel totally obligated to buy new any stained/faded. More than likely - if you see her - she will offer to return anything still OK and also get you some nice new outfits or other hand me downs form her kids

This. Both of my sisters have given me clothing from their kids with the instructions they don't want them back but I'm never allowed to get rid of them. So I don't use the clothes, they're boxed up ready to go into storage because I can't be bothered keeping track of what came from who and treating baby clothing like precious heirlooms.

What? Why did you accept them if you can't use them and can't pass them on?

My family has a very bad pattern of just bringing things to my home (or even more common, sending things with other people that are visiting us) without my permission and leaving them here. Even though I have the smallest place, I end up with a lot of their "stuff" that I don't need/want. It's as much my problem as theirs, I need to put my big girl pants on and tell them to get bent and stop giving me their crap. Just haven't worked up the courage yet.

PP, you are the doormat of the family, I'm sorry to say.

[Anonymous]

NO. Do not ask back clothes, toys. It's annoying. Don't give unless you are willing to part with them.

[Anonymous]

A friend of ours did this, and I was so annoyed because I always ask before they give a hand me down whether they want things back. If so, I refuse because I'm just not organized enough to keep track of multiple hand-me-downs. I also purge like crazy in order to maintain order in our small house.

So, OP, if your friend already asked you whether you wanted anything back, and you said no, then don't ask for your stuff back specifically.

However, I do think it's ok to ask for *general* items, just not yours specifically. And make sure your friend doesn't want it back!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of ours did this, and I was so annoyed because I always ask before they give a hand me down whether they want things back. If so, I refuse because I'm just not organized enough to keep track of multiple hand-me-downs. I also purge like crazy in order to maintain order in our small house.

So, OP, if your friend already asked you whether you wanted anything back, and you said no, then don't ask for your stuff back specifically.

However, I do think it's ok to ask for *general* items, just not yours specifically. And make sure your friend doesn't want it back!

And another ungrateful one.