Is it ok to ask for baby clothing back if they are done with it?
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Anonymous
| I think you should be clear when you give stuff away whether you want it back or not. Solves this problem. |
Anonymous
Yup! I think if you have any intention of getting the stuff back, you need to make that clear up front. This isn't just for etiquette, but also because your old baby stuff will be intermingling with all of her other stuff, and she'll need to have a way to remember what's yours. After a few months of an infant, it's unlikely she'll remember the source of every item. |
Anonymous
My friend recently gave me her exersaucer and jumperoo. Her SIL is visiting and she asked me if she could borrow the items she gave me. I had zero problem with it. We gave away our swing, pack n play, stroller, etc to another friend. They had a second child and using all items. Of course I would not ask for those items back. My friend's child is almost 1 year old. He has long outgrown these 3m sleepsacks. If she no longer has them, it is no big deal. |
Anonymous
OP, I think it is fine to ask very generally - "do you have any sleep slacks for a 3 month old I might be able to borrow? We have everything else we need for DD, but given how quickly she will grow out of them, we are hoping to just borrow a few." Then it is clear that you don't want your stuff back, you would just like to use the sleep sacks. Given that you gave her (and keep giving her) a bunch of clothes, I don't think this is a big deal. I wouldn't be offended if my SIL, who gave me all of her kids clothes, asked for something back. Part of being friends/family is being able to communicate what you need (and then graciously accept the response). |
Anonymous
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No! Do not do this if you weren't clear up front that you may need it back. It's rude. So many people gave us clothes, I would have no idea what all belonged to you.
I've seen Halo sleep sacks at TJ Maxx recently if you don't want to pay full price. |
Anonymous
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No. Unless you are incredibly close.
When you give away clothes, you have to separate the stuff you'll want back and let them know that if they want it, they have to hold onto it for you because you'll want it back. Otherwise, you suck it up. |
Anonymous
Like a PP said, it depends on your relationship. If you're just asking for a few items, you might say something like "hey, remember those sleepsacks I gave you? I was wondering if you still had them handy. No big deal if you don't, I just wanted to check!" |
Anonymous
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I'll be the voice of dissent. I think it's fine to ask her if she still has the sleepsacks but make it clear that it's fine if she doesn't.
1. A good friend gave me all her baby gear and a bunch of clothing (she had boys, I had a girl, so it was mostly gender neutral sleepsacks and the like). They were done having kids so told me to do whatever with it when I was done (donate, give away, etc.) Then they ended up having another child and she gently asked if I could return whatever I still had, which I was glad to do. No problem at all. I would have offered but in this case it happened suddenly (adoption) before I had a chance. She also made it clear that it was fine if I'd already given stuff away since she'd said she didn't need it back. 2. I lent out one piece of baby gear to the couple who'd given it to me when they had a baby not long after. I ended up having another and I asked if they still had it, but they didn't, they'd given it away. Again, not a problem on either end. This doesn't have to be a big thing. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| I like the PPs approach to just asking casually. And I agree with the advice that in the future, only give away stuff you don't want back. I kept all the cute stuff in boxes in my garage and gave the rest out. Funnily everyone gave the stuff back to me even though I never asked for it. Maybe they just didn't want to deal with getting rid of it. |
Anonymous
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12:43 again. There are also a lot on Craigslist.
OP, this is my listing. I can't help you with small sleepsacks (unless you want a pink fleece one?), but if you want larger sizes, just respond to the listing and say you're the OP of this thread and I'll give you mine. https://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/bab/6039522014.html |
Anonymous
No it's totally fine--just do it. Plenty of people in this area live in tiny apartments and are happy to be generous and share baby stuff even though they're not "done having kids." It's fine to get it back. I just had my second, and in some cases, people had passed the stuff I gave them along to other families, and in others, they gave me my stuff back (and other items I needed as well.) These baby items get used for such a short period--no need to spend 20$ on a new sleepsack. |
Anonymous
| Jesus, how much is a sleep sack? |
Anonymous
Anonymous
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This was super annoying when my friend did it. We ended up just not using the stuff and giving it back. Well meaning but not helpful.
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